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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be annoyed about dd being kept in at break time?

44 replies

Welshmaenad · 16/10/2015 18:37

Dd is nine. She has cp and some additional learning needs and us on school action plus. She has some 1:1 support, usually in the afternoons, and is doing amazingly well in a mainstream setting. She's obviously quite new to yr 5 but her report at the end of yr 4 praised her work ethic and whenever I ran into her teacher she'd rave about how diligent and hard working she was. Just adding this info so I'm not accused of parental bias - she is a committed and hard working, well behaved little girl.

On Tuesday she came home and said that she and several others had not quite finished some work on the iPads they had been doing - this seemed to consist of thinking up questions and googling the answers, from what I can gather. She said the teacher said they would finish this work in Thursday in their break time. I was pretty sure she had misunderstood, and the teacher was away on s planned absence on Wednesday. She came home on Thursday and said they had been kept in for their whole break time to do the work.

I'm seriously not happy about this. More so than other children she needs to go outside and move around as much as she can, or her limbs get stiff. We're also gently working on extra activity for her as she has gained a little weight (not making a big deal of this with her at all as I don't want to create anxiety, but I'm trying to work more manageable exercise into her life as subtley as I can).

I feel that if the teacher can't manage timekeeping in class and ensure activities are finished appropriately, this is her issue, not the children's, and they shouldn't be punished for being a little slower to complete tasks? It was at a time when dd was without her 1:1 worker.

I have parenting evening next week and am wondering if and how to raise this issue and make it clear I don't want it repeated?

OP posts:
TheTroubleWithAngels · 16/10/2015 18:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty · 16/10/2015 18:42

I think before you make it clear you don't want it repeated, you need to hear the teacher's side of things.

Once you have, you can take it from there.

I wouldn't mention her weight gain as a reason to never keep her in at playtime though. If everyone with an overweight child did that, there would be chaos I imagine.

LindyHemming · 16/10/2015 18:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty · 16/10/2015 18:43

By 'chaos' I mean the teacher trying to work out who's slim enough to be kept in, and the other kids noticing that the overweight kids were given different punishments.

A bit of a mine field.

Moln · 16/10/2015 18:44

When you see the teacher, ask her about it (two sides to every story) and explain the importance of break time for your daughter.

Original poster
Welshmaenad · 16/10/2015 18:47

Perhaps I haven't explained myself very well - I don't think nine year olds should be 'punished' by being deprived of playtime because they had insufficient time or support to complete an activity during class time.

The school are well aware of dd's need for regular movement breaks, she's been there for five years and they have worked closely with her physio and OT; which means I'm particularly annoyed that she was denied a break, but I don't think any of them should be kept in.

OP posts:
hiccupgirl · 16/10/2015 18:48

I would go in carefully as you don't know why she didn't complete the iPad work in the allowed time. It could be that there was too much work for her to realistically complete in the time, but equally it could be that her group was chatting or not focusing on what they were doing and that's why they didn't finish it. Even the most diligent and hard working children can slip now and again.

I would agree with her needing be moving around at break time to avoid stiffness etc but if she didn't finish the work because she wasn't on task, then it's not fair if she doesn't miss break with the others. And it was only 1 break time, not an ongoing punishment.

WorraLiberty · 16/10/2015 18:50

But it may not have been because they had insufficient time or support to complete an activity during class time.

This is what you need to check first, just in case they were fooling about etc.

LindyHemming · 16/10/2015 18:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RealityCheque · 16/10/2015 18:53

Yanbu.

Please ignore all the crappy advice on here. You are correct - it isn't acceptable at all. And given your daughters SNs I would not even bother discussing it with the teacher, I would go straight to the head and make it crystal clear that there is to be no repeat.

TheTroubleWithAngels · 16/10/2015 18:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

catfordbetty · 16/10/2015 18:56

She ... is doing amazingly well in a mainstream setting

Perhaps bear that in mind before you go in to kick ass?

TheoriginalLEM · 16/10/2015 18:58

You have my sympathy - my DD is dyslexic so struggles to complete work. I have had to seriously throw my toys to stop her being kept in at break to finish things. The teacher didn't seem to understand that it takes her so much longer to do things, she finds it hard to organise her time and because she has to work sooo much harder than others to keep up, she gets tired and needs her breaks. I would imagine this would be even more the case for your DD. I wouldn't accept it, does it actually matter if she doesn't get the work done? of course not - in the grand scheme of things, its trivial. Her getting out and getting fresh air and exercise supersedes this totally.

Original poster
Welshmaenad · 16/10/2015 19:00

In the case of dd I am confident that it wasn't a case of messing about or not focusing. She doesn't mess about, really she doesn't, she's obsessive about concentrating on her work. She sets herself and completes extra homework for fun. I asked her why she didn't finish the work and she said she just ran out of time.

I'd have been quite happy if they'd asked her to finish it at home, but not to take away her break.

If there's wet play they go to the hall. She doesn't necessarily need to be running around, just able to walk/move about rather than sitting, to stop her muscles stiffening up. It has to be pouring down for wet play though, they send them out in coats in drizzle.

OP posts:
Original poster
Welshmaenad · 16/10/2015 19:03

Who mentioned kicking ass, catford?

I'm very mindful that she's doing amazingly well. It's about 95% resultant of her own effort, which is part of the reason I'm annoyed.

OP posts:
melonribena · 16/10/2015 19:07

I agree that you need to go in for a chat. If she's worked hard then she shouldn't be kept in. However, you need to hear the teacher's side of the story too.

Perhaps I haven't explained myself very well - I don't think nine year olds should be 'punished' by being deprived of playtime because they had insufficient time or support to complete an activity during class time.

I agree with this also and never do this in my class. However, the teacher is in charge of the class and chooses rewards and punishments that best suit all the children.

GruntledOne · 16/10/2015 19:07

Is the need for movement written into DD's IEP or a risk assessment? You really need to lay it on the line that this isn't optional, so if it isn't set out in writing you should ask that that be dealt with as a matter of urgency so that supply teachers etc also know.

Original poster
Welshmaenad · 16/10/2015 19:11

I'm not sure Gruntled. It's just always been something that's adhered to, and when she has break times with her 1:1 (usually lunch and afternoon) the worker encourages her with movement, setting her challenges or organising games with groups of friends, she's very good. I've never thought to ask if the need has been formalised because this is the first time it has been disregarded, if that makes sense.

OP posts:
Mrspopper · 16/10/2015 19:23

Sometimes children need to muss break to do work. Nothing to do with teachers time management. Does this happen regularly? If so its a problem. A one off I'd not get so angry. You can talk nice,y to the teacher and explain how important it is dd gets her break time and ideally doesn't misd it. Other children were doing the same so she wasn't singled out.

Mrspopper · 16/10/2015 19:25

*miss

catfordbetty · 16/10/2015 19:45

I'm very mindful that she's doing amazingly well. It's about 95% resultant of her own effort, which is part of the reason I'm annoyed

So the school can only take credit for the remaining 5%? It's a wonder you bother sending her there at all.

RoseWithoutAThorn · 16/10/2015 19:53

Go and speak to the teacher to find out her view on why your DD was kept in at playtime. I often get parents asking me why X was kept in to complete work. I've always had a perfectly reasonable explanation from a teacher.

You won't know until you ask. I do think your being unfair assuming it's lack of time management on the teachers part when you haven't actually spoken to them.

ValancyJane · 16/10/2015 19:58

If your daughter is so diligent, is it possible she wanted to stay in and complete the work? Just throwing it out there as another possibility!

LadyLonely1 · 16/10/2015 20:00

I think you need to speak to the teacher to find out what the actual story is. Bear in mind if this is the first time in 5 years this has happened, you shouldn't make a big deal about it.

WorraLiberty · 16/10/2015 21:23

Please ignore all the crappy advice on here. You are correct - it isn't acceptable at all. And given your daughters SNs I would not even bother discussing it with the teacher, I would go straight to the head and make it crystal clear that there is to be no repeat.

YY 'crappy' advice like "check the facts with the teacher"....

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