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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask for your help formulating some evil passive aggressive payback (lighthearted...I think...)

73 replies

solidarityplease · 17/10/2015 21:15

Hate my neighbours. Fucking hate them.

Selfish, Selfish bastards. We live in an Edwardian terrace but they behave like they live in a detached in the middle of nowhere.
Impossibly loud bassy music at all times of the day, smoking weed in their house which filters through all the nooks and crannies into ours, slamming doors (even on the way in) at stupid o'clock (so loudly that our mantel trembles), parties before and after going out, parking like inconsiderate twats on a street that has hardly any parking spaces anyway. I could go on.

We kept our mouths shut before we had DC but after trying to calm our 4 week old baby being kept awake by them I'd just about had enough.

We had words. I wrote a note as I couldn't trust myself not to lose it with them after that. They pleaded innocence, didn't realise it was so loud etc etc. But still it continues. They do not give a shit. I have actually apologised in the past to them if DC ever disturbs them and we do try so hard to make as little noise as possible. Don't know why we bother. We are so miserable at times because of them.

I'm sitting here pissed off as my bath I was looking forward to all day has just been ruined by them blasting shit music through the walls.

Help me piss them off please.
We're moving soon (Yippee!) And I would dearly love to piss them off, a nice fuck you gesture.
Just to clarify, this is pure fantasy, I'm obviously too chicken to actually do it the much bigger person.

OP posts:
StarkyTheDirewolf · 18/10/2015 21:47

Regina the OP specifically said she wasn't actually going to do anything drastic as ahe is he much bigger person in this. By putting lighthearted in the thread, it does suggest that she wanted silly answers. I didn't really mean she should actually take up the bagpipes as I hear they're cumbersome and unwieldy. I don't think she wanted sensible answers.

Booyaka · 18/10/2015 21:52

Buy your kids some extremely noisy toys. Drum kit in the house, electric guitar. Garden toys that make wheeees and bangs. Allow them to play with these toys as early as you want. At the weekend, for a few weeks, have day trips where you leave the house very early. Crank the stereo up and go out. After a couple of weeks hopefully they will get the message.

wasonthelist · 18/10/2015 21:58

Frozen sausages hammered into their lawn. (works best in Summer but worth a go).

GasLIghtShining · 18/10/2015 22:51

Someone I knew who had loud neighbours went out early for the day and left the music on extra loud.

chocafrolic · 18/10/2015 23:04

If you fancy some peace tell them, or note through door, that did they know their house is under police surveillance. If they're doing drugs this'll make them paranoid enough to be cautious and keep quiet.
I was one of those arseholes in a past life and believe me they won't be giving you a second thought but the threat of the old bill might. Good luck!!

GiddyOnZackHunt · 18/10/2015 23:16

Ooh yes I was going to suggest that there might be some gap in the attic wall that would allow you to carry out discreet revenge. On moving day lob a pound of frozen prawns through the gap.

RaspberryOverload · 19/10/2015 20:29

wasonthelist
Frozen sausages hammered into their lawn. (works best in Summer but worth a go).

I think I'm being a bit thick today, but what does this do?

solidarityplease · 19/10/2015 21:06

Oh my god, the sausage one!
That is hands down the funniest thing I've read for a very long time.
Not even sure why its tickling me so much. What a mental image.....

I'm guessing it's vermin/stench related raspberry. I don't even care, I just know I need to do it.Grin

OP posts:
solidarityplease · 19/10/2015 21:07

Thank you everyone, you've given me a lot to think (and laugh) about.

I jest of course.....

OP posts:
Skullyton · 19/10/2015 21:43

we did it to our neighbours...

get the biggest, loudest amp you can find, put a cd or playlist on loop, wire it through the amp/speaker at high volume.

Go out for the day.

make sure you do it very early after a late party.

solidarityplease · 14/11/2015 12:48

Just a little update......
Aforementioned asshole neighbours have just popped a note through our door expressing an interest in buying our house.
Oh goodness...
Does this mean we potentially need to hammer frozen sausages into our own lawn?!

OP posts:
TillITookAnArrowToTheKnee · 14/11/2015 12:57

Are you in a student area? If so, rent it out to students - they will play them at their own game!

Glitter bombs.

Loads of junk mail.

Get a burner phone and top up voucher from a shop, post ads on Gumtree etc as suggested above.

Report them to the police for the drugs. I would have done that almost immediately tbh, I cant understand why weed seems to be a socially acceptable drug to some.

Bang some Slipknot on full whack with an amp against the wall and have a weekend away.

Arfarfanarf · 14/11/2015 13:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

solidarityplease · 14/11/2015 13:19

Ha! I don't know what to think!
My mind is racing with possibilities.......Grin

OP posts:
CatThiefKeith · 14/11/2015 13:22

Did you know that many reptile shops sell cockroaches as 'live food'? I have often fantasised about pouring 500 roaches through my ex's letterbox.

BoneyBackJefferson · 14/11/2015 13:22

solidarityplease
"Just a little update......
Aforementioned asshole neighbours have just popped a note through our door expressing an interest in buying our house."

On the face on it a good thing, but it also means that if they are serious they could damage any potential sales.

evilcherub · 14/11/2015 13:23

Do they own or are they renting?

CatThiefKeith · 14/11/2015 13:24

Imagine the fun you could have if they bought your house! Grin

solidarityplease · 14/11/2015 13:30

I know Cat! I've felt all giddy since I read the note!

They're renting the house next door at the moment.

Oh, don't say that Boney Sad I just want out of here and away from them!

OP posts:
MatildaTheCat · 14/11/2015 13:50

OP, if you sell to the NDN you do know you must enter any info on neighbour disputes on the legal work? Grin

Sounds a fabulous option and an opportunity to leave the, a welcome gift or two...

mmgirish · 14/11/2015 15:27

I had neighbours like this at uni. Once they had kept us up all night so the following evening we hatched a plan. We put a CD player beside the wall and played Whitney Houston - I will always love you, on repeat ALL NIGHT! We were all going out. Very satisfying.

Twirlywoooo · 14/11/2015 16:48

I had a nightmare neighbour, I lived in halls and she would listen to Heavy metal most days. It would have been fine if the volume wasn't set at 'so loud the walls would rattle'. I was on placement and had just finished a set of nights. My 'neighbour' came back, slammed her door and the music started. I decided to play her at her own game, she hated a certain annoying Simply Red song. I bought the CD single, set it to repeat, cranked up the volume, and went out for a long walk.

Pleasure at the fairground on the way...

Rpj16 · 14/11/2015 16:58

OP, have you seen that film 'bad neighbours'?? Watch for some inspiration ;)

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