To be annoyed with our lodger

[cheapandcheerful]

Back story:
He's a first year uni student who didn't have uni accommodation sorted so we said he could stay with us short-term until he found somewhere else.
The agreement was that his rent would include food for the following reasons:

1. I find it much easier and economical to just cook for an extra person when I'm cooking every night anyway.
2. I couldn't bear the thought of having to share the kitchen space with someone when we're often on a tight after-school schedule.
3. We don't have loads of cupboard space so would struggle to accommodate all of his shopping were he to be catering for himself.
4. I imagined that a 19-year-old chap wouldn't be the tidiest of creatures and that I would end up either nagging him to tidy up the kitchen after himself or just doing it for him myself a lot.

Today:
He has returned from a field trip and announced that he has become a vegetarian.
So suddenly at a minute's notice I have to either change my family's diet or allow him to use our kitchen to cook his own meals.
I know it's a small thing and that he's perfectly entitled to choose this for himself but it is such a pain in the arse and not what I signed up for.

AIBU or do I just need to suck it up?

settles down with (veggie) popcorn

If I was paying rent somewhere I'd hate not to be allowed to cook what I wanted when I wanted (being respectful to the owner of course)

I think if you want to benefit from someone paying into your mortgage you need to allow them to feel at home. Which means not dictating when abd what they eat I'm afraid.

OP, it's more than likely it won't last very long, with any hope it will just be a fad and by the end of the month he will be back to eating meat as he can't handle the faff and expense.

In the meantime, I would just keep cooking for him and he just has to buy meat substitutes out of his own wallet (possibly lower his rent as he is no longer eating as much of your own food) Eg, if you made meat & 3 veg, he would have to buy pasta or whatever to eat instead of the meat. If you have something like Casserole, just give him a warning and tell him he will have to make his meal either before or after you need the kitchen.

Bacon and eggs for breakfast tomorrow?

How about asking him what he thinks? You can ignore him if need be.

It's hardly some outlandish lifestyle choice. Can't you just sit down with him in a mature, calm manner and map out a plan?

I don't see the problem.
Breakfast = cereal or toast with jam/marmalade
Lunch: salad or sandwich
Dinner: base cookery of something you can all eat eg pasta with a veggie sauce with added bacon on the side or a meaty sauce and cheese on the side.

And so on for the short while he is staying.

Are you huge meat eaters OP?

It's hardly some outlandish lifestyle choice. Can't you just sit down with him in a mature, calm manner and map out a plan?

really ?

I watched a documentary recently. Cowspiracy.Apparently the most intelligent and self aware people are vegetarian....I was horrified how much water is used to produce one burger. Giving up meat us the single best thing you can do for the environment. Maybe he is an example for you.
Just get some vegetarian burgers in and stick one in the grill... I don't see why it is so hard really....most meals have more than just the meat in them surely.

......and it's all on. Surprised it took this long.

Shameless place making so I can read about the cooking attempt!

Umm, no I woudl not cook another dinner. You only get to choose what is for dinner if you are cooking it.

Maybe he does want to

Eat your choice of food
Eat so early in the evening
Doesn't like some of the food you cook

So has turned vegetarian in the vauge hope you will say

Cook for yourself

Then he is free to do what he likes without offending you

I need to know how he made cooking a veggie burger into an entertainment event.

dd became veggie about 6 months ago.

I cook for her where I can, but if we're having something that isn't easy to adapt for her, and I don't have time to cook a seperate meal, she cooks for herself. She also clean up after.

She is 15. I really think an adult should be able to fend for himself!

What about buying Quorn. Then you can replace the meat with the Quorn vegetarian meat. So he will basically eat the same as you.

*If I was paying rent somewhere I'd hate not to be allowed to cook what I wanted when I wanted (being respectful to the owner of course)

I think if you want to benefit from someone paying into your mortgage you need to allow them to feel at home. Which means not dictating when abd what they eat I'm afraid.*

The OP does not need to be grateful to her lodger for paying her mortgage. It is a business relationship and the lodger can make alternative arrangements if what is available doesn't suit. If the OP really needs the money she will put up with some discomfort, but lodgers have few rights precisely because the law recognises that people shouldn't be uncomfortable in their own homes in order to accommodate guests.

I think ivykaty may be right that he is angling for rights to cook for himself. When that's established he may give up on vegetarianism but will retain the independence.

Or maybe not. But whatever the reason the lodging isn't working for you any more so give him notice. It's your home and you don't run a restaurant. While the notice is running it's course go for minimum effort options e.g. Quorn sausages with whatever side veg the rest of the family is having.

I'm a vegetarian myself but in an arrangement like this would neither expect a non-vegetarian landlady to alter the family cooking nor expect to be allowed independent use of someone else's kitchen when that wasn't agreed before moving in. Because I don't have an over inflated sense of entitlement.

Apparently the most intelligent and self aware people are vegetarian...

YANBU! Can't believe how many ppl telling you to suck it up! You agreed to cook his meals then he arrives and announces he's a veggie?! Tough tittle! I'm a veggie before anyone says anything

He should at least have given you some notice. You took him on short term - your house your rules. Personally I'd be kicking him out (nicely) as soon as possible! Can't find Uni accom?! Come on!

I can't believe OP is getting advised to evict her lodger as he is vegetarian! Then again I can't believe OP has a lodger that she denies the right to eat what they like or be able to cook for theirselves, I really hope he is not paying market rates for his lodgings. The answer is obvious surely, stop being so bloody selfish, give up a cupboard and let the lodger cook for himself.

by the end of the month he will be back to eating meat as he can't handle the faff and expense
What 'faff' or expense is there in being vegetarian? you know meat is generally a lot more expensive than vegtables, right?

mileend she's not being advised to evict for being a veggie. She's not being selfish either - quite the opposite given she offered to help this person. I mean he's an adult for hod's sake!

It was a short term agreement until he found somewhere else. The initial agreement was that his rent includes food. He has suddenly decided on a whim to change everything. Not the OPs problem!

My bet is he met a girl who is veggie and hes trying to impress her.Can he have a time frame say between 7 and 7.15 he has the kitchen and 6 and 7pm in the evening.

He has suddenly decided on a whim to change everything. Not the OPs problem!

Actually it is (although I'm not sure I'd call it a problem - more an issue to be resolved). OP has thus far cooked for the lodger, for reasons to suit her/the family, and the lodger's rent includes food.

From the information provided so far, the lodger hasn't demanded that the OP provides vegetarian food, only said that he's now vegetarian. I'm sure it won't be that difficult in practice to either give him access to the kitchen to prepare food, or for the OP - if she still prefers to cook for him - to substitute the meat part of his meal with a (cheap) vegetarian alternative.