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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be bored of the open season on "posh" accents?

123 replies

Asteria36 · 21/10/2015 17:32

I am unbelievably bored of people treating my "posh" accent as a totally acceptable object of ridicule. Is this just me, or do other people find that in groups with mixed accents they feel honed in on and ridiculed for the way they speak? I wouldn't dream of singling out and poking fun at someone for the way that they talk, but in the past when I have suggested that perhaps, like most people, I can't help the way I speak I have been met with hostility.
One particular acquaintance of ours has decided that it is perfectly acceptable to minimise comments I make in conversation by saying "rah rah rah" and accusing me being a snob - but in my opinion she is actually the one with the problem, not me. I don't care what you sound like, just don't behave like a cockwomble.

OP posts:
derxa · 21/10/2015 21:04

I was also well spoken because I was well read Do you mean you had a wide vocabulary?

I have a Scottish accent but because I've live half my life in England my accent is now a bit different from the people I grew up with. No accent is inherently 'better' e.g. would you be able to tell if someone had a 'posh' Japanese accent if you were not able to speak Japanese?

However op, I feel your pain. If someone attacks your accent, it is bullying. It is difficult to object without sounding precious or over-sensitive.

ComposHatComesBack · 21/10/2015 21:12

Why should a person's voice help their job prospects? Surely, qualifications and experience are the factors which count

Really? Look at the words used to describe an RP accent - 'nicely spoken' 'she speaks well' 'an educated voice' it connotes authority and learning.

derxa · 21/10/2015 21:20

*I've lived

Tartyflette · 21/10/2015 21:51

I find accents and the changing perception of them fascinating. I remember when a Liverpool accent was admired while an Irish one was looked down on whereas these days it's the other way round.
I read somewhere there is a well known 'order' of preferred accents used by advertisers, and for voices on automated telephone systems etc. MC Scottish is popular, it's seen as educated but friendly and not snobby. Other than that, a sort of classless southern accent prevails, unless its for Hovis ads! (The posh boy Cameron/RP accent is not so much in favour it seems -- are we moving towards an RP/Estuary/generic Southeast hybrid as a sort of 'standard' English accent, I wonder?)
Even the Queen sounds very different these days, if you compare more recent speeches to those she made when she was much younger. Much more 'that' and 'hat' rather than 'thet' and 'het'.
And Prince Harry sounds almost normal. (Standard army oficer, posh turned down a fair bit)

Penfold007 · 21/10/2015 21:52

DC & I have the so called 'posh' accent, DH (their DF) has a regional Welsh accent. People judge.

derxa · 21/10/2015 21:56

Tarty
I too find this fascinating 5 years of linguistics and phonetics study
Your observations are spot on.

MistyBells · 21/10/2015 22:00

I had all the 'posh' comments growing up as I moved from the south to the midlands as a young child. Mostly just friendly joking but some definitely judged me on it and deemed me to be abit stuck up Hmm

WishIWasWonderwoman · 22/10/2015 00:31

Shock The 'bored of' thing has really surprised me!

This will go down like the day I was nine years old and discovered 'should of' was incorrect!

I'm too old to have these grammatical surprises.

Original poster
Asteria36 · 22/10/2015 00:44

Surely you are used to them by now Wonderwoman! MN is riddled with grammar police!

OP posts:
Bambambini · 22/10/2015 01:01

Posh voices are just so easy and so much fun to do though. I don't do it to ridicule folk, that's not nice. I just like to sit talking to myself and sound like the queen. It's also handy when on the phone to companies and they can't understand my strong rough as fuck accent - a bit of queenie always goes down well and gets the job done.

FurryDogMother · 22/10/2015 01:10

I've always had an RP accent, and people have always taken the piss out of it - doesn't bother me. What does bother me is that every time I watch Downton Abbey I reflect Lady Mary's accent and end up sounding posher than posh, if you know what I mean (ie posher than the Queen). Goes down a bomb in the rural west of Ireland, where I spend half my life :) Works a treat when complaining to Waitrose, though!

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 22/10/2015 01:33

Pisses me off too...massive inverted snobbery...

As you say, wouldn't dream of saying.... Bloody hell you sound common! / your accent makes my ears bleed/ wot you from eastenders or summink? /

However it's open season for RP /non accented English.

I've lived all over, so any trace of my home (West Country) accent has disappeared. I have had many comments of the - get you aren't you the la-di-da... Or more recently, you're a bit Downton aren't you! Did you swallow a dictionary?! (usually when I've inadvertently used a common, but presumably unheard by them word or phrase). I'm supposed I'm meant to hold my sides with mirth Hmm.

I think it's all meant with affection (or is it?!) - doesn't stop it from being bloody tiresome though!

Incandescentage · 22/10/2015 08:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pandarific · 22/10/2015 10:00

NeedsAsockamnesty I am a bit pissed off by what you said about the only people that get picked on for having a posh accent are the ones with 'obviously worked on' accents. WTF? How would you know?

I've gotten shite all my life for essentially talking wrong (my Irish accent is not regional enough in Ireland) and I have been accused of having a 'fake' accent. It deeply pisses me off because a) yes I have a wide vocabulary that would be down to spending most of my childhood with my nose in a book and b) I automatically start reflecting the accent of whoever I am around - it's not conscious - hence mongrel accent.

Can we just agree it's bloody rude to pick on someone for how they speak??

derxa · 22/10/2015 10:06

Can we just agree it's bloody rude to pick on someone for how they speak??
Yes. Rude and nasty.

wasonthelist · 22/10/2015 10:15

There is no such thing as non accented or no accent.

PurpleHairAndPearls · 22/10/2015 11:18

My DC who has a hearing loss cannot understand strongly accented speech. He lip reads a lot and has hearing aids but he can't quite "catch" the speech if it isn't sort of RP/accent neutral (what he is used to I suppose).

We had An Incident in primary school where someone with a very strong Scottish accent (which sounded lovely incidentally) complained they thought DS was being racist as he kept saying "sorry, what?" only to them Hmm it got ironed out in the end but I think it has left him scared of the same thing happening and he will just rely on BSL in situations where it might arise.

It's a minefield isn't it!

Original poster
Asteria36 · 22/10/2015 11:57

Icandescentage - I'm from the NE and largely only had very mild affectionate ribbing for my accent there. Mostly from boys at the comp I went to teaching me how to say Fook off instead of Fack Orf (or however it would be phonetically spelt). It wasn't until I moved south that the ribbing seemed to turn nasty. There are a wide range of accents in my family, granny was rather grand English and grandfather was a Scottish farmer so that side is a v mixed range of MC Edinburgh and RP (forgive my ignorance but what does that stand for?). I tend to sound a little more Scottish when I am around that side of the family. I have few issues wen understanding v broad accents, due to the wide range of friends I have and a couple of jobs that required a keener ear!

OP posts:
Lurkedforever1 · 22/10/2015 12:26

Yanbu, but I agree with pps that it's any accent that is different to the majority in that group/ area. I can't say it's ever really given me any problems, and I live on a council estate where my non local rp is not the norm.

Incredibly funny when dd was a baby and I was claiming benefits. It was assumed more than once I was claiming/ speaking on behalf of another party. Especially funny whenever I came across a petty tyrant and I had the amusement of cranking my accent, speech pattern and vocabulary up to full on posh. It's amazing how much quicker the average twat pays attention when you quote the relevant legislation in 1950's newsreader manner at them. I also find it handy to use it in the same way for others. Because unfair as it is, the average petty tyrant tends to assume a posh accent denotes both higher intelligence and knowledge of the subject, even when the locally accented person 2 minutes earlier was more informed, equally intelligent and was essentially saying the same thing.

For rather complicated reasons I went to a school where my rp stood out like a sore thumb. I can remember mild friendly ribbing, but nothing I didn't also find amusing or any different than any other mild piss taking we all did. Although I don't know if that was because despite rp I could make a sailor blush with my language when I chose.

wasonthelist · 22/10/2015 12:35

To be clear - rp is an accent, and it is regional. It is used in a lot of places, but it is a regional accent originating in the South of England.

HorseyCool · 22/10/2015 12:41

I was taught to speak by a speech therapist as I was mute until about age 4-5, as a result I have a posh accent, I sound nothing like my family (from North Wales) and I have been ridiculed for my accent too. I tell people the real reason behind my cut glass tones and they shut up.

If it helps I find swearing with a really posh accent is great, so maybe next time she does the "Rah Rah Rah" thing you say "oh do fuck off dear" in your poshest voice?

ShamelessBreadAddict · 22/10/2015 12:45

Sorry I haven't got time to rtft the whole way through but just wanted to say I love 'posh' accents! I don't have one at all though - I have a mild to medium regional accent which I also love and which people always say is nice (to my face at least). I probably wouldn't take the piss out of anyone's accent unless I knew them really well and knew they'd find it funny.

RB68 · 22/10/2015 12:51

My grandmother was a bit of a tartar about accent and constantly corrected my and my sisters northern accents. Was she posh - was she bugger. Working class daughter of a green grocer from the NE who ran away to London at 18 and got herself a secretarial job on the back of her posh accent (masking natural NE accent) and continued to work all her life even with 4 kids. She was desperate to be considered posh but as my Mother wld say was all fur coat and no knickers. I do either - it seems to vary on the situation and who I am with etc. As Hubs says when I get annoyed and cross and start ranting I go "all northern" which I find amusing.

CoraPirbright · 22/10/2015 13:11

Pisses me off too...massive inverted snobbery...

As you say, wouldn't dream of saying.... Bloody hell you sound common! / your accent makes my ears bleed/ wot you from eastenders or summink? /

However it's open season on RP/non-accented English

^^ this in spades.

I have what could be described as a 'posh' accent but I am quite a nice person, I think. You know, I try to be decent, kind and thoughtful and to teach my children the same. If you were to meet me in the pub/office/party, taking my accent out of consideration I think most people would think I am an OK person. However because I sound like Lady Mary there is an automatic assumption that I am a snobby cow (really am not - I couldn't give a toss where people are from. If you are nice then I think you are nice). I would pull my own finger nails out before commenting that someone is 'common' or whatever so why is it ok to say that to me? And in fact, OP, I think that last sentence could be something you could say to this horrid colleague and see what she says to that.

cleaty · 22/10/2015 14:03

Yes other accents get the piss taken out of them. If you have a strong Birmingham accent, you won't get that in Birmingham obviously, but you will in some places. My DPs family get called country yokels because of their accent.

I assume anyone with a RP accent is posh too. Or at the very least from parents who wanted their DCs to be posh.

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