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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aib over sensitive?

37 replies

Coldcupofcoffeepieceofcake · 16/10/2015 21:31

Second driving lesson today and my instructor got a bit shouty with me doing hill starts Confused

I was clearly trying and was doing my best but kept instinctively putting the clutch back down on a couple. Each time I braked so the car barely rolled. Eventually after a couple of tries I succeeded and did it.

She admitted she could see I was trying but then looked at me and laughed asking if I knew I was hard work?

I laughed it off but feel quite upset and embarrassed... She also asked me to listen more and then when I admitted I was really trying, said oh I know you are really Hmm

I don't get it!! Anyone feel like their DI can be a bit unsupportive at times? Or am I being silly?

OP posts:
Anniegetyourgun · 16/10/2015 22:09

As for shouting, it can make a nervous learner freeze up, which can be actually dangerous. At least you're only stalling.

Definitely get yourself someone calmer, I'd say.

Iflyaway · 16/10/2015 22:12

Unprofresional Biatch.

Why pay for someone to put you down. Fuck that.

FindoGask · 16/10/2015 22:14

she sounds really awful - not doing you any favours at all.

My driving instructor was excellent. He was 70, a former examiner, and cool as a cucumber under pressure; I was a very nervy student and he put me at ease. He had a tired but cherished roster of shit repartee he would work through during each lesson and I was quite fond of him really. I also passed first time.

DisappointedOne · 16/10/2015 22:14

Do you understand how the bits in the car work, eg what the clutch actually does? It might help.

moopymoodle · 16/10/2015 22:21

No way should she make you feel like that, she's knocking your confidence. Why are you doing hill starts on your 2nd lesson? I was doing basics then like gears and stopping and starting!

Original poster
Coldcupofcoffeepieceofcake · 16/10/2015 22:22

Yes I do disappointed, thanks though, I understand the theory behind it (it disengages the clutch from the wheels when it's down right?) but was getting increasingly more nervous and my instinct to make the car stop rolling was to lower the clutch as you do when stopping

Out of interest, how do other people's instructors behave in similar situations? Don't really have anything else to compare it to, thought this was par for the course!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Coldcupofcoffeepieceofcake · 16/10/2015 22:23

Moopy technically it's my 12th hour as I'm returning to driving after a break - second lesson with her. Wish I was that good Grin

OP posts:
Anniegetyourgun · 16/10/2015 22:30

My driving instructor was a tiny old man who was so calm he was practically horizontal. I did however benefit from a couple of more robust instructors near test time, who were less nurturing and more chatty, so driving seemed like just something you do rather than a Big Special Thing, if that makes sense.

My dad insisted on taking my sister out for a practice and shouted "BRAKE!" at her so loudly and suddenly she nearly drove through a shop window. They both returned traumatised. Shortly afterwards she started lessons with a reputable driving school (same one as I attended iirc). We both passed first time, to our father's huge astonishment.

Original poster
Coldcupofcoffeepieceofcake · 16/10/2015 22:33

Sorry disappointed that should obviously say it disengages the engine from the wheels!!

Thanks annie, good to know, someone calmer would be a dream.

She has a habit of making little comments related to how difficult I apparently am and I honestly don't think I am, just average I think! I mean surely its her job to correct me and teach me??

OP posts:
Goldmandra · 16/10/2015 22:45

There is absolutely no need to be sharp in your tone or insulting in any way when teaching someone to drive.

Shouting at someone is going to cause them stress and make it much harder for them to process language and information. It is totally counter-productive.

My DD1 passed her test without either her driving instructor or me (who spent many hours sitting with her) having to use even a slightly sharp tone. I had to tell her once very clearly to "Slow down now" when she misjudged the speed she should approach a police officer standing in the road by an accident on a country lane in the dark and heavy rain. Even then, she didn't feel in the slightest bit told off or shouted at.

You need to find a different instructor who doesn't make you feel insulted and anxious. Then you will be able to concentrate and use their guidance constructively to help you make adjustments to your driving rather than feeling shot down in flames and incompetent.

Original poster
Coldcupofcoffeepieceofcake · 16/10/2015 22:51

Thanks so much everyone.

I basically just feel quite undermined when she's with me.

I have mentioned to her that when I panic I find it difficult to process information, and she agreed but I just feel a bit overwhelmed with it now. Eg when we were doing roundabouts, she didn't sit me down to explain it with me but just expected me to know what to do, and then raised her voice when I made a mistake...

OP posts:
Goldmandra · 16/10/2015 23:19

Cold please get shot of her.

She is not a good instructor.

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