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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aib over sensitive?

37 replies

Coldcupofcoffeepieceofcake · 16/10/2015 21:31

Second driving lesson today and my instructor got a bit shouty with me doing hill starts Confused

I was clearly trying and was doing my best but kept instinctively putting the clutch back down on a couple. Each time I braked so the car barely rolled. Eventually after a couple of tries I succeeded and did it.

She admitted she could see I was trying but then looked at me and laughed asking if I knew I was hard work?

I laughed it off but feel quite upset and embarrassed... She also asked me to listen more and then when I admitted I was really trying, said oh I know you are really Hmm

I don't get it!! Anyone feel like their DI can be a bit unsupportive at times? Or am I being silly?

OP posts:
PippaPug · 16/10/2015 21:35

Change instructor! Not worth that stress

beepbeep · 16/10/2015 21:35

Get a new instructor - you need to feel comfortable with them, you are definitely not bring silly!

VimFuego101 · 16/10/2015 21:37

hill starts on your second driving lesson? Sounds like you're making good progress to me. I don't think I'd got out of second gear by my second lesson.

Original poster
Coldcupofcoffeepieceofcake · 16/10/2015 21:37

Thanks! I was just reading back through my post and thought I sounded ridiculous actually, it's a relief to know I'm not being stupid. I just feel like I would work better if she was calmer with me. I'm not a natural but not a terrible driver and find it really stressful when she raises her voice Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
Coldcupofcoffeepieceofcake · 16/10/2015 21:38

Thanks vim, sorry second lesson with her! Haha wish I was that good, I had about ten hours a year ago and am coming back to driving!

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 16/10/2015 21:38

You need to change instructors.

She sounds a fucking nightmare and definitely not what you want if it's leaving you feeling upset and embarrassed.

I can understand one being firm if they think your in a tight situation and it's dangerous, but not taking the piss like that.

miaowroar · 16/10/2015 21:38

Learned to drive 38 years ago and I HATED my instructor. In fact I still do. I was only young then so never dared say anything, but I wish I had just changed to another instructor.

I think if she does it again, you could prepare something to say like "that isn't very encouraging - as you know, I am doing my best".

After all, she is supposed to be instructing you and therefore should have more patience.

Quietlifenotonyournelly · 16/10/2015 21:38

It's years since I had my driving lessons and the instructor I had was fantastic. I think that you should maybe find someone else, it's not going to do your confidence any good if she is getting 'shouty' with you.
Good luck with future lessons Smile

gobbin · 16/10/2015 21:39

Find a different instructor. You're paying for a decent level of service, which includes being treated respectfully. She doesn't deserve your cash. If you're feeling brave, tell her that you don't like her approach. If not, just tell her you've decided to leave it for now.

Seeyounearertime · 16/10/2015 21:40

I wouldn't change instructors tbh. I'd stick with her.
Teaching someone to drive is hard and sometimes you have to be firm, you can't always be softly softly in afraid.

mummy92 · 16/10/2015 21:42

I had a male instructor and I found him better than my female di was more patient

Paintedhandprints · 16/10/2015 21:45

Yanbu. Find a new instructor. Being shouted at and embarrassed is not what you are paying her for.

laundryeverywhere · 16/10/2015 21:47

Yes change, if you are having trouble she could have moved you on to something else and come back to hill starts later.

SchnooSchnoo · 16/10/2015 21:49

Oh god, she sounds like my instructor! She used to get really annoyed with me. One time she said 'why can't you just drive?!' I was actually too scared of her to ditch her (nonsensical, I know) but I wish I had, I would have learnt quicker. Luckily I passed first time, when I eventually did go for my test!

rosieliveson1 · 16/10/2015 21:52

I had a driving instructor yell out and grab the wheel saying I was too close to a parked car. I wasn't. I was a very nervous learner and had to pull over to cry. It was only my second lesson. He apologised for over reacting but said it was a new car!!!
I never took another lesson from him again!

I don't think you're being sensitive. She was being harsh.

Memyselfandthatotherperson · 16/10/2015 21:53

She's not an AA one from North Yorks is she?? Sounds just like a thing my first instructor would say. Thankfully I swapped (after 30 hours of her teaching me f all), got a new instructor and swiftly got test ready and passed first time. You need a DI that will build your confidence. Mine, in hindsight, was holding me back so she could get more money out of me.

Isitchristmasyet4 · 16/10/2015 22:00

Aw poor you? She sounds mean. Change instructor because driving is all about confidence and she is ruining yours Smile good luck with your lessons OPFlowers

SaveOurBogBrushes · 16/10/2015 22:03

Are you in Devon? I had an awful woman who shouted at me and belittled my driving - I passed my test less than 2 months after she told me I "wouldn't be tested in her car and ruining my reputation".

Original poster
Coldcupofcoffeepieceofcake · 16/10/2015 22:03

Thanks all! I was worrying I was being a bit dramatic. I can be heavy on the clutch and sometimes stall etc, and she once commented after a lesson "who was that more painful for, me or you?" And then laughed! Just feel a bit over it really!

OP posts:
Original poster
Coldcupofcoffeepieceofcake · 16/10/2015 22:05

She also shouts at me when I stall in traffic queues. I know this is very very annoying for other drivers but the shouting is stressful. I then end up stalling more and it's just awful

OP posts:
Anniegetyourgun · 16/10/2015 22:05

Teaching someone to drive is hard and sometimes you have to be firm, you can't always be softly softly in afraid.

Being firm is one thing. Being insulting is another. "You are hard work" is a personal remark which has no place in a professional relationship.

PixieChops · 16/10/2015 22:05

She sounds like a right condescending twat. Get rid and find someone else. No way would I put up with that shite, I'd be shouty back.
Seriously though find someone else my DI was such a lovely man and he only ever panicked a couple of times with me and never shouted. He was very supportive and even when I did fuck up he's use the sand which approach so as not to completely knock my confidence. I passed first time with him and he's taught my sibling, mum and currently my DP.

patterkiller · 16/10/2015 22:07

Most definitely change. Dd1 is a nervous learner but she really feels at ease with her instructor. It's made a big difference to her confidence which matters when you're learning.

uglyswan · 16/10/2015 22:08

What the hell? She shouldn't be shouting at you - that's incredibly unprofessional!

dontrunwithscissors · 16/10/2015 22:08

YANBU--change.