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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To,ask for a suitable punishment?

56 replies

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 21/10/2015 18:09

For ds. He is 12. In y7. First year of seniors for those of us who still use that system.

I have just seen 'the planner'. The book I am supposed to see every week.

I have apparently signed this every week for the last month and a bit.

My signature looks awful! I have even spelled my name wrong. It's only 4 letters, I have been writing it for the best part of 40 years Hmm

I have also been using the wrong pen. I always write in my Parker cartridge pen. Never a biro.

The teachers have signed underneath these obvious forgeries.

So do your worst! Teach the lying little pre-teen some honesty please?

OP posts:
TheWoodenSpoonOfMischief · 21/10/2015 19:14

I wouldn't punish that either.

insan1tyscartching · 21/10/2015 19:24

Dd1 used to sign my name with the best forgery I have ever seen. Dd2 is too honest and won't let me teach her Wink I wouldn't punish tbh just be glad he's resourceful enough to get himself out of a pickle.

Youarentkiddingme · 21/10/2015 19:25

My secondary school never knew my dads signature - only the only I did for him in my homework diary every week! Even my dad, a secondary school teacher said if I don't do my homework I'm doing the detention so why would he chase it up!

ValancyJane · 21/10/2015 19:27

I'm a form tutor and my lot learnt early on that if I noticed a forged signature (and I'm quite good) the detention would be far longer than the obligatory five minutes for not having it signed. Ditto if I catch them lying to me. I'd email and tell the teacher, they will probably want to nip it in the bud!

That said, must openly confess I signed my mums for year 10 and 11 and was generally doing alright!!

CrohnicallyAspie · 21/10/2015 19:29

I remember signing my planner in tutor time while she was making her way round the room, I also remember discussing with my best friend at the time, we thought that forging your mum's signature was a genetic thing as everyone seemed to be able to do their own mum's!

By the way, my forgeries were so good even my mum didn't spot it on the (rare) few occasions she did sign it!

Crazypetlady · 21/10/2015 19:31

I used to sign using other family members names as well for variety.

Brioche201 · 21/10/2015 19:32

Don't all kids do this?: He has saved you a job , you should be thanking him!

fredfredgeorgejnrsnr · 21/10/2015 19:35

What is a "planner"?

It sounds like pointless make work for all concerned and the kid should be rewarded for saving people the effort.

CrohnicallyAspie · 21/10/2015 19:40

The 'planner' contains everything a student needs to know at school (usually secondary/seniors).

School map, timetable, teachers names and email addresses, etc. plus a week by week section to write down homework and for staff/parents to write messages to each other- this is usually required to be signed each week by a parent and teacher, this is to make sure that the pupil is showing the planner to someone at home and they are receiving any messages and ensuring homework is done.

Original poster
WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 21/10/2015 21:15

Hi. The signatures look like they were done by my toddler. I wouldn't mind if it was a half decent attempt.

I signed the first week. Maybe second. Then the planner mysteriously got left at school.

What homework do you have tonight? Is usually met with a mumbled 'nothing' so I have no idea if he has done anything apart from make a model alien...

He is going through a lazy stage. I hope it's a stage! Won't put laundry out to wash. Won't shower unless repeatedly reminded.

Gets up about 2 minutes before the bus leaves, even with alarms, shouts, quilt thrown into the hall...

OP posts:
Original poster
WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 21/10/2015 21:19

YEs, he knows I have seen it.

It finally appeared today after the no homework conversation.

OP posts:
SistersOfPercy · 21/10/2015 21:26

Sounds like a pretty normal teenager to me why Don't sweat the small stuff with them, choose your battles wisely.

Sometimes it's easier to close the door, have a coffee and a lump of cake and let them figure out their own dramas. He won't need reminding to shower when he realises girls don't like stinky boys, he won't need reminding about laundry when he finds himself doing it at ten o'clock on a sunday night Wink

Tricky things, I've survived two of the beggars. Sometimes you just have to be like the penguins in the Madagascar movie - just smile and wave.

SalemSaberhagen · 21/10/2015 21:44

I used to forge my DF's signature for PE notes as they knew DM's.

The joy of having a NRP!

EduCated · 21/10/2015 21:59

Forever The chit chat is genius!

I was the most uptight, obedient and genuinely terrified of getting a detention kind of a student and even I forged my mums signature in my planner!

BeanGirls · 21/10/2015 22:03

Hmm I don't know. I used to do this to my dm. Why did he forge it, was it to keep you from seeing he was in trouble or just to make life easier/to be a bit rebellious. You know your child best.

MammaTJ · 21/10/2015 22:06

My DD2 did this, but she was 9 at the time! It was a good copy too, I just knew I had not signed it then.

I just wrote what I needed to in the planner and signed it, then put underneath 'My real signature' with an arrow pointing up to it. DD then did a rubbish job of crossing that out, so the teacher wrote a little note about forgery being a crime or some such! I think she chatted to her about it too.

I used to do my mums, and it was great!

Original poster
WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 21/10/2015 22:19

I think he was too lazy to get it out of his bag and ask me to sign it.

He is getting too lazy to do anything other than play on his now confiscated phone.

Surely he ?ould be in less trouble at school with "my little sister has been unwell, and I forgot to ask mum" ?

OP posts:
Noodledoodledoo · 21/10/2015 22:22

Another secondary tutor here - who also forged her Mum's signature on my maths homework (with her permission) throughout school and shocked my maths teacher when I told her during my time in sixth form! I sometimes did my dad's but this was riskier as he taught at the same school!

I told my tutor group on the last week of yr 11 I had done this. I checked their planners every week but didn't give out punishments to those not signed but reward points for those who had them signed. I had a young man in my tutor group whose mum barely acknowledged him so getting his planner signed was a very low priority - I checked he was on top of the homework but felt it was wrong to punish him for something his mum refused to do (no dad around).

EduCated · 21/10/2015 22:27

Depending on the school, and how petty they are, forging it may well have been lower risk than not having it signed, whatever the excuse.

LavenderRain · 21/10/2015 22:30

All my DC signed their own planners. No big deal. Teachers didn't care as long as work was done which it was.

Oh and OP, give it another year and you wont get him out of the shower!!

minimalistaspirati0ns · 21/10/2015 22:32

My DS did this and I told him I'd write 'this is my real signature, next to my real signature' next time it happened.

fredfredgeorgejnrsnr · 21/10/2015 22:56

I can't understand why a parent should sign a "planner"? Acknowledge that a particular piece of communication has been received, sure. But not that they've read a planner, it just seems odd - what is it trying to achieve?

kali110 · 21/10/2015 23:04

Never in all my time at school did i forge my parents signature.
I would have been in trouble for doing that.
I Wouldn't find it acceptable either.

kali110 · 21/10/2015 23:05

Though i do agree that the planners are a complete waste of time, i still don't think it is right.

Original poster
WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 22/10/2015 06:56

Back in the day... We had a homework diary.

We lived with our dad, who worked all day to keep a roof over us.

I never bothered to ask him to sign it, as he was busy. And I was having to run the house.

My sister forged.

But she did a far better job than ds.

I have just been and put notes by all of the fakes. And put the planner back in his bag.

I will be on the phone to the school, as soon as he is on the bus!

If it was the first sign of dishonesty, I wouldn't have been bothered. But he is lying almost every time his mouth is open.

I'm ready for school...
Have you fed your cat? Washed your face? Packed a drink? Got PE kit?
Yes
What meat did you give cat?
Oh, I haven't done that yet
What drink bottle did you pack?
Oh, I haven't got one either
Is it indoor or outdoor PE?
I think it's indoor so I packed my rugby kit.
Why?
I can't find my indoor shirt
I washed it the other day
Did you?
Yes. Have you got your waterproof coat on?
YEESSSSS
Really
No. I am putting it on now. (Silence)
See you later.

I get to the car and his coat is screwed up on the floor. With a muddy PE kit that he promised was in the wash.

Every. Flipping. Day.

OP posts:
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