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AIBU?

Friend wanting to be picked up from airport late at night

102 replies

BeadyEyes · 28/10/2015 11:05

A good friend of ours is coming back from a trip and his flight was supposed to land at 10:30pm. DH very kindly agreed to go and pick him up from the airport (10 miles away). Now it transpires that the plane is over an hour late and will be getting in close to midnight. We have two young kids one of whom is very unsettled at night. The reason a friend doesn't want to get a taxi is the cost (not huge). DH is too nice to refuse!

By way of background, both us and our friend and his wife (one child) earn about the same amount of money ( not much) but they also own (no mortgage) two impressively expensive houses while we are paying off a mortgage on a cramped little house...in other words, I'd just pay for a cab and wouldn't expect a lift!

AIBU to be pissed off at my friend for having the cheek to ask, and still expect to be picked up even when the flight is delayed?

OP posts:

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SoDiana · 28/10/2015 13:25

I'm wondering how your meagre earnings afford them two expensive houses lol.
You are oozing envy.

Ilikedmyoldusernamebetter · 28/10/2015 13:38

Badgers

In fact, she once got me out of bed to go and let her dog out for a wee and give him some food, because she was stuck at the hospital with her DH who had had a major operation.

Both her and her DH have done favours for us loads of times in the past too, moved house for me, bought me essential household items (without being asked) when I left my ex etc. it's what you do.

Those things are what friends do.

Picking somebody up at midnight on a week night from an airport when they are not staying with you and they could get a taxi for not too much money is what mugs do.

I do lots of favours for people, but being a capable adult's taxi service in the middle of the night solely because they cba or are too tight to get a taxi (when they are not starting nor ending their journey at my house, and there is no reason such as needing to accommodate wheelchairs or children needing car seats to make picking up any taxi off the rank a bad idea) is not one of them.

ragged · 28/10/2015 13:48

We live 4 hours (minimum) drive from the big London airports & I know people who have done the drive for visiting relatives & friends. Public transport links are pretty good to get here, btw.

I think my dad is a bit :( that I won't drive 8 hrs round trip to fetch him if he arrives to Heathrow. That would have been with my many children under 10 in the car.

Collaborate · 28/10/2015 13:49

I wouldn't have offered to give them lift in the first place. I would prefer to pay for someone to get a taxi than have to get up in the night to travel there and back myself. Their journey - their responsibility to sort it out. I'd do it for family visiting us, but they're not visiting you.

My parents had a thing about offering lifts to the airport at all hours, and expecting to be offered lifts in return. We just started getting taxis.

roaringfire · 28/10/2015 13:51

This is why they have more money than you. They ask for favours which save them money. Just make sure you ask for a similar money saving favour.

LovelyFriend · 28/10/2015 13:59

So you don't think your DH should honor his commitment to his very good friend because the plane is an hour late, you don't feel comfortable being alone in your house with your children after midnight in case they are unsettled, and you pay a mortgage on your tiny house while your friend doesn't pay a mortgage on his two mansions?

Wow what a minefield to be walking around with this maelstrom of feelings.

Next time suggest your "very good friend" jumps in a cab.

This time however your DH would be unreasonable to break his promise on the grounds you have laid out in this thread which kind of amount to "my wife doesn't think you are deserving of the help I am happy to offer you".

But you are of course free to keep on being pissed off about the situation.

PrimalLass · 28/10/2015 14:15

I would think your DH's friend is being a tosser tbh. He should just man up and get a taxi for goodness sake.

SurlyCue · 28/10/2015 14:24

Just thinking about this. I have a very large family and some have moved across to england to live. It is quite common for someone to send a group text or FB post around asking of anyone is able to do an airport run for them. Some of my friends do this too. Half 10 at night wouldnt be possible for me as i am a lone parent and DC in bed but others can and do do it. Ive never heard any grumbling about it based on mortages and income. Or any grumbling in fact. If we can, we just do it. The airport is 45-60 minutes away depending on time of day.

kali110 · 28/10/2015 14:42

Sounds like your dh is simply being a decent friend/human being.
My friend is not well off, however she still offes to drive me to docs, hospital and the shops. Never wants money from me.
It's what friends do for each other.
Your dp offered, as friends do.
It's not his friends fault that the plane is delayed.
Sounds more like resentment.

Johnny5isAlive · 28/10/2015 15:06

Are you sure friend still wants collecting? Have you seen the msg? Who's to say the friend didn't say "flight will be 1 he late so don't worry, I'll get a taxi" and your DH was the one who insisted?

cleaty · 28/10/2015 15:10

YABU. This is what friends do. I have given and picked up friends from the airport and vice versa. I don't care how much they earn.

coconutpie · 28/10/2015 15:20

YANBU. Collecting someone from an airport at 10.30pm at night is quite a big inconvenience as it is, but collecting at midnight is just ridiculous - the friend should be telling your DH that he'll sort a taxi as it is too late for your DH to be driving to the airport.

ScarletRuby2 · 28/10/2015 16:06

Thanks Badgers I'll remember that my friends and I are being mugs when we do favours like this for each other.

SilverShadows · 28/10/2015 16:14

We have had several lifts the the airport from friends (90 min round trip) and have also given several lifts over the years. To me, this is normal and duty free is bought as a thank you instead of having to pay airport parking/taxis.

I'd be pretty pissed off if I got off the plane to a text at midnight, having just been on a delayed flight, to be told my pre arranged lift wasn't coming.

Delays happen. it just means you owe/are owed a bigger favour for the next time

AwfulBeryl · 28/10/2015 16:15

This is the sort of favour I have done for friends and family and have also asked for.
It doesn't bother me, I quite like helping out people that I care about, it doesn't matter if they help me in return, I don't see it as a debt.
It is nice to know that you've got people who have got your back if you need it.

PuppyMonkey · 28/10/2015 16:27

This is the sort of thing DP does, he's always volunteering to do favours for others - but then, he moans about it to me about how difficult it's going to be for him etc.

Taking the neighbour's rubbish to a tip.
Volunteering to drive a hired van and help my sister move house.
Putting a new shed up for his mum.

All things he's volunteered to do this year which he has moaned about non-stop.

I've told him he's banned from doing any other favours for the next six months.

Jux · 28/10/2015 16:37

DH does this for anyone who flieS in to our local airport. I think you're being very unreasonable. People do that sort of thing for each other.

JoySzasz · 28/10/2015 16:51

So op what do you think now?

Lollipopgirl8 · 28/10/2015 16:54

Gosh
Typical pettiness from a female... I say this because of the reference to earnings/house values

Most men couldn't care less about this and your dh probably still quite happy to give the lift... Afterall you don't know when you might need the favour returned

Anastasie · 28/10/2015 17:01

What a bloody stupid post.

DamnBamboo · 28/10/2015 17:03

Has the OP even been back?

MoriartyIsMyAngel · 28/10/2015 18:33

Your DH offered, right? The friend didn't ask?

To be honest, he could turn up at 10:30pm then find it had been delayed by a couple of hours anyway! These things happen.

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GreyBird84 · 28/10/2015 19:35

OP i have many 'friends' who let em down. They seem to be Abel to justify it by saying my life is so rosey it's not a big deal when they cancel spa days the night before, don't book the table they said they would for my birthday.

I have organised 3 big friends birthday celebrations & no one other than my husband & family have done so for me.

It's hurts, it really fucking hurts. So don't think that material possessions & what you view as an easy life means it's ok to let a friend down because it's not.

AlwaysHope1 · 28/10/2015 19:53

How spiteful of op to be bitter about how much the friend earns. You had better hope you never need a favour in your life.

PrimalLass · 28/10/2015 20:00

I don't think the DH offered - he was asked. I'm not sure why the OP is getting such a hard time. The friend clearly thinks his own time and money is more valuable than the DH's if he would expect him to come out late at night to avoid a 10-mile taxi bill.

We live 10 miles from an airport and I would think someone had lost their marbles if they asked me to go and collect them.

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