To ditch this entire group of friends?

[LoveMenchies]

I've namechanged for this as it might make me identifiable.

I am friends with a group of mums from my DCs school. One mum in particular is very hard work, and gets very catty and nasty about others, with much foot stamping if she cannot have her own way. She falls out with people on a regular basis. Everyone seems to know what she is like and moans about her a lot.

About a year ago she got very cross with me as her DD didn't get invited to my DD's party. The girls don't particularly hang around with each other at school, although they did when they were younger, and DD only had a very small party at home with 3 friends invited.

Instead of talking to me about it, the mum phoned me up and was utterly vile to me on the phone. It was like a poison pen letter in phone call form. I tried to explain that it was nothing personal and that DD had chosen 3 friends only , but she just gave me an earful of abuse and told me not to speak to her again. That night, my new car was keyed in my driveway. As this woman had talked before about cars that she had keyed in the past I concluded that it must be her. She has since snubbed me and refused to talk to me, although does make horrible comments loudly in front of me.

I have told the others about how she behaved and although they were sympathetic and have continued moaning about her, she is still very much included in the group of friends.

We have a day out planned in a couple of weeks and this woman has been invited and tbh I know she will just be a total and utter cunt to me on the day out. And it's just dawned on me really that these friends, despite knowing what she is like, are not loyal to me in any way and are happy for her to just be vile to me.

AIBU to ditch the lot of them?

I would not be friends with people who had friends who went around keying cars.

In my experience of situations like these, most of the group just want a quiet life so put up with women who act like this while moaning behind their back. They also don't want to risk her wrath so stay quiet to protect themselves regardless of what she says to others.

This is different from a normal disagreement between friends, which mutual friends might want to stay out of. She was abusive and keyed your car! Over a children's party! People who know that and stay friends with her are not your friends. They are probably worried that her unstable behaviour will be turned on them next but that's not an excuse. They come across as condoning her behaviour.

I'm flabbergasted someone would rant down the phone and key a car because their DC wasn't invited to a party.

I would back away from the unhinged woman and her minions.

I would go on the day out and if she behaves badly I would call her out on it and just make her look really small and pathetic....

"why are you being so off, this isn't STILL about the birthday party thing is it. Perhaps you should get over it love!"

I'd put money on her backing down immediately. She behaves the way she does because people let her get away with it.

I disagree with you sweetheart. Someone who openly brags about keying cars and is prepared to rant at someone so viciously down the phone over such a trivial slight isn't someone likely to "back down immediately". It's much more likely that they will (a) relish the chance to be even more egregious and all the cowardly sheep will stand there letting her abuse the OP or (b) she will claim the OP has been horrible to her and will her campaign of verbal abuse and criminal damage will recommence because in her warped mind she will have a legitimate "reason".

I know people like this, they do not "back down", they just get more and more outrageous in their behaviour in order to get the pay off they want.

I really hope you haven't told other peple she has keyed yourcar without a shred of evidence.
Has she told you directly herself that she hs previously keyed cars? I so why on earth were you friends with her?

If you had said DS instead of DD I'd have thought you were talking about an ex friend of mine!

I had the same thing happen to me, so did just withdraw from the majority of the mums in that year level.

Fortunately for me it as an infant schools so only lasted 3 years.

People really are chickenshit though.