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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to be furious with DH

63 replies

Boosiehs · 01/11/2015 09:22

He has just this second walked in, after going to a Halloween party with some friends leaving me at home (7 months preg) with DS(2). My choice not to go but am knackered all the time now anyway. Not one phone call or text since he left at 7.30 last night. I asked him not to come home too late.

So AIBU to be furious with him for not letting me know where he was? Have been up since 6am worried about where he is and what is going on. Should he have tried to call from pay phone/other person's mobile?

I think so by I imagine I will be told by him I am spoiling his fun night out.

OP posts:

ConesOfDunshire · 01/11/2015 12:24

*single, even!

CatMilkMan · 01/11/2015 12:25

DP and I have both stayed out all night, sex or drugs have never been involved.
He owes you 24 hours now OP.

ThirtyFivePounds · 01/11/2015 12:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PresidentUnderwood · 01/11/2015 12:31

He owes you respect & an explanation.

I'm all for independence but not to abdicate responsibility as a partner and father.

bloodyteenagers · 01/11/2015 12:46

You can stay out all night without sex, drugs and alcohol.
I do it regularly.

Depending where he was he might not have been able to get a cab or a bus. Not all bus stops have the working countdown. Night buses are not regular. There was diversions and roads closed as well over night.

GruntledOne · 01/11/2015 12:50

If he had any consideration for you, he would have ordered a taxi well in advance to pick him up from the party by 11 at the latest.

BorisBaby · 01/11/2015 13:39

Last time I went out I didn't get back till 6AM hope DH doesn't think I was having drug-induced orgy

AdjustableWench · 01/11/2015 14:16

Last time I stayed out all night I was the one who was 7 months pregnant. No drugs or shagging though. Just one of those conversations that goes on all night.

I agree that a phone call is in order in these circumstances, and that there should be some kind of quid pro quo (e.g. looking after the children while the other partner gets some down time).

mellowfartfulness · 01/11/2015 15:05

Yeah, I've stayed out all night doing nothing more illicit than drinking beer and setting the world to rights. It's a fucking inconsiderate thing to do when your partner's waiting at home with the kids and no idea where you are. I'd be furious with him. But it's not in itself an indication of drug use and cheating and every horror under the sun.

Cheesybaps · 01/11/2015 15:10

To whoever asked why I "wasn't proud to say" I'd shouted at my DP - we don't really ever argue, I think its probably the first time I've raised my voice at him. I'm much more of a talking things through kind of person.

However I was absolutely furious. I didn't call him names or anything, just said what I wanted to say a bit louder I suppose.

anothernumberone · 01/11/2015 15:10

I had a similar situation with DH many years ago admittedly he had gone out with his team who has won an important match. 11:30 the next day he walked into his mother's house and she gave him so much abuse we have never had a repeat performance. I was actually so worried I was more relieved to see him than angry and really his mother had said it all.

PhoebeMcPeePee · 01/11/2015 16:24

Very sorry I should have elaborated on my rather sweeping statement about sex or drugs being involved - I'm well aware it's possible to pull an all-nighter without either (or booze) but I simply don't believe a grown man with responsibilities at home, knowing he hasn't made contact since leaving the house the previous evening, can't either find a way of getting home or at the very least a message to home. It smacks of 'I was too distracted to even think of the implications of my actions'

ILiveAtTheBeach · 01/11/2015 16:41

WTAF. Completely irresponsible and I would be furious! FWIW, in my first marriage, my ExH did this, and it transpired he'd spent the night at a woman's flat. I also did it (after he cheated first) and I was shagging another guy. So, for me, given my experience, I would assume he'd pulled a bird and spent the night with her. That would also explain why he didn't call - if he told her he was single. I really hope not (obviously), but really, who on earth thinks that this is ok. How are you meant to know he's not lying in a ditch somewhere. Also - it's ridiculous in the extreme, that he goes off the grid when you are pregnant and have young kids. What if you went into premature labour last night? What is one of the kids got seriously ill? I would be beyond angry. I'm not sure I could even put up with being with this arse.

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