To avoid visiting this friend and her husband from now on?

[Mia1079]

One of my new(ish) friends that I met through a hobby about 8 months ago invited me round to her house for lunch with her husband. Now I'm not a prude or anything, but imagine this: everything was normal, we'd just finished having lunch and she said to him:

"I really want an iPad. I know we're meant to be saving money but if you pick one up for me when you go out later, there'll be a blowjob in it for you."

A conversation then ensues where he umm-s and ahhs, says he would need more sexual favours than that and the conversation ends with her poking his tongue out, him saying "don't tongue me!" and her replying, "you've never said that before!"

I'm sat through the whole of this like
Was this weird or am I being unreasonable to have felt really uncomfortable? I don't even know them that well (have only met her husband once before) and with just the three of us sat there, it was so awkward!

Woke up to a text from her this morning..."I managed to convince him to get me an iPad in the end but I had to agree to all sorts of sexual favours lol"

I know they're married. I know they have sex... but I don't want to hear about it. I wouldn't over share details about my relationships so I would appreciate the same (at least with this friend.) AIBU to avoid being alone with these two again?!

Hah! Good point, Tess. I'd really like an iPad. Any chance you could introduce me to this couple, OP?

I'm envisaging the swinging couple from Benidorm I can't watch Old Jack's Boat without sniggering

I would be tempted to say something about a shame that she has to prostitute herself to get an ipad.

I read your hobby as a pornography club! Sorry op.

Yanbu btw.

Are these wicker hearts really a sign of swinging?
I saw a nice one the other day and was considering buying it. Luckily I bought some new boots instead.

I'd doubt it's swingers but it does sound like she has slotted you into a BFF position where it's never acceptable to sex chat like that in front of you?

It actually sounds a bit D/s Master/slave doesn't it? She's only allowed treats if her Dom/Master/'Daddy' allows it. And then only in return for sexual favours.

OP, you should probably stop wearing wrist cuffs/leather collar/ball gag to your photography evenings. You're giving off all the wrong signals.

Seriously, if they are polyamorous or kinky, they'd probably admit it. If that's not your bag, then they'd step away. Doesn't mean you cant continue to be friends.

Agree with PPs. Respond to any such messages with "TMI" or "gross" + smiley face. If she doesn't take the hint, then keep a wide berth.

YUK

how unnecessary, like they are trying to show off how sexual they are

bet they do it once a month with the lights off

She is very show-offy in other ways (materialistic) so it could have been a misguided boast at how their sex life is good. I really don't know. I feel a bit weird around her now though!

Another weird thing is that I have wicker hearts in my house had no idea it was the sign of a swinger!!

Oh no she's clocked your wicker hearts!

I probably wouldn't have found it uncomfortable between some very close friends if it was obviously a joke. New friends and not 100% clear it's a joke I wouldn't have likes.

They're swingers. Duh.

Can you pop this into etiquette as well

Not sure what the correct response is

With trepidation, I googled an image of pampas grass. Yup, my parents had that in our front garden when I was a child.

Definitely an over sharing couple. It is perfectly reasonable to avoid being in a situation that makes you uncomfortable in the future. YANBU.

Oh no she's clocked your wicker hearts

Genuine lolling out loud.

They were looking for a three way and were sussing you out.

Does seem slightly odd that in these days of social media and FetLife and everything, that swingers might feel the need to hang wicker hearts in their porches. Why not send up smoke signals?

I imagine that the poster who said wicker hearts were the new pampas grass was totally joking. It doesn't matter! I totally believe it now and will do for all time.

Yanbu, sound like a couple of perverts. Avoid, avoid, avoid.

I think they were sussing you out for a threesome.

I'd do as Branleuse says and I think it was avoid and ignore...

If you really really want to keep the friendship you could text/say you don't appreciate their sex talk in front of you but I suspect she'd either have a go at you, say it was a joke (oh yeah ha ha!) or some other cop out story. Awkward....

I think they were joking around. Inappropriate in front of someone they don't know well, but I'd hardly call swinging based on that convo!

They were testing your boundaries OP.

Sorry stopped reading the full thread when it got to wicker hearts... Can someone please explain this to me?! I have one hanging in a front window... Oh fuck it am i telling the world that me and DH are swingers?!!!! I cant even get it down becuase im not at home right now!!!!! Worst part is that my mother put it there

I must be really naive, but there is no way from that conversation that I would have thought that these people were swingers. I just would have thought that they were trying to shock me.

I wonder whether talking about their sex life in front of a third party is their kink. They may not actually want a threesome.