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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

is this worth complaining about? suspected of shoplifting in JD sports. <classy>

106 replies

TheBitchOfDestiny · 22/10/2015 18:15

was in town with the 3 dcs yesterday. we had just been to the library and I had their books in the baby's nappy bag

oldest DC wanted to go in JD, so we had a wander round, it was packed, didn't buy anything, i just wanted to get out as I hate the place

the alarm went off as we walked out and a staff member who was stood near the doors shouted me to come back. I did so then he asked to search my bags. i was a bit taken aback, so I let him. obviously nothing was found. I hadn't bought anything from anywhere, so i think it was our library books perhaps hadn't been deactivated. I was really embarrassed as it was so busy, people were obviously looking at us and the bloke didn't even apologise.

thinking about it now I obviously knew I hadn't accidently stolen anything Hmm so think maybe I shouldn't have gone back, or refused to let them search my bags. but imagine if I had ended up with security chasing me or something, or if they had called the police, I would have died of embarrassment.

I also cant help but wonder if I look like the kind of skank that would nick from JD sports (or anywhere) Hmm

I told my friend today and she was horrified and thinks I should complain. i dislike the shop anyway, every time I have bought stuff from there (and have spent loads as have sneaker obsessed dcs) the staff are disdainful, seem to think they are something great and are usually far too cool to actually deign to serve you.

anyway, will put it to the aibu jury, should I complain?

OP posts:
beetrootpickle · 22/10/2015 18:37

So what would be the point of security guards and alarms, then?

You know, if they have to ignore you when the alarm sounds, in case it's a false alarm and they might offend you? Confused

Passmethecrisps · 22/10/2015 18:37

I have a pal whose toddler pinched a tester lipstick in boots. He only noticed when he saw people looking and noticed that she had been quietly painting herself/eating it all the way down the street.

He tried returning it but they let him keep it Grin

Original poster
TheBitchOfDestiny · 22/10/2015 18:39

DS2 managed to sneakily grab a carton of juice in poundland yesterday and I didn't notice until we left

oh god LOL

my friends dd stole a bracelet from topshop when she was 3, she proudly presented it to her mum when they were half way up the street and they had to go back and return it Grin

OP posts:
KKCupCakes · 22/10/2015 18:41

This isn't helpful really, but may put it into context a bit for you OP. This incident reminded me of something that happened when I was about 17. I had a bought a bar of CDM from Woolworths sigh and put it in my inside pocket, it was a Malcolm X silk effect bomber jacket (pls don't judge!) WITH the receipt. I walked through the shop to exit the other end to catch the bus and the Security guard stopped me. He just stood there looking at me with his hand out. I was a bit bemused and so tried to walk round him. He blocked my path and told me if I didn't hand 'it' over he would call the police. 'Hand what over?' I asked, honestly quite bemused. The manager then came over asked what had happened and the security guard told him I'd stolen something and had it in my top pocket. 'Ahhh no, I've actually paid for that and I've got the receipt, want to see it?' I said. They both looked at me utterly incredulously and the Manager told the guard to call the Police. So I went and sat down in the Security office with the guard chatting quite happily with him, he was starting to look a bit concerned actually as I was totally unworried as I knew I had done nothing wrong. Couple of policepersons turned up and the guard told me at that point to turn out my pockets. So I did, £1.20p, bar of chocolate and 1 receipt for said bar of chocolate ... The WPC asked me if I had anything else, I said no and turned my pockets inside out. She looked at the guard and to his credit he did say I'd offered to show them the receipt but they had thought I was 'giving them cheek' The Manager and the guard got a flea from the policeman and I got a lift home in a police car and so saved my bus fare. :D always remembered that lol

Lurleene · 22/10/2015 18:41

I know what you mean, it's not what he did but the way he did it.

Lots of times I have set off an alarm when, for example, a tag has been left on, but the shop staff are usually friendly about it and approach you from the point of view that a mistake has been made, not automatically assume you are a shoplifter. That's fine.

Once I set off alarm ( with a library book it turns out) and the Security Guard and Shop Manager were already sure I was a shop-lifter and were trying to manhandle me out to the back of the shop. That was hugely humiliating in front of everyone. It still pisses me off now and I wish I had complained.

Nonnainglese · 22/10/2015 18:41

What's your justification for complaining? He was doing his job.
Clearly you're a frequent customer as you say you've spent loads there so

KitKat1985 · 22/10/2015 18:43

Well, he would have been a pretty rubbish security guard to not search your bag after you had set the alarm off wouldn't he, so I'm not sure what you could complain about? Although I admit an apology for the inconvenience or something afterwards would have been nice.

AdjustableWench · 22/10/2015 18:44

The first time it happened to me (about 30 years ago) I was embarrassed. But it's happened so many times since that I no longer care. I've never stolen anything so I know I'm innocent, and usually it's because the shop has forgotten to remove a security tag. Happened with a piece of steak in Aldi just last week. No big deal.

Original poster
TheBitchOfDestiny · 22/10/2015 18:44

haha kkcupcakes that's brilliant Grin

I know exactly the Malcolm x bomber jacket you mean. was it in the 90's? and there was a big "X" on the back. I had a "trip to eclipse" one Blush

I loved woolworths too

OP posts:
DingbatsFur · 22/10/2015 18:48

I once as a student got pulled up by a security guard in a bedding and soft furninshing shop that I happened to be in with my boyfriend's parents. I was taken into an office and searched.
I was horrified.
All I had in my pockets were tissues.
How was I supposed to shoplift a duvet or a cushion?
This summer my kids wanted to go in the same shop while we waited for bus. We went in and my youngest accidentally covered some stock with snot like goo from an dinosaur egg. Oops (really not deliberate).
Sometimes revenge takes 20 years.

laughingatweather · 22/10/2015 18:49

He was doing his job - you set the alarm off, he investigated and there was no problem so you went on your way.

There's nothing to apologise for.

KKCupCakes · 22/10/2015 18:51

LOL Destiny Yup early 90's, I wore it with pride with my TUK brothel creepers, my back to front Kangol flat cap and my snap back bracelets ... Oh lordy! Yeah Woolies, Pick N Mix will never be the same :(

LeftMyRidingCropInTheMortuary · 22/10/2015 18:53

King Joffrey - you are on the same page as me when it comes to jobsworths with a little power!!!!! (See my thread about the bus driver!)

reni2 · 22/10/2015 18:54

I have never shoplifted. If an alarm goes off (happened a couple of times) I just continue walking. Once I had a security guard coming after me, I told him I hadn't stolen anything and walked on. He just went back. I don't even know if they have a right to search bags, it just didn't occur to me to let them Hmm.

RiceBurner · 22/10/2015 19:04

YABU.

FYI, library books can set off some alarms. (I know this from personal experience!)

I have also set off alarms when check out staff haven't taken anti-theft tags off. (Eg a man's razor, a box of wine.) If this happens, I always go straight back inside and let them check my bags. (Never had any probs.)

I hate it when ppl go out and set the alarm off and don't hesitate/turn back, as then I am unsure whether or not I shd attempt a citizen's arrest! (I usually think well if the shop can't be bothered to chase them then I shdn't worry!)

My daughter, (when aged ~20/a student), told me she had been ordered back into Superdrug once ... told to empty her pockets etc. She'd been browsing alone, looking a bif scruffy probably, and had then left witout buying anything. So they suspected that she had pocketed some makeup items(s). But shd hadn't. So they didnt find anything. But instead of apologising, (as she was dragged back in front of quite a crowd ... and she went willing with them as she was shocked and mortified), they told her she was banned! I was thinking that was rather rude of them, but I guess they do get a lot of (young) shoplifters and it's up to them who they want in their shop? (She might have bought something next time, so their loss?)

reni2 · 22/10/2015 19:33

I don't see why I shouldn't just walk on, I haven't stolen anything and having my bags searched by a random stranger is unpleasant and a waste of my and random stranger's time. If they want to call the police they are welcome, but the two times I set off an alarm they didn't so I walked out like someone who hasn't stolen anything which is exactly what I was.

wasonthelist · 22/10/2015 19:40

I occasionally set off shop alarms. Never once been challenged. I have no clue why it happens, but as I don't steal stuff, I'm not really that bothered or interested.

wasonthelist · 22/10/2015 19:43

Oh and if the alarm is triggered by something I've just bought, there is no chance of me turning on my heal and going back - not my problem.

hefzi · 22/10/2015 19:57

I set off every shop alarm going: I assume that either in my handbag (I always use the same one) or my purse (ditto) there is a security tag - but I'm damned if I can find them.

I've never shop-lifted anything (except as a two year old, when I was detained by my grandmother close to the exit of a toyshop, and made to open the fist I was concealing a toy dinosaur in: she then marched me back to the counter, and made me apologise to the assistant and asked them not to call the police...) but it doesn't bother me to open my bags and prove it. Those devices are there to try to minimise wastage through shop-lifting, and help keep the prices down. I honestly don't know why anyone would be rude or aggressive or defensive over a security guard trying to do their job.

Plus, I suspect even shop-lifters claim that they haven't taken anything and try to brazen it out...

tobysmum77 · 22/10/2015 20:03

I had a weird shop lifting experience in either JD or sports direct I can't remember which. I was buying a pair of trainers for dh. The bloke on the cash desk tried to convince me to have a reusable carrier bag. I was Confused as I didn't need a bag.

He then got really agitated and had to phone the security guard at the bottom.

Methinks they have a lot of problems with shoplifters.

ChilliAndMint · 22/10/2015 20:03

I go searched in Asda a while back..the security guard was very professional about the whole thing.

I'd self scanned clothing items and there were security tags I was unaware of.

Everything resolved in a matter of moments, no big fuss made.

I'm thankful the security staff were doing there job ,because shoplifting costs the consumer as well as the trader.

I'm not a fan of supermarkets or most big chains but neither am I a snob about peoples choice of shop.

I also set of the alarm in peacocks after buying some jeans from the market...yes, tag still in said jeans.

Unless the security staff deliberately set out to belittle you or make a humungous show of searching your bags , I'd forget about the matter. It's not like there was a personal attack on you, staff just doing the job they were paid to do.

DoveCazzoEIlMioCaffe · 22/10/2015 20:07

At my local Tesco Express the alarm goes off with just about every other customer - apparently, according to the very tired looking staff, some car keys set it off. I can't help thinking that is a ridiculous state of affairs - they don't even look up from what they're doing when it goes off. Shoplifter's charter really isn't it.

ouryve · 22/10/2015 20:09

DH set off the alarms in M&S, once. It turned out to be something that he was returning to Game - he'd bought it online and it had an activated tag still in the box.

These things happen. The technology is pretty basic. Your friend IBU to put the idea of complaining into your head.

bigbluebus · 22/10/2015 20:09

I was only just telling DH about how I had bought a box of hair colour in our local Superdrug store today and because I had forgotten to take a carrier bag, I squeezed my purchase into my handbag. It was only about 3 steps from the till to the door and the alarm went off. I immediately turned around and went back to the till where the asssistant was already apologising profusely for not having deactivated the security tag properly.
This has happened to me so many times, I have lost count but I cannot imagine why anyone would think of carrying on walking and not taking the item back to the till to get it deactivated even though you know you haven't done anything wrong.
The Security guard should have apologised OP but I don't think you will get anywhere by complaining.

diddl · 22/10/2015 20:10

I bought some jeans in Next, the alarm went off as I left.

I stopped, looked back, no one around so I carried on.

Packed bags, flew home & yup, the tag was still on the jeans!!

How I wish that someone had stopped me!