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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think DH is too involved with FB

69 replies

Maybemable · 27/10/2015 19:30

I know this complaint is nothing new but I am feeling more and more annoyed with the time DH spends on FB. He is a musician and claims the 1000 plus FB friends he had are necessary for networking. In practice he is on there at least 10 X a day commenting often on childish posts by people in his network I've never heard of. Today's haul included a comment on a pic of a naked woman holding up a cat in front of her fanny. He rarely sees posts I make about funny things the kids have said or done because he's so busy with all his "friends." A mutual friend of ours who recently joined FB couldn't believe how active he was. It would be fine if I felt he was fully engaged with our family but I don't. He rarely makes things happen on his own intitiative and has to be reminded loads of times to do the things in his to do list. I feel he'd rather invest in a relationship with a thousand FB friends - many of them women than invest in his real world family. He does find his job boring so possibly FB is his outlet. He's going to be lucky to hold on to the job at this rate and that will be something else for me to sort out. I have asked him to cut down on his FB activity - he says he will but doesn't. Am concerned I will come across as controlling if I force the issue. It kind of is harmless - it just underlines my perception of him as a big kid who doesn't want to face his real life responsibilities.
I like FB too but I have far fewer friends - they are nearly all female and he knows most of them. Does anyone else have this problem?

OP posts:
Arfarfanarf · 29/10/2015 13:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyFucker · 29/10/2015 13:24

Arf, 'tis true

I am a poor misunderstood soul Halloween Wink Flowers

AnyFucker · 29/10/2015 13:26

There was a blog about me and my marriage wrecking ways once, apparently

Some lovely person informed me by pm. When invited to prove it's existence they were strangely reticent.

Arfarfanarf · 29/10/2015 13:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TattyDevine · 29/10/2015 13:42

Despite coming from a family of twats musicians, (though I am not one), I have forgiven AF for tarring musicians with that particular twatty brush due to her excellent description of "bath/bed" as "fresh hell". Never has a more apt description occurred on Mumsnet or anywhere.

BolshierAryaStark · 29/10/2015 15:22

I too am a twat, I don't drive an Audi though & certainly not a Citroën-mine is classed as a chavvy motor beneath a lot of MN posters but I love it...

FB is, I understand, quite addictive-your musician DP is talking bollocks about networking though.

ConfusedInBath · 29/10/2015 15:41

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IguanaTail · 29/10/2015 15:43

Bolshier - do you have a Nissan ?

BolshierAryaStark · 29/10/2015 16:34

Ha ha ha, no not a Nissan.

NotNob · 29/10/2015 16:50

What an excellent thread! I'm far too cowardly to wade in, other than to yell GO AF!! Smile

TooOldForGlitter · 29/10/2015 16:57

Is it, buy one MRA troll get one free day?

AnyFucker · 29/10/2015 17:13

CIB, just about every musician I have seen described on here (apart from the cases where folks have come on to say their musician is ok)

I can't be the only one w

AnyFucker · 29/10/2015 17:15

Shit, pressed post too soon

I can't be the only relationships regular who has noticed a link between being a musician and selfish, self obsessed and ego-fuelled behaviour

ThenLaterWhenItGotDark · 29/10/2015 17:23

It's because they're misunderstood tormented artists innit?

I lost my virginity to a drummer.

My dear friend's jazz musician ex husband didn't have sex with her for 15 years because he was so devoted to his art. Thankfully his soul seems to have recovered enough to fuck his 18 yr old backing singer.

AnyFucker · 29/10/2015 17:24

Erk

ConfusedInBath · 29/10/2015 17:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BolshierAryaStark · 29/10/2015 17:49

Yep there's a definite trend in the musicians described over on Relationships unfortunately Hmm

TheAnimatedRemainsOfMaryz · 29/10/2015 22:31

I doubt it's just musicians.
I'd say a few cyclists/motor cyclists/car fanatics and plane spotters are a tad twattish. Not to mention gym bunnies/online games addicts etc etc.

In my experience everyone has the capability of doing two things properly out of a possible three - work, family, hobby. When a hobby overtakes the other two, one has to give. If it's work that gives, then there is a financial hit, if it's family, well, that's where this type of thread comes in.

And of all the hobbies I know music seems to be the most likely to take over because it's so often an "almost" career. You know, "if I only just carry on with one more gig, one more tour, a bit more practice it will be all worthwhile in the end" [sigh]

Fairenuff · 01/11/2015 23:11

AF only 59?

Hee hee

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