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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think its strange someone single and child free wanting to work part time

161 replies

Oolva · 29/10/2015 18:04

Ive got someone on my team without any children and late 2o's. Wants to work part time. It will cause me a bit of effort as will need to get a new hire in to cover the other days and I'm a bit annoyed with all the investment ive made on custom equipment (several grand!) And training courses. I could refuse on buisness grounds but I probably won't.

Aibu to think its q bit odd? He's saying he will have to work forvever and can't afford a house but I think he's shot himself in the foot as if he worked harder could afford a pension and a house eventually.

OP posts:
welliesandleaves · 30/10/2015 14:53

Don't be silly. I was giving an example of the kind of things he might want to go part time to do and basically making the point that I could understand someone young wanting to work part time if they had other things they wanted or needed to do, but would personally consider it an awful waste if they were just going to be dossing around doing nothing several days a week.

How is it big of me. It's just an opinion. As I said, it's ultimately his own business and none of the above should be taken into account when considering his request.

OnlyLovers · 30/10/2015 14:56

Yes, I know, it's only your attitude/what you've posted here that I'm going on. I do realise you don't think it should be part of the OP's decision.

I find it big of you (in a sarcastic way) that you magnanimously conclude that, should he choose to do certain things with his time off that would be 'fair enough', whereas choosing to do other things wouldn't be and he should be being more 'productive'.

But I think you do actually understand what I'm saying and I don't quite know why I'm having to explain why I'm commenting on your comments. Confused

welliesandleaves · 30/10/2015 14:59

Well we'll have to agree to differ. Personally I would find the idea of a twenty something healthy young male wasting half the week lying around doing nothing a bit sad.

You obviously see nothing wrong with it.

itsmeohlord · 30/10/2015 15:04

Maybe he has elderly relatives/sick relative to care for. Maybe he has not 100% well but does not want to disclose this at work.

Kids are not the only reason that people want part time work.

OnlyLovers · 30/10/2015 15:06

I love it: you've judged him AND me in one short post! Grin

welliesandleaves · 30/10/2015 15:08

Where did I judge you? I said we should agree to differ.

Your posts are becoming a bit strange.

lieselvontwat · 30/10/2015 15:25

No scremersford, it isn't obvious or common sense. Sure, if those things are both a priority and a possibility for you, you might think it's more important to get cracking with them than to use your time and money for something else. That's valid. But you might not. There may be, indeed evidently are, other things that are more important to him, as there are to many people. This is why it's not 'surely' at all. There are a lot of things it's much easier to do in your 20s before you have ties, buying a house is just one on a long list. Try and make it in the arts, provide care for a relative who might not have long left, spend two days a week prison visiting, start your self-employed sideline (wouldn't be too surprised if this is what's going on here and would obviously explain why OP hasn't been given a reason). It would only 'surely' make more sense if he considered homeowning and pension more important than being able to do any of these.

And there's a wider point nobody's really addressed yet, the prospect of a home and pension seem pretty far away and speculative at the moment. I'm a couple of years older than this bloke, and I can say that a lot of people our age don't expect to be able to actually draw any pensions we might build up, or at least not to be able to get them until we're older than currently stated and for them to be heavily taxed. The property market has been deranged for over a decade now and he may not actually trust that it's worth it to build up a deposit.

welliesandleaves · 30/10/2015 15:36

I also think he may be testing the waters before leaving the job completely to become self employed. In which case he would actually be making a sensible decision to not burn all his boats before he knows whether he can make a living out of his new business/becoming freelance.

As he doesn't have any dependents he can afford to take a cut in salary to try new things which might ultimately give him a much better quality of life or more satisfying career.

Limiting all his options simply to get on the property ladder isn't necessarily the right thing to do. In fact, I wish we could be more like countries on the continent and have a rental structure that would see renting for life as a very viable option.

DontHaveAUsername · 30/10/2015 15:50

Its not weird at all - if he can afford to fund his lifestyle just by part time work then it's his call.

troubleatmillcock · 30/10/2015 16:24

Maybe he has something outside of works that he likes, like, maybe a life?

Just a thought.

troubleatmillcock · 30/10/2015 16:27

Yet another example of how people in power (even at this level!) try to control our every move and wring ever bloody ounce out of us.

Work harder, little people.

GoblinLittleOwl · 30/10/2015 16:33

As long as he doesn't fund his lifestyle by benefits, it's up to him.

ouryve · 30/10/2015 16:53

I'm glad the OP was sensible enough to put this question out there, rather than sticking, unthinkingly, with values they have admitted are old fashioned.

DH works FT and can't ever imagine being able to retire. A lot of companies in his industry have no compulsory retirement age, anyhow. One of his colleagues is 70. The guy thought he'd be doing a bit of PT work and ended up FT again, very quickly!

troubleatmillcock · 30/10/2015 17:01

'he's shot himself in the foot as if he worked harder could afford a pension and a house eventually'

Maybe he can have another huge weight around his neck and you can persuade him to marry unnecessarily?

howabout · 30/10/2015 17:08

ime employers get pretty jittery when they realise you don't actually need the money. Perhaps that is what drives the obsession with mortgaging everyone to the hilt in the UK?

uggmum · 30/10/2015 17:08

I don't thinks it's strange at all.
I work part time. My dc are 12 &16. How ever, I do not envisage working full time even when they have left home.
I enjoy going out for lunch and socialising during the day. I have 5 days off a week now.
I really love my job but I love my social life too.
If you can afford it, then why not.

DurhamDurham · 30/10/2015 17:12

My girls have both left home now, one to go to Uni and the other to live with friends.

We're putting our house on the market to downsize. As soon as it's sold I'll be putting in a request at work to work part time. I can't wait. I enjoy my job but I enjoy not being at work more.

If someone can afford to work part time why would they want to work full time?

ChilledAndPleasant · 30/10/2015 17:19

I absolutely loved working part time in my first job after my PhD. I was 3 days a week and had plenty of time for boring life admin and grocery shopping and stuff.
If I could make enough money that way, I would definitely still be doing it. Life/work balance is a wonderful thing!

harshbuttrue1980 · 30/10/2015 17:33

Everyone has the right to pursue the life they want. In all honesty though, I do have my reservations if someone is moaning about not being able to afford a property and then works part time. When I used to do online dating, it was a bit of a red flag for me if someone worked part time if he didn't have anything else going on - I know its judgemental, but it was just the way I felt. On the other hand, if he had worked 4 days a week because he was studying or trying to set up his own business on the other day, then that would be fine. I have a strong work ethic, and wanted to meet someone who also did.

Draylon · 30/10/2015 18:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Draylon · 30/10/2015 18:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BestZebbie · 30/10/2015 20:17

I went part-time before I had a baby....because I found a job that was several rungs up the ladder but also only two days a week, so I took it and went down to just 3 days a week on my longstanding job.

JemimaMuddleDuck · 30/10/2015 20:27

YABU

I hate working full time and squeezing my life into evenings and weekends. Struggling to get doctor and hair appointments because I'm at work all week. Going to the shops when the world and his wife is there....

When part time and flexible jobs become more acceptable we will all benefit especially women.

Tywinlannister · 30/10/2015 20:39

I feel really sorry for this guy. He's got his own reasons, nothing to do with us, and he's getting shot down for potentially being lazy. I couldn't give a shit if he's watching Judge Rinder in his pants eating Pringles and scratching his arse on his days off! None of my business!

Iggi999 · 30/10/2015 21:04

What he is proposing is the very definition of "odd" or "strange" surely, in that it is unusual and rare - certainly not the norm in our society.

That's not to say it is wrong but I find it hard to swallow all the posts saying it's not unusual, as if their workplaces are full of child free young men choosing to work part-time.