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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DH gave me the same present as last year

90 replies

thesunonlyshinesonTV · 17/10/2015 20:20

Last year for my birthday DH got me a silver diamanté necklace and matching earrings all very nice.

This year he asked me what I wanted and I said some more jewellery as I have hardly any. So I opened the box and it is exactly the same set as last year. I did not saying anything at the time but am still a bit bewildered.

Is this a man thing? would you have said anything.

OP posts:

Original poster

thesunonlyshinesonTV · 17/10/2015 22:38

Some great stories.

Yes I suspect they can't be returned as earrings often can't.

I better tell them, or I will get the same set each year.

I might buy a few of the same birthday card next year for DH and give him the same one for a few years.

OP posts:

NewLife4Me · 17/10/2015 22:38

My dh would do this, he would have no clue.
Just tell him and go together to choose a replacement. While you're out have a nice lunch together.

JeffreySadsacIsUnwell · 17/10/2015 22:45

Miscellaneous They don't think kindly and carefully about their own needs! My DH gets chocolate and beer every birthday and is always happy . And since DC1 was born, wrong timing and rather traumatically, just before his (big) birthday, and I gave him a baby with a ribbon tied round its tummy due to lack of shopping time, he has also had one DC, now two DC, wearing big bows every birthday. They insist on wrapping themselves up - and amazingly, he manages to look delighted and surprised.

DH brings me a cup of tea every morning. If I leave something downstairs and only remember after getting into bed, he will always get up uncomplainingly, go downstairs and fetch it for me. Every meal I cook, no matter how shit, is always his favourite. Presents don't really matter, it's the little things that all add up.

CocktailQueen · 17/10/2015 22:48

Jeffrey, your dh sounds lovely!

Am a bit at all these people with crap memories...

I keep a list of all the pressies I buy everyone for bday and Xmas every year - helps me stop making the same mistake - I hope...

Sparkletastic · 17/10/2015 22:53

My SIL gave me a bottle of Benetint 3 years in a row. It's crap anyway and not for the middle aged. In the end I gave one back to her 'because you obviously like it so much'

welshHairs · 17/10/2015 22:58

Love this thread, some of these stories are so funny! I agree about the lack of thought in some cases. Although I think the dad who nearly bought a pp the same book four years running sounds very sweet.

Dp tells me that his mum once bought him the exact same obscure figurine two years in a row actually. I have a terrible memory but don't think I've ever made this kind of mistake!

flashheartscanoe · 17/10/2015 23:08

One year my DH gave me a top that was already mine. I had thought I'd lost it, then it appeared as my Christmas present. When I asked him about it he said,"oh, that explains it, I didn't think I remembered buying that" ???

OutToGetYou · 18/10/2015 01:15

For those who say men ought to be able to tell cos they can tell for their own stuff.....er, no. Dp has several pairs of trousers exactly the same as each other. He'll come home and show me his new trousers. I'll say, but you've got ten pairs of those. Yes, I like them, he says.
Same with shoes. Several pairs the same.
I honestly don't think he can tell at all.

Bogeyface · 18/10/2015 02:35

It could be worse! My father once rang me and then my sister to discuss the fact that he wanted to give my mum a pearl necklace for her birthday, did we think she would like it and could we remember if he gave her one last year. Those words.

The subsequent phone call between me and her was mainly snorting, trying to catch our breath and laughing so hard we wee'd!

BikeRunSki · 18/10/2015 06:16

We need to adopt my aunt's approach. Many years ago my uncle gave her a BBC Micro ( apologies to younger readers!) for her birthday. 3 weeks later she gave him some pearl earrings for his.

Doraydiego · 18/10/2015 06:50

Buying the same present is weird, but who really notices the same CARD? Now that is really weird.

EmberElftree · 18/10/2015 09:26

I got the same card from dh a few days ago for my birthday. I keep all his cards because I'm sentimental and he writes lovely things in them. Can't remember when he gave me the last one but said he'd given it to me before and he said yeah I thought that it looked familiar!

helenahandbag · 18/10/2015 09:33

Not quite the same but my mum and auntie have such similar tastes that they once bought each other the same Christmas present they live an hour away from each other, have totally different circles of friends and only see each other a few times a year but more than once have turned up to family events wearing the same top. It's weird.

Please tell your DH, OP. I keep laughing at the thought of him buying you the same gift two years running but I know I'd actually be annoyed if it happened to me.

KoalaDownUnder · 18/10/2015 09:38

BikeRunSki, that is awesome!!

BeanIontach · 18/10/2015 09:38

That's ridiculous!

I remember one year, I was hurt when my x bought me a big jewellery box. He'd never bought me any jewellery. For some reason that hurt. It was like a coded message to leave him.

I'd tell him. And tell him sorry but you're going to go out and buy yourself something, something you chose. That way it'll be nice!

I'm so fussy with jewellery, I rarely like things other people have chosen. FAR better to choose jewellery yourself.

Muckogy · 18/10/2015 10:27

i would have no problem telling him that's the second time he gave you this gift.
and then i would try to return/exchange the gift.
men are useless at stuff like this. they never seem to notice anything.

Muckogy · 18/10/2015 10:32

Lweji · 18/10/2015 10:36

At this point, I think I'd make a big fuss out of all the jewellery he had bought me both years, would bring out both sets and see if they spotted the, ahem, similarity.

riverboat1 · 18/10/2015 10:43

I expect he thought they were a safe bet as regards to being to your taste as they were 'like' the set you already had...except as it turns out, rather TOO much like!

You definitely have to show him both sets side by side and wait for the penny to drop.

Muckogy · 18/10/2015 10:48

2 posts - stupid laptop.

OutToGetYou · 18/10/2015 11:16

Oh, I once got a 'new job' card from a friend, was describing it to another friend, as it was funny, and she said (stonily) "I got you that for your birthday last year". I hadn't remembered. It sounded familiar when she said it though.....

MustBeThursday · 18/10/2015 12:38

Not quite the same thing but one Christmas, I bought my mom Mamma Mia on DVD, as she likes Meryl Streep but didn't get to see it at the pictures. All good - although as I was about to buy it, a housemate had ordered it for his mom but found out she already had it, so I reimbursed him for it rather than ordering one and sending his back.

Come Christmas morning, Mom has 3 DVD shaped packages - one each from me, my brother and my stepdad. All of them Mamma Mia the one year I didn't do all of the wrapping for them!

(Incidentally, she did enjoy the film!)

PreemptiveSalvageEngineer · 19/10/2015 19:13

Maybe this is DH's way of saying he'd like a threesome?

twixxy · 19/10/2015 19:14

My OH came back from the shops with a magazine for me yesterday. Which was a lovely thought but the one he chose was one I have had on subscription FOR FIVE YEARS. And that particular copy had been on my bedside table for a fortnight. Still, as the man in the shop said when I went back to change it, at least he knows what you like. Ps this is the third time it's happened

captaincake · 19/10/2015 19:15

I once opened a present from a boyfriend and before I opened it he said "I have a feeling you might already have this but I wasn't sure so just say if you do and I'll exchange it" I didn't have it. He said he had such a strong feeling after he'd wrapped it up that I already had it, no idea where that had come from. Oh well.

Move on to the second present he'd bought me. Exactly the same as the first present. So that's where he got that feeling from.

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