Oh, he/she'll eat anything

[Enb76]

Bit of a rant cos I have had a shitty day. When asked what my child eats I say "everything except courgettes, cucumber and melon". I am quite specific. When I ask, I get, "oh, they eat everything". I do my shopping safe in the knowledge that they'll eat everything, or at least give stuff a go.

I don't cook 'kid' food, no nuggets for example, no fish fingers, no baked beans. Mostly this is because I am a single parent and eat when my child does so we eat food that I like. That said, when other peoples' children come over, I play it safe, no lamb shanks, no Thai-style salmon parcels, no curry but I thought I'd be safe today with prawn stir-fry to discover that actually, the child who eats everything, doesn't eat noodles, doesn't eat peppers, doesn't eat prawns, doesn't like onions.

I'd like to think that I would say 'she's not particularly adventurous yet, she'll be happy with...' if my child had a limited palate and someone specifically asked what they ate.

Am I being unreasonable to expect people to actually tell me their child's preferences if I ask?

If a parent said their child ate anything, I would expect that to mean they eat anything that appears on a school dinner menu.

I would never have dreamed of not eating what I was given at a friends house as a child.

I like cooking. I still think that if you are asked what your child eats, you shouldn't say 'everything' if they are going to turn their nose up at whole food groups. If they only eat peas and carrots, tell me that - I'm quite happy not to cook what my child would consider an absolute treat but other children would think was vile.

If I know a child is fussy, then I can ask the child what they would like but to be told 'he eats everything' I would assume there wasn't much they didn't eat - then to be told that practically every ingredient is a problem, it annoyed me.

Seven, neither would I.

Neither would I, Enb and Seven, but I think if you're like that you're lucky. Some people really gag on certain things if they don't like them, and literally can't get them down.

YABu. Well done you for having non fussy children. I think my kids are not very fussy, they eat anything I make and never have an issue with choosing food on a menu in a restaurant (for the exception of DS2 who doesn't eat any tomato-based sauce, no ketchup, etc but he eats fresh tomatoes...).

However if they were served something completely new that I never ever make (think moussaka, or dahl, or Thai curry, or I absolutely hate cauliflower and I am not even sure they know what it is) they might not eat it. So what?

So what I ask parents is 'would he/she like pasta bolognaise' or even more specific 'what is your child's favourite meal' and make that instead. I would absolutely hate to list all the bits that my children may not like or that they may not have tried yet.

FWIW, i was a very fussy child and hated going to other people's houses for dinner. I used to line up all the veg I didn't like on the edge of my plate, and received many comments about how fussy I was... I hated it!

That would annoy me too. If a child doesn't like onions I would expect to be told that if I asked the parent. I put onions in loads of things!

My kids are not fussy, but if I was asked if there is anything they don't eat I would tell you specifics: DC1 does not eat mashed potato or butter on sandwiches, DC2 can't stand mushrooms, DC3 will not eat raw tomatoes or peppers. None of them will tolerate aubergines or courgettes.

I have one kid who will eat anything and one who would happily live on chicken nuggets and tomato sauce (he's getting better since he hit his teens though). When we had their friends over from primary school years, we stuck to "kid food". These days we say, it's pasta is there any sauce you don't like? Or we're barbecuing, anything you'd rather not have? Do you eat meat?

Mackerel I concentrated on praising her for trying it, and didn't point out I would have struggled with it! You've either got prawns and cheese, which is wrong, or no cheese, in which case - prawn-flavour egg. Ick.

But how is the parent to know what you consider a treat, or even a normal meal, in your family? Everyone eats differently. We have fish curry, dhal and devilled kidneys as staples in our house, our 3yo loves them all. Those would be a pretty "normal" meal for us. But they probably aren't a standard meal for many other families. Just as they have prawn stir fry as a regular meal, when that's unheard of in our house.

YABU. It's not even about fussiness. Kids are just like adults, they have likes and dislikes. What's easier for everyone involved - you saying what you are thinking of serving and asking if that's something a child likes, or the parent having to give a detailed list of all the foods their child either doesn't eat or has never really tasted so they don't know if they'll like it or not?

Seven but what on Earth is wrong with not eating things you can't or don't want to eat? What about children with dietary restrictions or sensory/textural issues? Should autistic children just not be invited round for tea?

It isn't hard to check. Children have likes and dislikes just like adults, and there's nothing wrong with that.