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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who is being u about the weekend?

36 replies

Vanillaradio · 27/10/2015 10:00

DPS have just been on the phone really excited. They have won a pass to the local theme park and fireworks display and want to take us and 2 year old ds. Choices are Friday, Saturday or Sunday. Friday we are working and can't get leave. My choice would be Saturday as Sunday would involve getting home at least an hour past ds's bedtime, maybe more if traffic bad, leaving him grumpy and tired for nursery on Monday. However dh plays sport every Saturday morning (he also plays once in the week) and is very inflexible about missing it. He thinks we should just go on Sunday and I am being pfb about ds' bedtime. Alternatively he says we should go on Saturday without him. Is he being u or am I being u asking him to go on Saturday and miss his sport?

OP posts:
EatShitDerek · 27/10/2015 10:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DisappointedOne · 27/10/2015 10:03

I'd go on Sunday.

VimFuego101 · 27/10/2015 10:04

Just go on Saturday without him. I'm sure your DS will have a good time either way, and I agree with you re Saturday being better for a late night so you can sleep in on Sunday.

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 27/10/2015 10:05

It really grates on me these bloody grown men who cant give up one day of sport for a one off family thing. Well actually chose not to. Does he never go to weddings which happen to be on a Saturday? Go on holiday?

Fieryfighter · 27/10/2015 10:06

Does the sport involve being part of a team/league or some such? If so I can imagine he'd want/need to go but if it's just a hobby and can easily be missed then I think he could miss just this once and have a nice family day.

That said, Sunday wouldn't be the end of the world, late bedtimes do happen sometimes for whatever reason and quite often the kids are totally fine the next day.

Only1scoop · 27/10/2015 10:07

Saturday without him.

He clearly isn't that fussed about going.

Have fun

Dungandbother · 27/10/2015 10:10

Sunday and as a special occasion let little one miss bedtime.
How about telling DH he has to deal with tired or grumpy child in return for not missing his sport?

Nataleejah · 27/10/2015 10:16

I'd say miss the bedtime. Not a disaster.

SarahManning · 27/10/2015 10:16

Go on Sunday. If you knew that DH already had a sporting commitment on the Saturday then why would you even suggest it? As long as he gives you the time you wish to pursue your hobbies then I don't think he's being unreasonable.

PrimalLass · 27/10/2015 10:16

Go on Sunday. Your DS can be late in bed for once - or put him in pjs when you get in the car and he might fall asleep.

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 27/10/2015 10:23

See this is what I dont get on here.
Children/wives/girlfriends have to be flexible and change things in order to accommodate a family day out. Yet grown men cannot for one minute be expected to miss their sport/hobby.
Its just weird.

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 27/10/2015 10:24

Maybe Sarah as its a one off opportunity and going on another day wouldnt be good for their childs routine? But thats not important obviously, the man not missing his sport should be the immediate priority at all times...

LadyLonely1 · 27/10/2015 10:28

I think you should really get over the one late night thing, at the same time your dh doesn't mind so Saturday would suit you both and your ds will enjoy either way.

Original poster
Vanillaradio · 27/10/2015 10:29

Coincidentally dh is not working Monday so going Sunday and letting him deal with probably grumpy ds Monday morning may well be the best idea. It's not a team or league more of a hobby. He played 4 or 5 times a week before he met me so did cut down a lot. And yes he will miss it for weddings, holidays etc but will make several pointed comments about how he has missed it. I unfortunately don't really get the time for hobbies these days! Mine was ou courses which we can't afford now even if I had the time!

OP posts:
PrimalLass · 27/10/2015 10:29

But sharonthewaspandthewineywall, they have nothing else on on the Sunday. Most children at that age would be perfectly fine with sleeping in the car and getting popped into bed. I did it at least once a week for years when mine were small.

Only1scoop · 27/10/2015 10:29

Sunday sounds like a plan then.

DeepBlueLake · 27/10/2015 10:30

Go Sunday, the sun will still come up the next morning if your DS is late to bed.

BertrandRussell · 27/10/2015 10:33

I can't see why this is even an issue. Go on Sunday. Put child in pyjamas for the journey home. Sorted.

But I have never understood why people let their child's "routine" rule them.

bumbleymummy · 27/10/2015 10:33

I would go on Sunday. They'll prob fall asleep in the car on the way back.

As for missing sport one day a week. DH isn't completely inflexible about his football day but he does hate to miss it and he doesn't get a chance to do much exercise during the week. I would rather work around him when the other available option just means a slightly later bedtime.

Fieryfighter · 27/10/2015 10:34

Actually do check the weather forecast, a theme park in the rain won't be a joy (my dc's and I are frequent theme park visitors) so if one of the days looks worse weather then go on the other. But otherwise yes Sunday seems best :-)

neolara · 27/10/2015 10:35

All of my dcs have been utterly terrified of fireworks at aged 2. Just something to consider..... (Sorry).

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 27/10/2015 10:35

So its something he wants to do rather than needs to commit to.
Equally Bert why should a grown mans pleasure dictate life?

middlings · 27/10/2015 10:38

Go on Sunday, bring DS's pjs, feed him a picnic tea before you leave. change him into said pjs, let him fall asleep and then pop him in bed once home. Yes that means no bath (if indeed you do that every night) but IME, foregoing that is better than late to bed.

Then, once you're settled down with a bottle of wine, have a word with DH about priorities......and the fact that you don't have time for hobbies. We had to have that conversation earlier this year after DH (who was training for a sporting event at the time and I was trying to figure out when I would get to exercise around his training) said "Why did you have to choose the same time as me to improve your fitness." Hmm He hasn't said that again.

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 27/10/2015 10:40

I wouldn't be precious about the Sunday night. He's two, it's not like he has school in the morning and added bonus that your DH isn't working Monday.

Depends very much on whether you want DH to go with you really.

Original poster
Vanillaradio · 27/10/2015 10:42

So, weather looking better on Sunday actually! As for being scared of fireworks we will see but hoping not, he's not usually worried about large noises etc. It's funny, I never thought I was particularly strict on routine just he can get grumpy if late to bed, maybe I should chill out more

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