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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To buy 2nd hand clothes for my children?

83 replies

slightlyconfused85 · 22/10/2015 13:42

Just had a bit of a friendly disagreement with a friend. I told her I had spied a couple of bundles on gumtree that will be perfect for my daughter next year and I'm going to get them - 5 h&m summer dresses for £5 and 2 Next jumpers for £3 in perfect condition. She grows like a weed and she wears things out quickly so I resent spending a lot of money on day to day items. I always buy her new shoes and underwear, but if I see second hand bits in charity shops or gumtree that are in good nick I'm always pleased. I have a baby DS and I have also started picking him up some little charity shop bargains of good quality brands. They both get new items bought for them from grandparents and of course I buy the odd new thing too.

She thinks I'm being unreasonable to buy my children second hand clothes as 'who knows who has worn them'. She also said no one she knows would do this. Is this very unusual or indeed unreasonable? I don't think it is at all but interested to see if others do. The way I look at it it's more money to save for them, or to spend on days out/activities.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 22/10/2015 13:44

She is being daft and unreasonable.

AbeSaidYes · 22/10/2015 13:44

she sounds like the weird one.
most of my son's clothes are second hand. Sometimes third and fourth hand.

Sighing · 22/10/2015 13:45

YANBU "who knows who has worn them"? The implications of that are terrifying. Children. Children have worn them.

Original poster
slightlyconfused85 · 22/10/2015 13:46

I think she means anyone could have been sick on them/dropped stuff on them but as I pointed out to her, washing machines are pretty good these days.

OP posts:
Jeffreythegiraffe · 22/10/2015 13:47

She's bonkers.

HippyChickMama · 22/10/2015 13:48

YANBU, I buy loads of dd's clothes second hand (ds not so much because it's not as easy to find 9-10yrs in decent condition, jeans with no knees anyone?). But for dd who is 2 it means I can buy quirky dresses rather than whatever is in the shops, it's cheaper and it's better for the environment.

Sighing · 22/10/2015 13:49

It might be what she meant. She might have some serious prejudice to work through. I used reusable nappies, so perhaps I place more trust in washing things. Is she a wear once & dispose it person?

AbbeyRoadCrossing · 22/10/2015 13:49

I mainly get bundles off Facebook etc and hand me downs because
A. Children's clothes are expensive
B. They wear them for 5 minutes

I also like to pass them on afterwards, seeing other friends babies in them is so cute!

The who knows who has worn them thing is weird. Either a child or no one. Just give em a wash before use.

Twindroops · 22/10/2015 13:50

She's an idiot. YANBU OP my children get new pyjamas for Christmas etc but are head to foot in second hand whenever possible!

doceodocere · 22/10/2015 13:51

To me, your attitude is perfectly sensible. My dc destroy clothing at an alarming rate and I couldn't possibly afford to buy new every time. But I have friends who consider it a matter of pride to dress their children in new, smart clothes. Most of these friends grew up in poverty or straightened circumstances and handmedowns and charity shops are things they want to leave in the past. I guess their kids' clothes are symbolic of their achievements in life.

Original poster
slightlyconfused85 · 22/10/2015 13:53

Thanks everyone I was sure I wasn't BU! I think she is a wear once and dispose yes - she's a good friend but we don't see eye to eye here! She has a lovely new baby same gender as the last one, he was a bit smaller than the first so she used this as a reason to go to a very expensive retailer and spend £300 on newborn clothes....

OP posts:
UmbongoUnchained · 22/10/2015 13:54

I personally don't do second hand, but there plenty of people who do and there's nothing wrong with that. Different views and all. Doesn't make her an idiot though, to all the PP...

SarahSavesTheDay · 22/10/2015 13:55

Your friend is thick.

LillyBugg · 22/10/2015 13:57

£300 on newborn clothes is unreasonable. And nuts. Lots of second half clothes in my house OP. It's quite normal behaviour!

SuburbanRhonda · 22/10/2015 13:58

Tbh I can't understand anyone who doesn't buy at least some children's clothes secondhand, unless they have more money than sense or are way too worried about what other people think.

SagaNorensLeatherTrousers · 22/10/2015 14:01

eBay bundles for the win!

NinaSimoneful · 22/10/2015 14:02

Lol, she's nuts! I have often picked up items for DD from charity shops for 50c; jeans, jumpers and a pair of Clarks shoes that she wore for a few months before she outgrew them.

And in my circle we pass around clothes all the time. She has loads of lovely stuff worn previously by a cousin or two. She had a designer tracksuit for a little while that she certainly wouldn't have had otherwise!

NinaSimoneful · 22/10/2015 14:06

I disagree Umbungo

OPs friend is an idiot for telling OP to not buy second hand. Obviously she can do what she likes for her own DC but she shouldnt be telling anyone else what to buy. Unless perhaps she's planning to take OP on a fully funded shopping spree. Grin

Babyroobs · 22/10/2015 14:07

Your friend is being very unreasonable. most kids clothing on the high street is overpriced and often poor quality. I pick up a lot of stuff for my dd in charity shops and buy off Ebay. I buy a lot of second hand Boden stuff, you can often get it on Ebay for a couple of quid. It is also good to recycle stuff, people give some amazing stuff to charity shops. I love a bargain.

AuntieClimax · 22/10/2015 14:09

She IBU!!

And how nasty of her to comment on how you choose to clothe your children.

What if it's a case of you can't afford to buy new? Her acting all high and mighty is going to make you feel even worse! (I know you didn't say in OP you can't afford to buy new, but anyone whose supposedly your friend would perhaps take that into consideration in case you are going through a difficult time, not criticise your choice of clothing).

I'm usually ok financially, but being on maternity leave is crippling our finances. Therefore, I've been buying bundles of clothes off eBay etc to save money for other areas. I would be devastated if a so called friend criticised how I was choosing to clothe my children.

UmbongoUnchained · 22/10/2015 14:12

ninasimoneful you're right I did t read that bit properly sorry! Yes that is very stupid of her.
But it seems a lot of people on here think it's stupid to buy everything new when it's down to personal choice.

Notso · 22/10/2015 14:12

I love the ominous warning, 'who knows who has worn them'.

I've never had much luck with buying second hand clothes, I either find them overpriced in the charity shops or not as described on eBay etc. I do hand down between my children and my sisters children though.

Original poster
slightlyconfused85 · 22/10/2015 14:12

Umbongo why won't you put your children in second hand? It's not a criticism, just interested as to why not?

OP posts:
Original poster
slightlyconfused85 · 22/10/2015 14:14

I would struggle to clothe both my children in brand new everything, especially now as I'm on maternity leave. If I had to I probably could but I would rather save money in this area, so I can spend it elsewhere. I also believe in recycling and reusing where possible as it's better for the environment.

OP posts:
Mrscog · 22/10/2015 14:15

YANBU, most people I know buy at least some 2nd hand. I just got a bundle for DS which will provide most of his clothes for the whole of the next year (and I'm even going to use all the pants out of it) for £20.