Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

This article has given me the rage - what fuckwits believe this shit ?

79 replies

PaddingtonStareBare · 31/10/2015 09:25

www.mic.com/articles/127405/christian-website-perpetuates-a-dangerous-myth-about-marital-rape?utm_source=policymicFB&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=WHFacebook&ts_pid=2&utm_content=inf_10_285_2

Angry
OP posts:
babyboomersrock · 31/10/2015 17:43

Unfortunately, Wrcgirl, the verse preceding it says Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord, as I'm sure you noticed.

I'm always surprised when people are shocked by this sort of thing. Maybe it's time to start reading what the bible actually says before we proudly declare ourselves a "Christian country" or fret that our lovely Christian customs/values may be lost.

The bible is not a nice book full of pleasant tales of fisherfolk - it was written by men, for men - as most religious texts are - to maintain the status quo.

startrek90 · 31/10/2015 17:54

As a Christian woman I am disgusted by this. It's definitely not Christian. Jesus explicitly stated that husbands should love and cherish their wives. My husband who is also a Christian is appalled at such an attitude.

Tokelau · 31/10/2015 18:04

I feel sorry for the women who are married to men like this. I imagine that if they come from fundamentalist families, they have no support to be able to leave their husbands and are trapped.

honeysucklejasmine · 31/10/2015 18:08

Repulsive attitude. He no more represents Christian attitudes than ISIS do Muslim ones. Disgusting.

nooka · 31/10/2015 18:52

Anyone who sincerely believes that wives bodies belong to their husbands has a serious problem. On his website Solomon has a section claiming that he doesn't condone husbands raping their wives, and that he isn't for abuse. I suspect that he is one of those people who thinks of rape as only being rape if there is violence involved.

The 'don't look at her face just in case she is grimacing and thinking just get it over with ' because that might do in your hard on/make it hard to ejaculate is really really grim.

I read the actual blog post and it is a bit more nuanced, but essentially says that if your wife doesn't enjoy sex it is essentially her fault. You aren't raping her, she is withholding on you, you should pray to god not be be a better person who doesn't want to rape his wife, but instead for her to put out willingly for you.

The advice to wives blog is I think even worse. Here is spends ages on proving that the bible says it's actually a good thing to lie, followed by saying that even if you are in pain you should allow your husband to have sex on you. T

MrsBartlettforthewin · 31/10/2015 19:04

*Now she gives sex when I want. As you have stated she is like a starfish, so I just go from behind, that way I don’t have to see her.

The redpill awareness has become very very very very true in our marriage now. The less time I spend really paying attention to her, the more I do what I want and less home chores I do, the better she treats me. Am I mean? Absolutely NOT! I love her and I am committed, but if she is disrespectful I take away affection. If she is unsubmissive, I do not sit and listen to her blab on about her friends and day*

this is from the comments on the blog?!?!? How can any man think it is okay to treat his wife like this? This is not the Christian attitude I know. I really should stop reading it.

Oswin · 31/10/2015 19:09

Oh no. That is horrendous mrsbartlett. Sad. That's made me feel sick. What the fuck. How can anyone think that is ok.
Fucking bastards. Angry

MrsBartlettforthewin · 31/10/2015 19:16

The whole thing makes me feel sick Oswin I've just been reading the blog post about how women should fake it - this guy's logic is soo messed up.

DeoGratias · 31/10/2015 19:36

Until about 1991 which is not very long ago a husband could not rape his wife and women gave continuous consent to sex in marriage in English law. That remains the case in many countries and across many cultures. It is the same in Islam.

stoppingbywoods · 31/10/2015 19:50

Horrific. What a dreadful man. I'm ashamed he calls himself a christian.

nooka · 31/10/2015 19:56

Urgh. Reading the comments there is a bit where Solomon explains how he 'discipines' his wife. Essentially it sounds as if he treats her a bit like a prostitute. When she makes an effort 'being enthusiastic toward meeting my needs' she gets rewards 'to help her understand that correlation' and when she 'slips back into her old patterns' he pulls back on essentially being nice to her. The way he talks about her is as if she is a bit sub-human, stupid almost more of a pet than a person.

Wives apparently 'don’t get to deny their husbands sexually or disrespect or disobey their husband(like in finances) without consequences.'

So he is essentially a nasty abuser. Still not as bad as some of the commentators!

Dollymixtureyumyum · 31/10/2015 20:46

There no words just no words

Wrcgirl · 31/10/2015 21:06

Yes, baby boom, you need them both together or you have husband abusing or wife abusing. Sorry probably should have copied both.

grimbletart · 31/10/2015 23:00

He's one sick bastard isn't he?

Littleallovertheshop · 01/11/2015 19:47

I read the article and the comments and I'm so angry at this man. What he describes is disgusting and not what should be advocated within a Christian marriage. I just don't have the words.

Littleallovertheshop · 01/11/2015 19:48

(or any marriage for that matter)

DeoGratias · 02/11/2015 07:23

Yes, it's appalling but as I said above it was English law until 1991!

StormyLlewelyn · 02/11/2015 07:45

An acquaintance of MILs was convicted for marital rape a few years ago. His wife was on sleeping pills and while she was out for count he was raping her. One night she woke up during it.

MIL was gossiping telling me about it and then very sniffily said "although how you're supposed to 'rape' someone you're married to is beyond me" and her DP chimed in "you can't marry someone and then say you don't want sex with them."

Attitudes like that enable the attitudes expressed in the article.

MammaTJ · 02/11/2015 08:03

"you can't marry someone and then say you don't want sex with them."

Well, I know we're not married but DP and I have lived together for over 10 years no, and you know what, just this morning I said No to sex and it was fine!

Shocking that people have this attitude in this day and age!

mollie123 · 02/11/2015 08:21

Unfortunately, Wrcgirl, the verse preceding it says Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord, as I'm sure you noticed.

I'm always surprised when people are shocked by this sort of thing. Maybe it's time to start reading what the bible actually says before we proudly declare ourselves a "Christian country" or fret that our lovely Christian customs/values may be lost.

The bible is not a nice book full of pleasant tales of fisherfolk - it was written by men, for men - as most religious texts are - to maintain the status quo.

this is the Old testament which is a religious tract of its time - as I am sure you know Shock
Christianity values (the New Testament) are mainly about love and respect and I for one am grateful to live in a country with a basis of our lovely Christian values

annandale · 02/11/2015 08:33

Mollie I'm sorry to be chippy but the verses you and wrcgirl are discussing are New Testament verses.

I like Karen Armstrong's take on St Paul, that the letters were written by two people, one great thinker and one misogynistic twat Grin

AnotherCider · 02/11/2015 08:44

I just read the original blog, and the comments underneath.

They are utterly sickening....

treaclesoda · 02/11/2015 08:46

I may be wrong but I think the submit to your husband quote is from St Paul, so it's new testament.

I am actually having a very similar, although not quite as extreme, argument with my own church at present. The minister keeps sending a representative out to discuss things with me because I have argued strongly that promising to obey in marriage is a green light for abusive husbands. I asked if the church believed that women should be allowed to decline sex or if the wife should have the right to say 'we are not having any more children, I don't want to be pregnant'and was told 'of course'. So I asked how that worked if your husband wanted sex or a child. They had no answer...

annandale · 02/11/2015 09:01

TreacleShock this can't be a new idea to them?

treaclesoda · 02/11/2015 09:06

Well, I had the same argument with them when I got married in the 90s but the argument is still going on. Angry