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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To complain to school about my dd's detention?

45 replies

Bogeybrains · 16/10/2015 21:54

My 7 year old DD who has sen issues which causes her a lot of anxiety problems got given a detention today because she forgot her games kit. I felt so sorry for her. She came out of school with tears in her eyes. Since she started juniors in September, he has been fretting about detention as it is a whole new concept for her and worries about getting her homework done and makes sure she is well behaved. She is a summer born and not even been 7 that long - surely it is my fault she has not got her games kit, not hers. I know it was my fault for forgetting but surely a note home would have sufficed?

OP posts:
Jaxsbum · 16/10/2015 21:55

Can you not just refuse for her to attend

MrPorky · 16/10/2015 21:56

I'd check the details, detention at 7yo for forgetting kit seems very unusual harsh

TigerFeat · 16/10/2015 21:57

I think this is a bit over the top, unless you mean Yr7.

At my dc Primary school they have to pull something out of the lost property box to wear pe if they haven't got a kit in school, and they don't give detentions for anything. Does her kit not stay in school all the time?

AndNowItsSeven · 16/10/2015 21:58

Age 7, that's ridiculous of course you should complain.

Cookingongas · 16/10/2015 21:59

Yanbu!!! 7?!?! Detention?!? No, not on, not on at all. It is your responsibility not hers and teacher knows that! My dd is 7 year 3 and the only unanimous thing discussed at parents evening was games kit. Teacher had noted how many times not taken in 6 weeks and we were effectively given scores - mrs jones you only supplied kit 2/6 times Shock well done mrs Thomas 6/6!! The parents, not the children were chastised.

WorraLiberty · 16/10/2015 22:01

Do you mean she was kept in at playtime, or was it a proper after school detention?

Either way, no 7yr old should be given a detention for forgetting a PE kit.

I think at that age it's down to the parents to remember.

Original poster
Bogeybrains · 16/10/2015 22:02

Can't refuse attendance as she has already had it. They kept her in at last playtime to punish her hence the tears at hometime. For some reason the children were sent home in their PE kit yesterday. She was meant to go in in trackies today but I was working late and forgot.

OP posts:
MrPorky · 16/10/2015 22:04

Honestly, are you sure that's why she was kept in? I'd be amazed if she was the only on who forgot in those circumstances.

TigerFeat · 16/10/2015 22:05

I would definitely ask why they thought this was ok.

dontrunwithscissors · 16/10/2015 22:06

Your poor DD. I think that's completely inappropriate. I opened the thread expecting some precious mother to be complaining about her teenager being given detention. I would definitely complain. I'm all of children taking responsibility for stuff, but detention for something like that is far too harsh. What do they do when a kid is really naughty?

catfordbetty · 16/10/2015 22:11

She missed one playtime.

deriT · 16/10/2015 22:13

Is it a normal primary? A school I know would do that but is a prep.

Original poster
Bogeybrains · 16/10/2015 22:15

It's not just about missing playtime though catfordbetty, it is about her being made to feel 'naughty' and punished over something she has no control of.

OP posts:
Stillunexpected · 16/10/2015 22:16

Very inappropriate. I would definitely complain. Next thing they'll be giving detention if children arrive late at school, despite that also being very much the responsibility of the parent at that age. Is detention even a thing at primary school?

Original poster
Bogeybrains · 16/10/2015 22:18

Yes it is a normal primary school. I heard from dd that some of the other children had been given detentions for stuff and she has been really worrying about it. I just assumed the detentions being handed out were for bad behaviour.

OP posts:
Isitchristmasyet4 · 16/10/2015 22:22

That's so sad Sad god love her. You should definitely go up and have a word, show the teacher that this isn't on and you won't stand for it.

iguanadonna · 16/10/2015 22:25

YANBU. What part of her behaviour does the teacher think this punishment will change?

rollonthesummer · 16/10/2015 22:26

I've never worked in a primary scohol that gave detentions!?

GinandJag · 16/10/2015 22:27

My DD1 always "forgot" her PE kit when she was in state primary.

She hated PE and loved the library. Result!

dontrunwithscissors · 16/10/2015 22:31

At the start of every year, DDs' school sends around a detailed explanation of the way they discipline children--generally through losing 'golden time'. They don't use detentions for any of the children (an I'm in Scotland so children don't go to secondary until they're 12.)

I really do think a detention is utterly inappropriate for a child that age, but it sounds like this runs much deeper than a one-off event.

yummumto3girls · 16/10/2015 22:37

If my 7 year old DD was given a detention I would go spare, totally age inappropriate. Never heard of it at primary...for a reason!

GruntledOne · 16/10/2015 22:39

Is the school an academy?

dontrunwithscissors · 16/10/2015 22:46

As far as I'm concerned, this goes beyond a one-off event and speaks to the school management.

ForChina · 16/10/2015 22:49

Totally, totally inappropriate. I would be extremely angry.

dontrunwithscissors · 16/10/2015 22:51

Sorry, I repeated myself Blush