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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask would you let a 7 year old travel on the bus alone

78 replies

ghostspirit · 19/10/2015 13:09

im half watching loose woman. and one of the panel was saying how she lets her 7 year old go to school on the bus on his own to school she knows hes safe because he comes back. she then said how he sneaked out of the house to go on a play date at 8 in the evening. (she thought he was in bed)

maybe it depends on where people live what sort of jurney it is... i would not do it though

OP posts:

MuttonDressedAsGoose · 19/10/2015 14:29

My son is now 11 and has started secondary several miles away. On the first day I rode with him to school. He's been fine since. And we gave him a phone in case there was a problem.

I wish my two younger (6 & 8) could walk to school, but the school won't allow it. There's only one road to cross but it's a busyish one and there's no crossing guard.

rumbleinthrjungle · 19/10/2015 14:31

School designated bus, no problem. Standard public transport bus alone... with a lot of caution. I was assaulted on one aged 11, travelling alone. But travelled by train to school for four years with friends without one single incident.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 19/10/2015 14:34

ghost I imagine many parents would still feel a bit nervous about sending their DCs off alone on the school bus at the start. At 7, a 5 mile journey with other children (most probably older) and possibly unsupervised - as the driver is the driver so not really available to supervise - still has a worrying scope for getting into trouble . Most parents of 7 year olds still want to know that either they, or CM's, GP's, breakfast club staff etc. etc. have seen them safely into school I think. Although a school bus is perfectly safe & fine, I'd no doubt wonder whether they'd arrived safely to start with!

That's the scenario I thought they were talking about anyway, but I could be wrong! I hope she's not actually sending her child 5 miles across town on a public bus .

Kangenchunga1 · 19/10/2015 14:36

No way on a public bus, yes on a private school bus.

BarbarianMum · 19/10/2015 14:37

No, not at 7. At 9, yes, for a straightforward journey.

ouryve · 19/10/2015 14:38

Heck no.

Mainly because bigger kids can be complete dicks.

Floggingmolly · 19/10/2015 14:42

Parents don't actually travel with their kids on a designated school bus, though, do they? Isn't that the whole point?
So I'd imagine it's safe to assume she's talking about public transport. Child travelling alone on school bus that NO parent travels on isn't worthy of mention, surely.

KondosSecretJunkRoom · 19/10/2015 14:46

Oh God no, I don't think my kids ( 6 &8) would keep themselves safe, keep out of mischief, get off at the right stop. Maybe I'm failing them miserably but they seem on a par with their peers? And I'd be livid if either left the house without telling me, nevermind if they snuck out and got on a bus.

MerryMarigold · 19/10/2015 14:49

I didn't think you were allowed to with 7yo. At our school you are not allowed to let them go to school on their own till Y5, even if you live round the corner. They are also not allowed to leave with an under 16 yo. Not sure what kind of school her kid goes to!

Ilikedmyoldusernamebetter · 19/10/2015 15:02

Agree a child who sneaks out alone after going to bed isn't the one to be given extra independence and responsibility!

Also agree it is bound to be a school bus of some description - they still exist for UK state primaries in very rural locations I think (and for special schools) as well as for private schools.

I wouldn't personally let a 7 year old take a public bus alone in most situations, though I imagine there are combinations of ideal contexts and localities where it is perfectly sensible. I am happy with my 10 year old taking the public bus she does - but wouldn't be happy with her taking every public bus in every locality.

I am absolutely happy with my children taking a school bus from the age of 6 onwards in our locality and knowing my children - though I imagine there are plenty of individual children and school buses and combinations of the two where it would be inappropriate.

So much depends... so many variables. As with most things in reality...

Janeymoo50 · 19/10/2015 15:09

Public bus or school bus (these two would be totally different in my view)

I personally think that when still at primary school they need supervision (looking after!).

Original poster

ghostspirit · 19/10/2015 16:07

janey i did not let my daughter go anywhere hardly when she was in primary she was allowed to play close to the house. and that was it. she had to travel by bus to secondry school. i had a few dummy runs with her and couple times she got on the first bus i got on the 2nd and we met near the school. when it came to the real thing she cried getting on the bus for a good few weeks, she was 11 then... with my son i let him do more things and hes more confident and happy to get the bus/get to school alone

OP posts:

PacificMouse · 19/10/2015 16:23

Tbh, I wouod expect the school to ring if the child hadn't arrived (They certainly do ring abd check at our school if youu don't ring to say they are ill).
So on that ground, saying 'I'm sure he is fine. He is getting there and coming back in one piece' sounds a good way to put it.
If he was distressed at the idea of going or whatever, then it would be a different situation but it certainly doesn't seem to be the case with that child

Original poster

ghostspirit · 19/10/2015 16:39

our school does not always ring. and sometimes if they do its not till afternoon.

OP posts:

Nataleejah · 19/10/2015 16:44

No.

Lurkedforever1 · 19/10/2015 16:49

In very specific circumstances perhaps. Eg week day mornings soon as it's off peak the local bus is full of retired people going to another village with a small shopping precinct. If there had been a need I could imagine being happy to put her on the bus at that time myself if she was being met at the other end. Letting her catch a bus herself for a longer journey at 7, no way.

Floggingmolly · 19/10/2015 16:52

But we all "get there and back in one piece", don't we? Until the time we don't... It's like saying that because you've taken that shortcut down a dingy back alley at 3am twice now, without incident; it must be perfectly safe.
No logic there whatsoever.

MerryMarigold · 19/10/2015 17:13

But we all "get there and back in one piece", don't we?

Precisely. We all wear seatbelts. I've never had so much as a bump in 20 years of driving virtually every day. I still wear it. Well, also it is the law, but that's for a good reason. I'm not sure what the law is on kids travelling alone. I thought you weren't supposed to leave them in the house alone at that age, let alone in public.

NotSoDesperateHousewife · 19/10/2015 17:56

Not a fucking chance and my 7 year old is very mature and sensible for his age.

halfdrunkcoffee · 19/10/2015 18:39

My mum was getting the bus with her younger brother when aged about six, but that was back in the 50s. I did a year aborad in Germany when at university and used to see groups of children who looked about 7 traveling to school. It is probably different if everyone does it and other adults in the community know to look out for them.

But I can't imagine letting my children go on a public bus alone aged seven. I'd be worried they'd forget when to get off, fall over, get lost or many other scenarios. I'd probably wait until 11 at least.

Senpai · 19/10/2015 19:13

Maybe the area she lives is safe. I would never let DD on a bus around here alone like that at 7 years old. Maybe when shes' 12 and with some friends.

spankhurst · 19/10/2015 19:21

No, definitely not.

HOWEVER my 85yo DF used to catch a bus to the Humber ferry port, get the ferry into Hull, get another bus and then go to the swimming pool. When he was 7. SEVEN!!

Crazypetlady · 19/10/2015 21:43

No way.
I live in rural wales where there are a lot of school buses picked up from school and dropped off at village. That is secondary. The primary school kids used to get picked up by the school bus for the village a ten minute walk away because of the main road. They were dropped off outside or as close to their houses as possible and if it was close to then the parents would meet them.

The only bus a seven year old of mine would be on is a school bus like the one above.

BertieBotts · 20/10/2015 09:48

Iliked - agreed, but the problem is that "something could happen" in every situation and people are in general bad at assessing risk. So sometimes it helps to have an objective, outside boundary, you'll be in trouble with the law if it goes past X but not before then. Like driving - everyone THINKS they are a safe driver. But we have traffic laws and seatbelt laws just the same.

I do live in Germany and kids from about five ride the tram/trains alone, especially rurally where schools and houses are spread out and the route is simple. At five they are usually seen on and off the train or travel in a group with older friends and siblings but it's not uncommon to see eight year olds alone or in small groups. There are no special school buses or trams here except one for the European school.

EnthusiasmDisturbed · 20/10/2015 09:49

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