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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

to ask what's the worst/silliest advice you've seen on here?

708 replies

Francoitalialan · 23/10/2015 12:36

MN is such a tremendous source of info but sometimes it goes wonky. What's the worst/silliest advice you've seen?

OP posts:
PerpendicularVincent · 23/10/2015 22:23

OP: DH has had an affair again, he's treating me very badly, is emotionally abusive and in touch with OWEN.

Everyone bar one poster: That's terrible, are you OK? Can you see a counsellor and ask him to leave?

One poster: Write him a letter telling him that what he's doing is like death by 1000 cuts.

LIKE THAT WILL HELP

PerpendicularVincent · 23/10/2015 22:23

OWEN = OW. I have no idea who Owen is....

Devora · 23/10/2015 22:25

I'll probably get flamed all over again for this, but there was one thread in which the OP had had a big scrap with her dh, during which she gave him a shove and he fell off the bar stool. Cue hundreds of posters telling her she is abusive, she should be on her knees begging her dh's forgiveness, she should move out while she undergoes anger therapy, she should ask SS to get involved to ensure her dc's safety...

post · 23/10/2015 22:25

Oh, that hilarious hand dryer/ fishwife thread! But not only was the very reasonable op told she she should have taken shouty aggressive woman for a cup of tea to talk about her problems. She was also held to be unreasonable for using the dryer because she could have just dried her hands on her coat Grin

MrsDeVere · 23/10/2015 22:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LynetteScavo · 23/10/2015 22:27

Moln, that might have been me Blush...I did pass massive (and I mean massive) clots and had loads of bleeding, but had a positive ending. The scan was the biggest shock of my life. But I totally realise not everybody's as lucky as me, so avoid those threads.

snicks1977 · 23/10/2015 22:29

Someone who told a lovely lady that on finding photographs of her DP (and now ex I hope) with another woman over a course of their entire relationship spanning 14 years that this wonderful strong woman should deal with the fact affairs happen everyday and get over it

Dollymixtureyumyum · 23/10/2015 22:31

It's when an Op has posted she is having issues with a neighbour harrassing them or when an OP says she has been shouted at or a stranger been rude
Reply - they prob have mental health problems Halloween Hmm
No they are prob just twats Grin
As someone with mental health issues and is not a twat (well not most of the time anyway Halloween Grin) It makes my blood boil.

Moln · 23/10/2015 22:37

Really LynetteScavo? That's amazing, sadly not in my case, really wish it had been. I think at such an emotional time it's very easy to say the wrong thing

gandalf456 · 23/10/2015 22:40

Centerparcs are charging over 6,000 in the summer holidays. It's a disgrace and should not be allowed

Well, what do you expect, it's supply and demand. If you don't like it, don't go. Holidays are a luxury and there are poor people in Africa , you entitled bitch. I'd pay it. In fact, I want to pay double to support the travel industry because they're struggling because no one goes on holiday apart from in August

LetGoOrBeDragged · 23/10/2015 22:47

I'm going to defend some of this advice. I once posted a really honest warts and all thread and then showed the person I had posted about (on the advice of mn). It was really satisfying actually - a virtual punch on the nose that they much deserved. I'm not sorry I did it, although I would add that it isn't the best advice for everyone.

I'm also going to qustion the annoyance with the 'some kids have weak enamel' thing. Obviously sugar consumption leads to tooth decay but you can take 2 kids, give them an identical diet and one may have better/worse teeth than the other. Surely that's because one of them has more/less resilient teeth. The only way to avoid that is to not eat any sugar, which is almost impossible. Why does it affect people's teeth differently?

The spa day/leave lazy fucker dh to it, advice annoys me. You will still come home to the same arsehole and could you really relax having left said lazy arsehole in charge of your kids?

I am also irritated by the 'get a job' advice. Yes, because there are so many of those around, esp if you've been a sahp for a while.

alphabettyspaghetty · 23/10/2015 22:48

THe ones where the OP has no money for a week and someone helpful comes along and says oh have you set up a ebay account and ebay what you can. Well for a start ebay won't release funds for the first 180 days without a 30 day waiting period. Then how are they supposed to post the items when postage costs are already expensive? Gets my goat

CharityBarnum · 23/10/2015 23:01

Looking for money down the sofa has always completely baffled me.

Cash is kept in a purse, in a bag, or in a pocket. How the actual fuck does it make its way to the sofa crevices?

Mind you, I seethe when Amazon temporarily hold a pound from my bank account

SistersOfPercy · 23/10/2015 23:06

Post, I had forgotten the wipe your hands on your coat bit. Brilliant stuff that.

As for Spar, have to confess I'd rather go to Spar than a bloody spa any day of the week. At least I could buy a large bottle of something nice and chocolate Grin

BakeMe · 23/10/2015 23:15

Moln, I can sadely second that, but I think more so on Netmums!

I was miscarrying at 10 weeks, bloods weren't doubling, no fetal pole etc, heavy clotting etc and everyone was insisting I shouldn't lose hope and that because I miscarried before hand, my dates could be out (Despite me getting a positive 8 weeks before that).

One person even called me insensitive for posting in MC section because I was posting where women 'were really experiencing a loss, not a threatened MC'.

Who'd have known Netmums can be even harsher than MN... I think people are just thicker on that side of the pond (I.e Internet).

OfficeGirl1969 · 23/10/2015 23:16

In another lifetime, under another name......
I started a thread trying to get help and support in the middle of a breakdown. I was desperate, distressed and utterly miserable because I was falling apart and had lost control of myself and was terrified I was going crazy.

A poster told me I was selfish, had behaved dreadfully and that everyone I was involved with was better off without me around them. I can't bear to remember how it made me feel.

Sometimes people need to think a little before they flame posters. A few unkind words knocked me back horribly at a time that I was fragile and just wanted help.......

I've learned a lesson, and stick to the light hearted stuff.....

PunkrockerGirl · 23/10/2015 23:17

God yes, give me a lovely Spar day every time Halloween Grin

dustarr73 · 23/10/2015 23:17

Song lyrics (Blurred Lines) give MN the rage.I don't want understand why.Then they go back eons and use our modern times for songs that are not relevant now.

fearsomepixie · 23/10/2015 23:24

With so many of these, the complete opposite is also often seen, and equally ridiculous. For example this from up thread: *My child was with my ex at the weekend and didn't have a great time. I'm thinking of cutting all contact and refusing for my child to see him.

Do it. Stop all contact. Don't let your ex anywhere near your child.* I have seen. But I have also seen "My ex is really quite horrible to our dc, he's often not fed them because there's no food in the house, they come back with cuts and bruises which he says are from falling over but I have witnessed him hurting them myself when he doesn't realise I can see. I want to take him to court"

Reply : "your children have a right to see their father, just because you don't like his parenting doesn't mean you can take them away from him . He's probably stressed at being under your scrutiny all the time."

It's why I don't pay much attention to anyone who says "the MN party line is xyz" because there isn't usually a total consensus. A lot of ridiculous advice though!

LetGoOrBeDragged · 23/10/2015 23:30

I've just read the thread about a woman being pressured to go into work on her Mat leave for a kit day. Boss doesn't want her to bring her baby. She has been advised to leave her child with a total stranger. So I am nominating that as most stupid advice.

AdjustableWench · 23/10/2015 23:41

OP: I'm unemployed and miserable and six stone overweight.
Poster: I've never been more than half a pound over eight stone. Stop stuffing your face, you greedy pig. No one will ever employ an ugly fatty like you.

OP: My kids are rude and behave badly. I know it's normal at their age, but it's so frustrating.
Poster: I've never had children, or indeed met any children ever, but if I did have children I wouldn't put up with the slightest infringement of my very strict rules, so you're obviously doing everything wrong.

DixieNormas · 23/10/2015 23:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Masterpiece1 · 23/10/2015 23:47

No is a complete sentence.

Why did you post this, OP?

LunchpackOfNotreDame · 23/10/2015 23:49

I think it is wrong and dangerous that suicidal posters are encouraged to post on Mumsnet and rely on support from people here. I wish HQ would sort this out.

I'm currently mid wobble and desperately hanging on with dh's help til my psych appointment in the week. I started a thread on chat to have a brain fart, not expecting anyone to comment, but blown away by support shown to me.

However I feel obligated to update the thread to 'repay' their kindness when I really just want to ignore the fact I'm feeling like this and feel guilty for posting elsewhere on mumsnet but not updating the thread.

It's an odd position to be in but in a long winded way I agree with you

FloraFurball · 24/10/2015 00:16

LetGo I agree with you on the weak enamel thing. Some kids really do. I had chicken pox when I was a few weeks old. When my teeth came through they all had a yellow line across them, which according to both GP and dentist was a result of CP. Despite regular brushing I had horrendous tooth decay which centred on that yellow line. I had to have most of my milk teeth removed under GA, which was horrific. My adult teeth are great though. Very few fillings. They were subject to the same parental teeth brushing regime and lack of sweets, fizzy drinks and sugary shite.