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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

SIL - child changing a nappy at the tables in a soft play centre

57 replies

PagesOfABook · 30/10/2015 12:30

AIBU to find this really disgusting or am I over sensitive?

SIL thinks nothing of changing her child's nappy while were sitting in the coffee shop part of a soft play area.

She just puts them on her lap to do it. She doesn't even make much of an attempt to hide it -so people at the next table who are eating food have a view of her baby's bottom.

I feel really embarrassed but don't think it's worth saying anything and falling out with her over it.

Luckily I've only seen her changing wet nappies in this way - so far anyway.

She didn't go in to the bathroom to wash her hands afterwards.

There were several adults there -we could have minded her other children while she popped into the baby change room which was about 20 foot away.

A friend did this too once. We were in a coffee shop in another children's play centre and it was very quiet and the baby changing room was nearby - it was empty and clean. My friend asked if we'd mind if she changed her baby's nappy on the floor next to our table - everyone said they didn't mind as it felt to awkward to say 'yes actually I do mind' . She changed the dirty nappy and pointed out the colour of the baby's poo. I felt a bit sick but pretended I wasn't as I sipped my coffee and tried to avert my eyes.

Maybe I'm overly sensitive but I think nappy changing should be done away from where food is consumed - and near a sink where you can wash your hands after. If you're out in the wilderness then use a hand sanitiser and wash your hands as soon as you get a chance.

I have 2 DCs and it was never a big deal to pop to the baby change room or the bathrooms.

OP posts:

Aeroflotgirl · 30/10/2015 13:20

Yanbu at all, it is unhygenic and bad manners. You are in a soft play, obviously there will be baby changing facilities, she should use those.

Vixxfacee · 30/10/2015 13:20

An old friend changed her baby on the actual table at Pizza Hut.

OurBlanche · 30/10/2015 13:27

Sorry, but all the horror and vilification is making me smile.

I'm another who remembers nappies being changed on laps. I have never used a changing mat or room, never scandalised anyone or killed an unsuspecting bystander.

How fast attitudes change!

usual · 30/10/2015 13:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ProudAS · 30/10/2015 13:52

It's disgusting. Just because some people don't have a problem and you don't see people heaving doesn't mean nobody does. I have been known to retch or even bring up bile at the sight of poo (even on TV) and I'm not the only person with this problem although I fight to keep it discrete.

The baby changing room is there for a reason.

MrsHathaway · 30/10/2015 14:06

I've changed many a nappy on my lap, but not when there was a baby change so close to hand, and not in the vicinity of food service.

SarahSavesTheDay · 30/10/2015 14:06

Disgusting. I consider changing tables in bathrooms progress, much like indoor plumbing.

ValiantMouse · 30/10/2015 14:13

I'd rather not have a baby being changed right next to me but I'm not going to clutch my pearls over it happening either as long as the nappy doesn't stink to high heaven.

TheFairyCaravan · 30/10/2015 14:15

It's disguising. Urine is only sterile until it hits the urethra, after that it's not.

Change nappies on your laps all you want, just don't do it in an area where food is consumed.

AdjustableWench · 30/10/2015 14:16

I've never done it (too clumsy - I would have dropped the baby). But I've seen it done and it doesn't bother me - at least for a wet nappy. A dirty nappy would be smelly, so that would be unpleasant.

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 30/10/2015 14:16

Disgusting, anyone who thinks it's ok really need to learn some social manners. No one out of nappies would clean up their toilet mess at the dinner table, it's not ok to change a nappy there either. Yes it's a shame not all places have somewhere decent to change a baby, but just have to work around that. Changing a child just to make a point, or thinking it's 'ok if it's just a wet one' is just awful, entitled behaviour.

usual · 30/10/2015 14:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Haroldplaystheharmonica · 30/10/2015 14:19

Sorry, I'm another one who just can't get worked up about this.

Gileswithachainsaw · 30/10/2015 14:20

quite often babies pee as soon as the air hits their bottom. boys especially don't they?

you can't garuntee a baby won't wee or poo mid change nor can you garuntee it won't squirm/wriggle causing drips on clothes or the floor.

it's not the bum.tahts offensive people just don't want to watch babies pee or have shit wiped up and placed in open bags inches from your food.

Alconleigh · 30/10/2015 14:21

That's pretty grim where people are eating. I do think a lot of parents forget that only a small subset of society at any time is in the small child, life dominated by someone else's bodily functions, nappy phase. Those of us who aren't really, really don't want to see or smell other people's wee or poo. Of course sometimes need sometimes needs must but this doesn't
sound like one of those times.

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 30/10/2015 14:24

Not the end of the world, but a bit inconsiderate.

Was there an emergency? Was there a reason she couldn't get to the change room?

Just lazy... Not good.

If there was a reason, then fair enough. The child might get awful bum-rash and there could be a queue of 20 desperate toddlers. So you find a really quiet corner away from the food.

Ratarse · 30/10/2015 14:25

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest if it was only wee, I assume she put the nappy straight in a nappy bag. As long as she didn't then wipe the nappy, wee side down, all over the table then I really don't know what the problem is.

lexigrey · 30/10/2015 14:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TracyBarlow · 30/10/2015 14:33

Wee + baby under one = fine
Wee + baby over one = slightly odd, but I wouldn't worry too much.
Poo + baby of any age = unacceptable

I'm not worried about hygiene. Surely the wee just goes straight into a nappy bag and into the bin? What bothers me is the grim poo smell.

Whoknewitcouldbeso · 30/10/2015 14:34

My son wears pull ups that tear off. I can very quickly whilst he is standing, take his trousers off, put a pair of fresh pull ups on, trousers back on. Then wet nappy gets torn off and straight into nappy bag, fresh pull up pulled up, trousers pulled up, wet wipe hands, job done.

I do pick my times and wouldn't do it as a matter of course. Probably if the place was rammed or the changing room was absolutely disgusting.

itsmeohlord · 30/10/2015 14:39

Yes it is.

Whilst MY MIL used to change mine on her lap (an art I never mastered) she would NEVER have done it in a coffee shop.

AllMyBestFriendsAreMetalheads · 30/10/2015 14:41

usual

Other babies shit smells worse than your own. The shit of my own baby I can handle, anyone else's makes me gip.

Thurlow · 30/10/2015 14:41

I changed all mine on my lap. I'm not sure baby changing rooms were even a thing when my eldest two were babies.

Ah, the joys of progress. Nowadays there are baby changing rooms in almost every cafe and restaurant, so people should use them.

SaucyJack · 30/10/2015 14:44

I couldn't care less at a soft play place if it was only a wet one.

Toddler shit in public tests my limits (and my gag reflex)

saoirse31 · 30/10/2015 14:50

Wouldn't bother me at all. Think some of you are easily upset.

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