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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To buy 2nd hand clothes for my children?

83 replies

slightlyconfused85 · 22/10/2015 13:42

Just had a bit of a friendly disagreement with a friend. I told her I had spied a couple of bundles on gumtree that will be perfect for my daughter next year and I'm going to get them - 5 h&m summer dresses for £5 and 2 Next jumpers for £3 in perfect condition. She grows like a weed and she wears things out quickly so I resent spending a lot of money on day to day items. I always buy her new shoes and underwear, but if I see second hand bits in charity shops or gumtree that are in good nick I'm always pleased. I have a baby DS and I have also started picking him up some little charity shop bargains of good quality brands. They both get new items bought for them from grandparents and of course I buy the odd new thing too.

She thinks I'm being unreasonable to buy my children second hand clothes as 'who knows who has worn them'. She also said no one she knows would do this. Is this very unusual or indeed unreasonable? I don't think it is at all but interested to see if others do. The way I look at it it's more money to save for them, or to spend on days out/activities.

OP posts:
SarahSavesTheDay · 22/10/2015 14:15

I love the ominous warning, 'who knows who has worn them'.

Yes! I know a really horrible baby. Her mother trys to give me her cast-offs as she outgrows them, but I know better.

systemusername · 22/10/2015 14:17

DDS most beloved item of clothing is a 70p Hollister hoodie from a charity shop.

KatharinaRosalie · 22/10/2015 14:23

I could afford to buy everything new, but I love a good ebay bargain. They grow out of everything in about 5 minutes, so the second-hand clothes have also generally been worn about 5 minutes and have plenty of life left in them.

Lindy2 · 22/10/2015 14:24

DD is really tough on trousers. Lots of skidding around on the ground, climbing trees etc. Last week I bought her 4 pairs of trousers for £1 at a car boot sale.
I don't know who has worn them before but they are now washed, clean and fresh smelling.
I could buy new but really it makes so much more sense to spend less on clothes that DD can play in without restrictions and more money on other more fun things.
Your friend sounds daft.

DixieNormas · 22/10/2015 14:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 22/10/2015 14:31

My dd is usually in pre-worn clothes. She has some lovely things. I wouldn't have bought her pink Ralph Lauren knickers as a newborn

Ds often gets given clothes from a friend. Less for his size in charity shops now. But he is big enough for men's S/M t -shirts!

Who wore them before? Often my friends little girl. Or my other friends 12 year old. Both live in a house with a washing machine.

I think my dcs will get them dirtier than any previous owners. One from having co-ordination issues and spilling everything. The other from leaving them on the floor.

When ds was born, mum asked if I wanted second hand things from my nephew. I said yes please, as long as they are still safe and usable.

No need to buy new things all the time. Bad for the planet!

And if I get a nice outfit for a fiver. Charity shop gets a fiver. And the outfit back in a few weeks when it no longer fits... Who loses out?

Not the big retailers, as I wasn't planning to buy an outfit anyway.

AliceInUnderpants · 22/10/2015 14:31

When DD1 was born, I bought everything new (but from Peacocks, Primark etc) Oh I soon learned! Most of DD2's wardrobe is/was 2nd hand - either bought or handed down. I used to love scouring eBay for second hand bundles of good quality clothes that would then be passed on/sold to someone else. The Primark tat had to be thrown out after a couple of washes as it would misshape!

DrasticAction · 22/10/2015 14:33

Op most people I know mix and match and tbh there is one who doesnt, yet dc are going round in old clothes that are too small Hmm talking about buying new cost but the cost etc...

I would rather have my DC in beautiful lovely clothes that may be second hand that going about in rags or clothes that are far too small, or cheap crap.

My DD wore a beautiful dress last week to party, everyone commented on it, it is lovely, and its a really expensive brand ( i got it coz i liked it, am not into brands) it was £3. £1.50 for the dress £1.50 for the cardigan.

Justaboy · 22/10/2015 14:33

Gotta larf on this one!. Where i grew up we had a sort of tradition of using hand me downs and guess what we never suffered or felt deprived at all.

Previous generation?, well it was sometimes that the boys had to wear a sisters dress but still it kept them warm and sheltered!.

Even these days DD2 and 3 exchange clothing even sometimes with friends and there're not beyond nicking some of my stuff either!there're always 'bitchin about that's my insert item of apparel your wearing etc!.

So you might have guessed that I'm of the opinion that your friend is being unreasonable and if she had any sense then she'd be doing exactly what you are!. Does she know that you do have washing machines these days and we don't have the infectious diseases then we once had?.

'Thas never had it so good!

HackerFucker22 · 22/10/2015 14:34

I have loads of second hand stuff from my sisters kids. She then had another (all boys) so I've passed it all back.

I did buy a lot new for DD, but finances dictated I could. I buy a mix for both kids now actually. With supermarkets selling cheap gear it's sometimes easier to go there than it is to ebay / gumtree.

LisbethSalandersLaptop · 22/10/2015 14:37

"who knows who has worn them" what an odd thing to say!

Tell her that square white thing with a round window in your kitchen is what we call a 'washing machine'.

I must say I had a friend who would only dress her kids in new, but she never ever made any comments to us that disagreed with her. And she was v v good about passing on bags of clothes to us that did not feel the same way...

I must say though that my half sister more or less accused me of child abuse for using a charity shop Grin but then HER mum was brought up with very little.

coffeetasteslikeshit · 22/10/2015 14:43

She is BU. Everyone I know buys second hand stuff for their babies, I honestly can't think why you wouldn't. I should add that we/they don't have to buy second hand for financial reasons, but choose to because, again, why wouldn't you?

Eva50 · 22/10/2015 14:56

There's very little excites me more than a black bag of hand-me-down clothes and they all get passed on when my dss outgrow them. I couldn't afford to buy very much new so only buy essentials. We also used a borrowed cot, high chair, Moses basket, pram etc and my boys don't appear to have suffered any long term problems from it.

LexLoofah · 22/10/2015 14:58

I buy second hand sometimes such as winter boots and coats off eBay and have happily done the same for myself, not just the DCs so you are perfectly normal & reasonable - carry on

Babytookacupwoo · 22/10/2015 14:58

My DH doesn't like second hand stuff for our DC because he (like most of the children on the thread it would seem!) was brought up
In second hand stuff and hated it.

reallywittyname · 22/10/2015 15:02

She is very silly. There is nothing wrong with second hand clothes, and as for the "who knows who has worn them", maybe she thinks Hitler's old romper suits are likely to turn up in Oxfam or something Confused

LisbethSalandersLaptop · 22/10/2015 15:05

babytookacupwoo - I seriously doubt if anyone remembers whether the baby clothes they wore were new or second hand...Confused

There did come a point when DS refused to go into charity shops when he was about 11. Now he is 17 he has got over that.

HopLittleBunny · 22/10/2015 15:08

I have a lovely sort of collage photo somewhere of an age 2-3 jacket and its various wearers. I bought it from a charity shop for DS2 and since then it has been to my nephew, nephew's cousin, nephew's cousin's cousin, back to me for DS3, to my best friend for her daughter, best friend's nephew and it has just been passed to best friend's nephew's nursery friend who is a wee dot of a lad.

Its lovely to see this photo with so many little smiling faces, all in this same jacket. Its also nice to think that I've had more than my monies worth for the fiver I paid for it, and the environmental impact its saved, one jacket going round 9 kids (including the original owner who donated it to the charity shop) instead of 9 different jackets being bought and then discarded after a season.

So obviously, I'm on the side of YANBU Grin

LumelaMme · 22/10/2015 15:09

My Dc have had lots of secondhand clothes over the years, and now that they are old enough to charity shop, guess what? They buy secondhand things for themselves.

AllOfTheCoffee · 22/10/2015 15:12

I've actually never considered buying second hand clothes from Ebay.

I've just had a glance after reading this thread, am now awaiting DD2's return from school so she can okay the jumpers I've picked for her before I bid Grin

Your friend is BU.

Who knew other people's kids could keep their clothes so nice.

Babytookacupwoo · 22/10/2015 15:14

It's wasn't just baby clothes, it was all his children's clothes. Just explaining why people don't buy them

WheresMyBurrito · 22/10/2015 15:16

The majority of DD's clothes are second hand (I mean, she's only a baby so no wear and tear as such, but still). They're like new! And once they've been washed I forget they're even second hand tbh.

I don't tend to buy myself much second hand stuff because I hate rummaging in charity shops (the ones round here are terrible anyway) and I'm not keen on buying stuff from eBay in case it doesn't fit, but considering that DD is only going to grow it doesn't matter so much if things are too big!

LisbethSalandersLaptop · 22/10/2015 15:16

I don't see what is wrong with it, up to a limit/certain age. as long as you don't live in some really small town !!
Some of the stuff I got for the kids when they were small, was just amazing quality/labels that I would never have bought new.

greenhill · 22/10/2015 15:25

DD had loads of clothes, toys and equipment from NCT nearly new sales. I pass on stuff the DC have grown out of to friends and am pleased to receive stuff back too. (Family are asked to buy coats and pyjamas for Christmas and birthdays. That way I know I'm getting good quality items that last and can be passed on).

I wish more people would reuse, rather than buying cheaper fabrics that fray and twist after a few washes. We buy loads of books from charity shops too.

I've passed on baby equipment and put it on the drive with free on it and had a fantastic highchair/ seat/ table combo off a neighbour who'd done exactly the same after no one had replied to ads in the local paper.

UmbongoUnchained · 22/10/2015 15:31

slightly
I've never really thought about it if I'm honest. I just really don't like the thought of it. I wouldn't wear second hand stuff myself so wouldn't dream of putting it on my child. The o my thing second hand I had for my DD was a blanket that was knitted by my great great nan and passed down through the years. I never actually used it though...