Who is being u about the weekend?

36 replies

Vanillaradio · 27/10/2015 10:00

DPS have just been on the phone really excited. They have won a pass to the local theme park and fireworks display and want to take us and 2 year old ds. Choices are Friday, Saturday or Sunday. Friday we are working and can't get leave. My choice would be Saturday as Sunday would involve getting home at least an hour past ds's bedtime, maybe more if traffic bad, leaving him grumpy and tired for nursery on Monday. However dh plays sport every Saturday morning (he also plays once in the week) and is very inflexible about missing it. He thinks we should just go on Sunday and I am being pfb about ds' bedtime. Alternatively he says we should go on Saturday without him. Is he being u or am I being u asking him to go on Saturday and miss his sport?

OP posts:

DelphiniumBlue · 27/10/2015 10:42

Go on Saturday, after he's had his morning of sport. If you do a full day at a theme park, your DS will probably be too knackered to stay awake for the fireworks anyway.

BertrandRussell · 27/10/2015 10:43

"So its something he wants to do rather than needs to commit to.
Equally Bert why should a grown mans pleasure dictate life?"

It shouldn't. But nobody should have to change their plans because a toddler might be an hour later to bed. That's hardly "dictating life"!

SummerNights1986 · 27/10/2015 10:44

I don't think either of you are unreasonable tbh, just a different pov.

DH missing his sport as a one off for a family outing shouldn't be that big a deal if unavoidable. Neither is dc missing his bedtime - like others have said, put him in his Pyjamas before you leave and hope he sleeps in the car.

I would check the weather forecast and make the decision based on that. Theme parks and fireworks aren't as much fun when it's pissing down!

SummerNights1986 · 27/10/2015 10:46

I do agree with the fireworks thing though - I've not experienced many two year olds that enjoy them. Both of mine, whilst not terrified, were definitely less than keen at age 2 and 3.

I would take a pair of ear defenders/muffs just in case.

GruntledOne · 27/10/2015 10:47

Sharon, if it was a grown man's pleasure versus the family missing out on a treat, I'd say the family treat comes first every time. But this is grown man's pleasure (plus grown man getting some exercise and not letting down his team mates) versus child going to bed slightly late (but probably sleeping in the car instead). No contest, I'd say.

DinosaursRoar · 27/10/2015 10:47

go on Sunday, make DH deal with any problems with bedtime routine being fucked up. I was always strict about bedtime, because the alternative wasn't fun for anyone.

then I think you and DH need to have a sit down about a fair share of the 'me time' - it's not right he gets half a day off a week and you don't. If there's only 1 morning a week available time off, why should he get it every week just because his hobby is a sport? Every other week would be fairer and you get the other week's morning - if you chose to just sit in a coffee shop reading a paper with your time off, that's fine. Sport doens't trump other plans.

BathshebaDarkstone · 27/10/2015 10:57

I agree with Derek, mine very occasionally have a late night on a Sunday as we belong to a literary society and meetings are from 3 - 7, so by the time we get home it's sometimes 9, depending on where it's held.

Viviennemary · 27/10/2015 11:07

I don't think either one of you is being U. Either you both go on Sunday or go on your own with DS on Saturday. You have no arrangements for Sunday so that would seem the most sensible choice. Your DS isn't sitting an exam on Monday.

BertrandRussell · 27/10/2015 11:11

But I agree - there should be a discussion about time off. If he gets a half day at weekends and one evening a week, then so should you.

MrsTerryPratchett · 27/10/2015 13:59

I unfortunately don't really get the time for hobbies these days! Mine was ou courses which we can't afford now even if I had the time! So his hobbies are set in stone and can't be messed with and yours, well you don't get to have any. This come up in conversation, at all? When he's moaning about missing his...

BertrandRussell · 27/10/2015 14:06

It really needs to be two separate conversations. Don't muddy the waters by talking about the hour late bed time at the same time as you needing time off.

You are being unreasonable about the bedtime
You are SO NOT being unreasonable about wanting equal time off- even if all you do with it is have a lie in or read your book in a cafe.

Flip

1 2