to ask would you let a 7 year old travel on the bus alone

[ghostspirit]

im half watching loose woman. and one of the panel was saying how she lets her 7 year old go to school on the bus on his own to school she knows hes safe because he comes back. she then said how he sneaked out of the house to go on a play date at 8 in the evening. (she thought he was in bed)

maybe it depends on where people live what sort of jurney it is... i would not do it though

Hang on a minute - where did she say it was a standard public bus?

I was also watching (I know, shoot me) and had the impression she was talking about a designated school bus. For a start, he is 7 and goes to a school 5 miles away. I am imagining a private school (as state primaries tend to be more local usually), with it's own bus.

Our local private school has such a bus which collects children from the end of their own driveways & drops them back there at night. In that situation, no problem.

If we are actually taking about sending a 7 year old off down the road to catch a number 52 then, no, no chance (but I don't think that is the case here).

I'm fairly open minded, but I think 9 is more like the earliest age I'd consider.

I will try and catch it on +1.

Absolutely no way!!!!

Public transport of any kind, no. I don't understand her logic of knowing he's safe because he comes back. By the same token she's inferring that if he didn't return she'd then realize it wasn't safe after all

I live in London. I didn't get a bus on my own till I was 11 and that was with my older cousin.

I cannot tell you how many times a pervert has sat next to me, how many drunk and abusive people there are on the buses here, thieves or just crazy people, how many times we have almost sat down on a vomit or urine covered seat. Even the other children going to secondary school are awful and fight/step on old people.

There is no way I would let a 7 year old deal with that.

School bus... maybe. But going on the behaviour of local kids then I'd want a teacher on it!

I really hate the "SS will get you if something happens" line - it gets trotted out in every situation in which an under 18 might be out of parental eyesight, from the sublime to the ridiculous, whether the topic is is "would you leave your 2 year old to play alone next to the M1 while you went on a 3 week holiday" or "would you let your 15 year old walk home from school alone?"

If "something" happened the issue would be that "something" had happened (presumably something unfortunate) - whether or not SS would get involved should be the last thing on anyone's mind - why are they trotted out as the boggyman to scare naughty parents into behaving in some particular paranoid/over protective/ smothering/ cautious/ sensible (depending on the thread) way? Surely the issue is whether the child will be likely to be safe and gain anything from the experience?

That said the answer is really it depends - bus door to door, stopping right outside the school, sensible child happy confident and eager to take the responsibility, route practised multiple times in advance with parent, perhaps one of those small local buses not a massive city double decker, route known to be quiet and not packed - seat guaranteed - in all honesty why not? In other circumstances (very busy route, stop not immediately outside school, no preparation, child worried) - of course not.

Mine take the school bus from age 6 - walk to the stop on their own, turn up home having caught the school bus and walked from the stop. As does every other child, because we live in a country where that is how it works. From age 10711 when they change schools they take a public bus technically, though in fact it is full of school kids and rarely anyone else, and there is only one bus each way per day...

santa your right i have made the assumption its a public bus... so my thread may be pointless. i made the assumption its a standard public bus because i would have thought she would say if it was a private school bus. and if it had been a private school bus then there would not have been a discussion.as he would have been supervised. what would there be to discuss. like you say though i could have got it wrong

*10 / 11 not 10711...

When I was 5 I went to school on a service bus (door to door) and no-one batted an eyelid!! But I wouldn't dream of letting a child do it now.I don't think the risk has changed really, but the perception of what children can do has changed a lot.Not sure if it's a good thing or not

With a school bus, no issue at all.
In my area, children start taking the bus on their own at 5yo, when they start reception (Yes it's in the middle of nowhere)

Public transport? No way!

It was on a school bus so I think the risk to him would be minimal.

And he wouldn't be the first child to sneak out of home on his own. My nephew when he was 4 years old was brought home by the police at 4am one morning. His mum and dad were blissfully asleep and unaware that he had decided to get the bus to his friends house at 3am!!! That was 28 years ago!

But there is some truth in the SS line - the UK law does not specify any minimum age for babysitting/being left at home alone/allowed to walk to school alone etc, but parents can be prosecuted for neglect IF said child has an accident which it is judged the parents did not protect adequately against. It's nothing to do with social services though, it would be a police/court matter (I suppose unless care for that or other children came under question).

So for example a freak accident of a nine year old drowning in a bath while their parent was putting a toddler to bed in the next room would probably not be construed as neglect, because most people expect a nine year old to bathe alone. But a one year old who drowned because the parents left them alone to go on a drugs binge, would be the victim of neglect. And subject to prosecution.

My story above probably sounds worse than it was.We were in a rural area so the bus stopped 'by request'.My mum waited with me outside the garden gate and stopped the bus.If it was a new driver (which it hardly ever was) she told him where I was getting off which was a bus stop right outside the school in a village about 3 miles away and I walked straight into school.
On the way back my mum was standing outside the house to request the bus to stop in case I had forgotten to press the bell.I don't suppose it was much different to a school bus really

Gottagetmoving To be honest I don't blame parents for being "paranoid

Paranoia is anxiety and fear based. Of course parents need to be concerned and keep their child safe but it is getting to the point where even older children are being over protected and not being allowed to develop into confident capable people.
Especially when a child gets to 12, as a pp said, and they are still not allowed the independence to get on a bus!

Some parents are so scared and more concerned about their own fears than they are about their children. It's selfish. You have to teach your children, trust in them and suck up the fear instead of cocooning them all the time.
Ok, so 7 is a bit young for most people, but when is it ok? I am guessing never or until a child kicks back in some cases.

I think a child should be able to do that and I think it's a shame that it's unacceptable.

Several years ago, when my oldest was about that age (six or seven) I took him to the Kelvingrove Gallery. We'd been there before, and this time I sat in the cafe in the centre and knit while he went around the museum. There are two wings and two floors. So he would go to one section, then come back, have some of his snack, and head off to another. I was very clear that he was to go only to that area and then check back in. He also was told not to run or touch exhibits. An elderly woman sat at the next table saw this and said that when she was his age, she'd take the bus from the other side of Glasgow to the museum every Saturday. She thought it was a shame that children couldn't do that any more. That seems extreme to me, but I think it worked out OK. Children were expected to be independent.

I would be that sort of parent mutton but I've had so many raised eyebrowns from school mums etc.. that I have scaled down a lot. Fear of what other would think and then do (as in report to the Police a child on his own etc...) because it is seen as unacceptable.

But Bertie surely the view of social services is way down the list of things to consider... what matters is a risk/ benefit assessment of the situation in question:

It would be possible for my 7 year old to get to school by bus. What are the benefits to the child and to me, and what are the risks, and how great are those risks and benefits (some risks are vanishingly unlikely to happen and can be discounted to all intents and purposes - bus spontaneously combusting or being hijacked and made into the subject of a film..., some are very unlikely but can be prepared for (stranger danger, bus breaking down), some are real possibilities (child not getting a seat and having to wobble about standing up with school bag risking injury if bus stops suddenly, child missing stop, child being afraid for some reason on the bus, child being made uncomfortable by another passenger) and should be the ones making the difference to whether the journey is allowed or not.

"SS will get you if something happens" is stupid - what matters is whether there is a realistic risk of that vague, threatened "something" happening!

I started getting the bus to school alone when I was 7-8 (year 3), i walked down the road to the stop where there would be a bunch of kids waiting for the bus and never any parents. It was a public bus but they did that thing where they run the same bus twice 5 minutes apart and one is the 'school bus' which stops at the school gates but anyone could get on if they really wanted to. It cost 25p for a return!

But then I was a sensible kid and the only time I was alone was on the 2 minute walk to the bus stop and everyone knew everyone in our neighbourhood. If you've got a good set up like I did it would be fine, but a normal bus and no gate drop off would be a bit much for a 7 year old I think.

In many countries like Germany, Switzerland and Japan, parents would be amazed if a 7 year old couldn't get a bus alone, and deal with any problems that might occur.

No, not on public transport.

I don't see it as a 'shame', either, or their being denied 'experiences'. It's not the 70s anymore, and they weren't all that great, anyway.

Problems I have encountered with my kids getting buses on their own include -
falling asleep, missing their stop and not knowing where they were when they woke up
bus driver not stopping to pick them up.

I guess it depends on where you live, how often the buses are, who else travels on them, how long the journey is.