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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to speak to teacher about this or should I let it pass?

41 replies

ihateminecraft · 19/10/2015 17:21

DD (yr4) has specific learning difficulties and as a result is bottom of the class in most subjects. She does have a strength though in that she's very good at art and is very creative. She scores highly on visual perception & spatial awareness standardised tests. I'm not claiming she's a child prodigy or something but she's clearly very able in that area, a fact acknowledged by every teacher she's ever had and has even won children's art comps! We have always tried raising her self esteem (which is low) by encouraging her, as have her teachers. Her current teacher (who is excellent and very experienced) even wrote in a report recently that she was "good at art".

Today she came home very upset saying she had been put in the "bottom art group". Didn't actually know they streamed for art, but anyway! I kept asking if she was sure and whether the teacher just split the class up to do different tasks and perhaps they would move round next week (DD has a tendency to get the wrong end of the stick, often!) But she said the teacher definitely said "top" and "bottom" and she wished she'd been able to record it on her ipod so I'd believe her! She said "See, I'm not even any good at that - in the bottom group for everything!"

If this is correct, I'm pretty upset and disappointed for DD, and also rather shocked as this teacher is very keen to help with her self esteem. However, I also don't want to risk looking like a pushy parent, especially if DD has got it all wrong!

OP posts:
tabulahrasa · 19/10/2015 17:24

It's perfectly fine to get in touch because your DD is upset, whether she's right or wrong she's under the impression now that she's not good at art.

So even if she is mistaken about what's happened, that would need cleared up.

clam · 19/10/2015 17:27

Who on earth has ability groups for art? Hmm

bumbleymummy · 19/10/2015 17:27

Your poor DD. I don't think it's unreasonable to get in touch and find out if this is the case and why.

Mehitabel6 · 19/10/2015 17:37

I really can't think they have ability groups for art- definitely pop in and discuss it.

noblegiraffe · 19/10/2015 17:37

It sounds like a misunderstanding, setting for art would be weird.

catfordbetty · 19/10/2015 17:37

If this is correct

Ask. See what the teacher says. Take it from there.

Badbadtromance · 19/10/2015 17:40

Gosh I wouldn't want my reception children to be streamed. Never heard of such a thing

morecoffeethanhuman · 19/10/2015 17:41

When DD1 is upset about something I ask the teacher I she can clarify it for me, with DD there so she can understand too - normally she's got the wrong end of the stick but DD's teacher never has a problem explaining something that's gone on & has said she'd prefer to know as wouldn't want them being upset over a misunderstanding! So i think its perfectly fine to ask

NickiFury · 19/10/2015 17:49

My dd has autism (also year 4) and every single term she is given a crappy minor role in the class performance as they obviously think she can't cope with anything else. She's very high functioning and CAN! She does get upset about it so I am gearing myself up to mention at parents evening this week that she needs consideration for a bigger role this term. I know I will be judged a pushy, precious parent but I'm going for it anyway.

It's so hard OP. I totally get it.

popandboo · 19/10/2015 17:50

Could the teacher have said something like 'the paints are at the top of the table and brushes at the bottom' and your DD has understood a different meaning of top and bottom?

No harm in asking though.

Youarentkiddingme · 19/10/2015 18:03

I agree asking teacher is fine because your Dd is upset and you need clarification to support her.

It only needs to be a simple "DD came home upset yesterday as she said you'd set art groups and she was told it's the bottom group" then pause and await what teacher says.

TwllBach · 19/10/2015 18:03

As a teacher, I would never use the words 'top' and 'bottom' anyway and wouldn't stream for art in regards to ability. I know the higher up the school they go, the children do have a rough idea of why they are in which group, but I don't think it is necessary for those words to be used. Double check with the teacher Smile

fuzzpig · 19/10/2015 18:05

I hope this is a misunderstanding! Seems a bit off to stream for art.

Lynnm63 · 19/10/2015 18:06

I would pop in and chat to the teacher you don't want to go in all guns blazing if dd has got the wrong end of the stick. If they have put your child in the bottom set then I'd complain. They should be improving self esteem by her being top set in something. My dd has SN too and her primary school was very keen on the mantra that everyone is good at something.

TheTroubleWithAngels · 19/10/2015 18:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oxfordblue · 19/10/2015 18:41

I think you need to go & ask z more vague question, so don't ask about top or bottom, say, am I correct in understanding DD has been streamed for art ? Then depending on the answer - it's only going to be yes or no, you can ask which end she is in & if the bottom, ask what made them put her there.

FWIW im always asking questions. We are they're mums & it's our duty to find out what's making them upset etc.

Mehitabel6 · 20/10/2015 07:28

Have you been in to clarify?
I can't see any point in streaming for art so find it highly unlikely.

YouTheCat · 20/10/2015 07:33

I'd bet my bottom dollar this is a misunderstanding and the teacher is referring to the table at the top and the one at the bottom. I've never heard of art being streamed. Also it is incredibly bad practice to refer to top and bottom groups.

Brioche201 · 20/10/2015 07:38

Yeah I think your dad has got the wrong end of the stick.

ihateminecraft · 20/10/2015 07:50

Hmm. Like to think they don't use the words "top" and " bottom" but I've a feeling they do. She knows she's in the bottom group for other things! From what she said, most of the "top" art group are the more academic kids who are "better at shading?!?"

OP posts:
MidniteScribbler · 20/10/2015 10:24

I'd get clarification from the teacher, but I've never in all of my time teaching heard of someone streaming for art based on ability. It's more likely that the teacher has said something like 'everyone on the top table put your work on the airer' or something like that, referring to the physical location, and your daughter has taken it from that as she is possibly already sensitive about being streamed. The teacher should be able to clarify and sort it out with your daughter.

Scarydinosaurs · 20/10/2015 10:39

Could it be top and bottom halves of the register?

Just check.

dodobookends · 20/10/2015 10:40

Badromance Year 4 not age 4.

Keeptrudging · 20/10/2015 10:46

Have never come across art being streamed - I would definitely check with teacher as it's affecting your daughter's self-esteem, even though it sounds like she's misinterpreted something.

Getyercoat · 20/10/2015 10:49

Is there a possibility she looked at who was in her group and thought "they're not the best at art, and now I'm in their group = I'm in the bottom group"?

I ask because I did exactly the same at school.