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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think its strange someone single and child free wanting to work part time

161 replies

Oolva · 29/10/2015 18:04

Ive got someone on my team without any children and late 2o's. Wants to work part time. It will cause me a bit of effort as will need to get a new hire in to cover the other days and I'm a bit annoyed with all the investment ive made on custom equipment (several grand!) And training courses. I could refuse on buisness grounds but I probably won't.

Aibu to think its q bit odd? He's saying he will have to work forvever and can't afford a house but I think he's shot himself in the foot as if he worked harder could afford a pension and a house eventually.

OP posts:
lieselvontwat · 30/10/2015 09:34

I know he can't afford a pension or home on a part time wage oolva, but you said he could if he worked full time. That suggests he must be pretty well paid, because for most twentysomethings these days those things are pretty expensive. Especially property on your own, which I assume he'd be doing as he doesn't have a partner. And I don't think it's odd that someone who is well paid enough to live on a part time wage would choose to do it, to put free time first. It's a perfectly reasonable attitude to have.

Original poster
Oolva · 30/10/2015 09:44

Oh I mean in a few years he might be able to. Wage is probably 10k more than uk average.

OP posts:
lieselvontwat · 30/10/2015 10:00

Ok. If the wage is 10k more than UK average, that would mean it's plenty for a single person to manage on PT if they need to. It doesn't seem odd to me for someone to put free time now ahead of the possibility that they might be able to buy a property at some point in the future. He's choosing tangible benefits today over possibilities in the future. Having no dependants means he has that luxury, I can see why he might want to use it.

GoneAndDone · 30/10/2015 10:07

I don't have kids and have worked PT for years, I'm 32.

I can afford to do it, and it's made it possible for me to do further study, volunteer work, see a psychoanalyst, renovate a house etc. I know lots of people in similar circumstances. Nothing strange about it.

specialsubject · 30/10/2015 10:13

kids are not everyone's life choice. He may have plenty of hobbies/outside stuff he wants to do.

and waiting until retirement to do it all is a risky choice. You may not have your health. You may be dead.

I don't think you should discriminate on the basis of having kids or not.

Scremersford · 30/10/2015 10:20

I agree if its odd if he's not given a very good reason to justify his request (which you don't have to grant).

Its all very well talking about time to develop and how its nice not to be consumed by work but surely in your twenties your best placed to use your and energy to develop your career, get a mortgage, etc..

I read a comment on here recently about the number of men that don't seem to want to work. I can also think of several others who also work part time, at different stages in their lives, for no particularly good reason. Generally they have someone else to take up the financial slack, either through inheritance or their partner working. No kids.

I don't thin it creates a very good impression in the workplace though, and he is a bit naieve not to realise this.

Is her perhaps some sort of budding Olympic sports star who needs the time to train though?

G1veMeStrength · 30/10/2015 10:30

I'd probably say he could go part time in x months ie when the equipment has paid for itself or been written off or depreciated or whatever financial thingy I mean.

It sounds odd to me because I can't wait to have my mortgage paid off, I can't imagine delaying being secure. But I have got this image of a sort of beer swilling rugby player who cba to work as mummy and daddy will leave him a nice chunk of cash in due course.

Embolio · 30/10/2015 10:31

I have a young family and work part time (30 hours). If I could have afforded to when younger/child free I would have done it in a shot! Who wouldn't value more free time and time to spend on hobbies over being in work?!

I enjoy my job, I'm lucky that it is a profession where working pt isn't really unusual (nurse). I do think in relation to office jobs just because you are present 5 days per week doesn't mean you are working productively, a part time worker might actually be getting more work done than someone in the office every day pricrastinating and surfing the web.

Embolio · 30/10/2015 10:35

I also think if you are earning enough to manage financially and have the lifestyle they want how is it lazy not to work more hours? Someone could be studying, volunteering, caring for a relative, writing a novel or absolutely anything in their spare time.

Not everyone values wealth/accumulation of possessions over everything else.

Embolio · 30/10/2015 10:36

Argh procrastinating. Sausage fingers

OnlyLovers · 30/10/2015 10:43

His finances and living arrangements are none of your business, and people in relationships/with children don't have a monopoly on part-time jobs.

As an employer your views are a bit worrying.

lieselvontwat · 30/10/2015 10:47

Its all very well talking about time to develop and how its nice not to be consumed by work but surely in your twenties your best placed to use your and energy to develop your career, get a mortgage, etc..

Why surely?

antimatter · 30/10/2015 11:36

I think everyone's different. He may want to try part-time to see if it duits him.
This isn't sackable offence to ask as someone above suggested. Is it?

SolidGoldBrass · 30/10/2015 11:52

The idea that everyone must 'work hard and get on the property ladder' is one of the reasons why society and the economy are in such a fucking mess. If your rugby-loving employee can see through the bullshit, he sounds like a decent sort of chap.

Also, I wonder if your organisation is one of those that demands 'commitment' despite the actual work done being a bog standard Bullshit Job such as redesigning corporate logos/coldcalling people to ask them to switch energy suppliers. Many jobs are both boring and unnecessary. The more people look at those jobs and do them strictly for the cash and in as little time as possible, the better.

EponasWildDaughter · 30/10/2015 12:17

Skimmed thread so apols if i'm repeating, but maybe he doesn't want to own a property. Perhaps he views it as a tie and a responsibility he doesn't want.

Perhaps he sees himself traveling, looking to settle down in another country in 20 years? Perhaps he just wants his life kept simple and his choices left open for as long as possible? Who can blame him for that? You're a long time mortgaged dead.

Alconleigh · 30/10/2015 13:27

I would love to work part time and I don't have kids. Saving for a house deposit though so not currently an option. Let's face it an awful lot of modern office jobs are basically typing numbers into a telly for 38 hours a week (I include my own in that, obviously not teachers, nurses, carers, other useful sorts). A day a week doing something more meaningful, whatever that means to a person, is a wonderful idea and great for the soul. N

Scremersford · 30/10/2015 13:56

lieselvontwat Its all very well talking about time to develop and how its nice not to be consumed by work but surely in your twenties your best placed to use your and energy to develop your career, get a mortgage, etc..

Why surely?

Erm, isn't it obvious/common sense?

  • its easier to get a mortgage for an affordable term that will be paid off by the time you retire (25 years at age 29 is a lot more doable than 30 years at age 39)
  • you are less likely to suffer ill health conditions that may prevent you working that become more likely with increasing age
  • you are less likely to have dependents/family to support
  • more energy

and so on.

SolidGoldBrass The idea that everyone must 'work hard and get on the property ladder' is one of the reasons why society and the economy are in such a fucking mess

As compared to where? Full time workers working hard being a problem to society is one of these strange mumsnet myths that people with too much time to spend on internet sites like to bandy around (I really need to get off here...). Funnily enough it never occurs to the writers to criticise those sitting on an internet site telling people how to live their lives (more time on social media beneficial for whom exactly?)

I bet rugby playing bloke is being financed somehow by someone/something else.

It would be interesting though to compare how much he earns after tax with part time hours. Possibly not all that much less...

This thread has actually made me come to a decision to stop posting on here and do something more productive with my time.

OnlyLovers · 30/10/2015 14:02

I bet rugby playing bloke is being financed somehow by someone/something else.

Do you? Hmm

Do you have nothing better to think about?

Crinkle77 · 30/10/2015 14:08

I am childless and would love to go part time if I could afford it.

welliesandleaves · 30/10/2015 14:09

It really depends on what he's going to be doing the rest of the time. I mean if he wants to work part time to lie on the sofa a couple of days a week watching telly and eating crisps I would think, in his twenties, he should be doing something more productive with his time.

But if he wants to go part time to write a book, get involved with charity work, look after an elderly parent, do some freelance work, explore setting up his own business or somesuch, and he can do so without looking for financial support or free accommodation from anyone else, then that's fair enough.

OnlyLovers · 30/10/2015 14:16

if he wants to work part time to lie on the sofa a couple of days a week watching telly and eating crisps I would think, in his twenties, he should be doing something more productive with his time.

Do you now? Grin What the feck has it to do with you?

welliesandleaves · 30/10/2015 14:17

It has nothing to do with me. I meant that's what I would be thinking in my own head, not what I would be advising the OP to take into account regarding his request.

beefthief · 30/10/2015 14:30

Crikey, OP. It's literally none of your business beyond whether or not you can accommodate the request. If he wants to spend half his life away from your petty, bossy, judgemental and antiquated values system, then more power to him.

NewLife4Me · 30/10/2015 14:36

Not odd at all, he can obviously afford to only work pt.
Maybe he enjoys his freedom and works to live rather than living to work.
He could be a carer with other responsibilities or just enjoy his hobbies and interests.
It's all about having a good work home balance and he seems to be happy doing it this way.
None of your business really, either grant the pt or not.

OnlyLovers · 30/10/2015 14:36

Well, your attitude is pretty judgemental. And the magnanimous bit at the end makes me laugh: if he wants to go part time to [do things that you personally consider acceptable] then that's fair enough.

Really, how very big of you.