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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

is this worth complaining about? suspected of shoplifting in JD sports. <classy>

106 replies

TheBitchOfDestiny · 22/10/2015 18:15

was in town with the 3 dcs yesterday. we had just been to the library and I had their books in the baby's nappy bag

oldest DC wanted to go in JD, so we had a wander round, it was packed, didn't buy anything, i just wanted to get out as I hate the place

the alarm went off as we walked out and a staff member who was stood near the doors shouted me to come back. I did so then he asked to search my bags. i was a bit taken aback, so I let him. obviously nothing was found. I hadn't bought anything from anywhere, so i think it was our library books perhaps hadn't been deactivated. I was really embarrassed as it was so busy, people were obviously looking at us and the bloke didn't even apologise.

thinking about it now I obviously knew I hadn't accidently stolen anything Hmm so think maybe I shouldn't have gone back, or refused to let them search my bags. but imagine if I had ended up with security chasing me or something, or if they had called the police, I would have died of embarrassment.

I also cant help but wonder if I look like the kind of skank that would nick from JD sports (or anywhere) Hmm

I told my friend today and she was horrified and thinks I should complain. i dislike the shop anyway, every time I have bought stuff from there (and have spent loads as have sneaker obsessed dcs) the staff are disdainful, seem to think they are something great and are usually far too cool to actually deign to serve you.

anyway, will put it to the aibu jury, should I complain?

OP posts:
Janeymoo50 · 22/10/2015 22:14

It always happens to coming out of Primarni.

Janeymoo50 · 22/10/2015 22:15
  • happens to me
thefutureofpolitics · 22/10/2015 22:24

You should have said, "Do I look like a fecking chav?!" But seriously, it is better to just let it go rather than letting it wind you up. He was just doing his job and you were unfortunate. A few months ago I was using a handbag which set off alarms everywhere and I never got to the bottom of why, that was majorly embarrassing!

DontHaveAUsername · 22/10/2015 22:24

Just refuse permission to search your bags if it bothers you so much. Simples.

reni2 · 22/10/2015 22:27

I had a bag that set off alarms for a bit, walked into shops, said look, it goes weee weee weee every time. Walking out they didn't stop me once.

Witchend · 22/10/2015 22:30

If the alarm goes off on the way out I stop, turn round and approach security to find the issue. Thought that was fairly sensible.

dayswithaY · 22/10/2015 22:54

Hilarious that you think all shoplifters are skanky. When I worked in retail it was every kind of person you can imagine. Nice home counties type older ladies, middle class mums with their teenage kids in tow. After a while you realise nearly everyone is at it. The security guard you encountered has seen it all, you probably do look like a shoplifter - everyone does. You did the right thing, a refusal would make you look guilty. It's over, forget it now.

Axekick · 23/10/2015 06:55

I have worked in a few shops, there is no set 'type'.

It had nothing I do with how 'skanky' you look.

Quite honestly I get followed around the supermarket all the time. It's. Branch of morrisons and I know they have a high amount of thefts. However their security guard spends so much time following me and dh it surprises me they catch anyone.

He isn't even sneaky, everytime we get to the end of an aisle he is lurking at the end of it. I started saying 'hello, how are you?' Quite loudly and smiling. I feel like he is an old friend.

It doesn't bother me in the slightest and I find it quite funny and it happens whether in I go in, in my tricky bottoms or in my work suit.

SapphireSeptember · 23/10/2015 07:37

RiceBurner, if a shop banned me for doing nothing wrong I'd kick up a fuss! I think that's disgraceful, basically they've banned her for being young. Banning means sod all anyway, my brother was banned from somewhere for shoplifting once and ended up working there a few years later.

There's a Superdrug two doors down from where I work, and I'm a make up junkie, so I will go for a wander round the make up bit on a regular basis. Rarely buy anything though, I get most of my stuff online as I'm fed up of buying something and having to take it back because someone has used it in the shop (yuck.)

Anyway, the library books round here were always setting off the alarms in Sainsbury's, they changed the settings and it seems to have stopped, but all we had to do was tell the security guard. I've had clothes I'd just bought set the alarms off too, which I found amusing, as I work there and was wearing my uniform at the time. Grin

I did accidentally pinch something from Poundland once and took it straight back, (it had fallen into my bag and was exactly the same as something I had just bought in Poundland.) The lad I gave it to looked quite shocked I'd brought it back!

teawamutu · 23/10/2015 08:26

I once walked five paces into Mango on Oxford Street, changed my mind, turned to leave and set off the alarm. I'd touched nothing and the security guard who'd been within six feet of me the whole time STILL insisted on turning out my entire (massive, messy) bag. These days I prob would object under those circumstances.

limitedperiodonly · 23/10/2015 08:50

That happened to me in Mango on Regent Street tea. A security tag had been left on. It wasn't so much that I objected to the security guard stopping me, it was the way he did it.

He followed me into the street shouting at me. When I stopped he demanded to know why I hadn't stopped when the alarm went off. I said I'd heard it was didn't think it was me - why would I? I'd paid for my things and there were other people going out of the door at the same time. That's a shoplifter's trick btw - following someone innocent out of the shop and moving off sharply while they stop.

I followed him back and he unpacked my bags in the front of the shop with everyone looking. He found the tag and waved it at me and I showed him my receipt. He didn't apologise or take the item back to the counter to have it removed. He said I had to go and queue up all over again because he couldn't leave the door.

I'd been docile up until then but at that point I asked another assistant to get the manager. She was polite and apologetic - she explained that shoplifting was a problem but the way I'd been treated was completely wrong.

GirlOverboard · 23/10/2015 09:02

YABU. If the alarm goes off, you stop, turn around and look for the nearest employee. They spend 30 seconds checking your bag (or not) and you go on your way. It's really not a big deal. It's nice for the shop assistant to say 'thanks' or 'sorry' or whatever, but it's not actually necessary (unless they've forgotten to take a tag off an item). The security guard has done nothing wrong and I think it would be unfair on him to make a complaint.

teawamutu · 23/10/2015 09:07

limited, it must have been that store (was years ago) - wonder if it was the same guard? He was a complete arse about it. Haven't been back on principle.

limitedperiodonly · 23/10/2015 09:22

He was like Robocop tea. No, I haven't gone in there since, either.

tibbawyrots · 23/10/2015 10:21

I went into Tesco once as a few people were leaving with trollies. The alarm went off and the security man chased after people going in to the store with empty trollies ignoring those leaving... Hmm

WorraLiberty · 23/10/2015 10:45

Of course triggering the alarm is a good enough reason for a security guard to detain someone until the Police arrive, if they've refused to open their bags or return to the store.

Even if the alarm was triggered by accident, the security guard isn't going to know it at that point.

I don't think there's a judge or police officer in the land who would say, the security guard was wrong.

Otherwise there's no point in having alarms if people refuse to be searched when they're triggered.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 23/10/2015 10:48

The security guard had to find out why the alarm had been triggered - maybe he was too blunt about it, but maybe people don't realise he's talking to them unless he does shout. He was right to ask to see the OP's bag too - how else is he supposed to find genuine shoplifters if he doesn't stop people when they trigger the alarm, and check their bags?

But once he discovered he was mistaken, he should have apologised for the misunderstanding. So TheBitchOfDestiny is not being entirely unreasonable, imo.

reni2 · 23/10/2015 10:55

I think it is up to the shops to fix their faulty alarm systems if they get set off by key fobs and library books. As a pp mentioned, Sainsbury's were doing it were (s)he is. I will be searched just as soon as our local Tesco makes sure theirs doesn't go off wrongly all the time. It really is like car alarms, absolutely nobody checks those now, because of the high rate of false alarms.

WorraLiberty · 23/10/2015 10:59

I will be searched just as soon as our local Tesco makes sure theirs doesn't go off wrongly all the time.

Or until the Police arrive, if you've been detained by the security guard.

StrangeLookingParasite · 23/10/2015 11:05

All those saying he was just doing his job, there are ways to accomplish the same thing without being an arse about it.
I was accused of shoplifting, in a computer store, where the yobby ignorant manager shouted 'check her bag, check the bag' across the store. It was a small cosmetic store bag, I'd bought perfume somewhere else, and of course, I had not stolen anything. never set foot in there again - it was accusatory and humiliating for no reason at all.
There is no need to go straight to maximum humiliation, and you should be a bloody sight surer that someone's actually pinched something before making loud, public accusations.

reni2 · 23/10/2015 11:06

It might be good if they did start calling the police in our local Tesco. I'm sure they'd be told to fix their alarms promptly, can't see the police coming out for the 14th faulty one in a day, people just walk on because it has become so normal.

spidey66 · 23/10/2015 11:11

It's happened to me-the last time I'd bought some perfume in The Perfume Store but the security tag hadn't been removed properly and it set off alarms in WHSmiths and Boots. I was happy enough to let them look-they're just doing their job, and I knew I hadn't shoplifted.

Get a grip.

kali110 · 23/10/2015 11:15

Mine goes off whenever i go to john lweis, hmv or tkmaxx. WaS told that they think that there maybe tags in lining of my designer bags Hmm
Also if you buy anything from hmv the tags can make other shops alarms go off! In my town the alarms go off so regulary
They don't even bat an eyelid!
It was embarassing to begin with but i never blamed them when they asked to check my bags, they were just doing their jobs

limitedperiodonly · 23/10/2015 11:16

Sometimes the police don't arrive. They consider shoplifting to be a low priority unless they are having a blitz when they send vans round high density shopping areas such as Oxford Street to arrest people.

Store staff can detain you under certain circumstances, but if the police aren't going to attend they probably won't bother. Holding someone when you do not have the powers of arrest and search is a serious business - as it should be. Even though the police have those powers, they still have to be careful.

It's why so many shops operate civil recovery systems and bannings. They are entitled to do that.

My husband is a retailer so I'm no fan of thieves. But I'm also no fan of heavy-handed treatment, idle threats and the idea that if a security guard just stops you because he thinks you've pinched something, the poor guy is just doing his job.

reni2 · 23/10/2015 11:19

Shops are just putting security guards next to a faulty and cheap alarm system and broken cameras because they trust customers will be voluntarily searched. The poor security guards are stressed and under an enormous amount of pressure whilst having no legal right to search anybody. They also know police will start giving the shop a warning on the umpteenth call out for no reason. Therefore, the guards need to try to either intimidate or shame costumers into these searches.

Dear Tesco, Mango and JD sports, fix your security systems so that an alarm really does mean reasonable suspicion and don't rely on the costumer to self-search. We already self scan our shopping since you have sacked most shop assistants, let's not take the role of shop security, too.