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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed about dd being kept in at break time?

44 replies

Welshmaenad · 16/10/2015 18:37

Dd is nine. She has cp and some additional learning needs and us on school action plus. She has some 1:1 support, usually in the afternoons, and is doing amazingly well in a mainstream setting. She's obviously quite new to yr 5 but her report at the end of yr 4 praised her work ethic and whenever I ran into her teacher she'd rave about how diligent and hard working she was. Just adding this info so I'm not accused of parental bias - she is a committed and hard working, well behaved little girl.

On Tuesday she came home and said that she and several others had not quite finished some work on the iPads they had been doing - this seemed to consist of thinking up questions and googling the answers, from what I can gather. She said the teacher said they would finish this work in Thursday in their break time. I was pretty sure she had misunderstood, and the teacher was away on s planned absence on Wednesday. She came home on Thursday and said they had been kept in for their whole break time to do the work.

I'm seriously not happy about this. More so than other children she needs to go outside and move around as much as she can, or her limbs get stiff. We're also gently working on extra activity for her as she has gained a little weight (not making a big deal of this with her at all as I don't want to create anxiety, but I'm trying to work more manageable exercise into her life as subtley as I can).

I feel that if the teacher can't manage timekeeping in class and ensure activities are finished appropriately, this is her issue, not the children's, and they shouldn't be punished for being a little slower to complete tasks? It was at a time when dd was without her 1:1 worker.

I have parenting evening next week and am wondering if and how to raise this issue and make it clear I don't want it repeated?

OP posts:

Original poster

Welshmaenad · 16/10/2015 21:33

I do want to clarify what happened with the teacher rather than go running to the Head, although I think he'd be sympathetic as he's had a great deal of involvement with dd.

OP posts:

kelpeed · 17/10/2015 01:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bostonkremekrazy · 17/10/2015 09:26

This happened to my ds 8 recently - he also has SEN. The whole class were kept in during break as 'some boys were being silly and so kept in during break to think about their behaviour'.
After clarifying with my sons 1-1 I went to the head and made it clear that it was not acceptable for son who needs to exercise, stretch his limbs and have the opportunity to run off his excess energy, to be kept sat on a chair for 15 minutes because other kids were 'being silly'. First time it's happened in 5 yrs and I hope will be the last.

tobysmum77 · 17/10/2015 09:27

I think yabu. The teacher obviously felt dd wasnt concentrating on her work and trying as hard as she could. So she was kept in, its just one break time. If it was happening repeatedly and affecting muscle tone then ok there's a concern but not once.

tobysmum77 · 17/10/2015 09:28

Boston whole classes being kept in is a different situation.

abbieanders · 17/10/2015 09:44

Your daughter sounds delightful, OP, and I'm sure she's probably a pleasure to teach. Now I can see that missing playtime is not the right punishment for her due to her physical needs, but she sounds like the kind of little girl who doesn't get in trouble. Given that, it may be no harm to her to have the occasional slip up and punishment. Too many little girls are so focused on being good that they can catastrophise not being perfect. The experience that a minor punishment is not such a big deal might be no harm for her.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't discuss it with the school, but just don't encourage her to feel that the teacher shouldn't punish her or that she's been unfairly treated. It's much harder for them to accept that we all slip up and take the consequences if you agree that the consequences are outrageous and unjust.

catfordbetty · 17/10/2015 10:00

kelpeed

I am simply challenging to the relentless denigration of teachers and schools that is to be found on so many threads on Mumsnet. If you find that "goady" then tough luck.

MrsJayy · 17/10/2015 10:05

I agree Just ask the teacher what its about and go from there she might have been more than happy to stay in.

TheoriginalLEM · 17/10/2015 11:16

Teachers are great, they do a demanding job, made harder by the government and their continual goal post changes. I have every admiration for people who do this job. I couldn't do it. However, they are not God, and as such, not infallible and they make mistakes. This teacher has made the wrong call about the OP's DD and the OP is well within her rights to question it.

Also, in an employment situation, the employer would be breaking the law if it expected its employees to work through without their break. Especially if they weren't given any choice about the situation.

My DD was being kept in repeatedly, not because she was not trying or messing about but because she has dyslexia and this obviously slows her down. I shouldn't have even had to raise this, but i did and i made it clear that DD wouldn't be doing so again. She is a hardworking little girl who tries her very best and shoudln't be punished for her disability. Her teacher last year was not sufficiently trained in teaching pupils with dyslexia and my dd did not make good progress. We got her a tutor, at an expense that is putting us under financial strain and she has come on leaps and bounds.

Yes, teachers are brilliant (generally) but they are not perfect and most certainly not unaccountable for the service they provide.

But yeah, your post comes across as goady and a little bit twattish, but like you say - tough luck.

TheoriginalLEM · 17/10/2015 11:18

are you a teacher catford? or just part of the PO brigade?

Original poster

Welshmaenad · 17/10/2015 11:54

I'm not sure what other threads have to do with my specific problem, catford, but if you can't be constructive and refrain from transferring issues, maybe you could just keep your goading to yourself? I can't see how it's helpful.

I'm not denigrating this teacher, I think she made the wrong call and am looking for constructive ways to challenge it.

abbie I don't think it's fair or correct to say that she 'slipped up' and required punishment for taking longer to complete work because of identified SEN and support needs, which have have been formalised in an IEP.

OP posts:

tobysmum77 · 17/10/2015 12:14

So rather than 'challenging' it you need to discuss with the teacher how the IEP is being interpreted. You only have dd's version of what happened, maybe she wasn't working to the standard she can. I'm sure she is a lovely girl but children are rarely perfect 100% of the time and it's not beyond the relms of possibility that dd wasted time in the lesson. It's surely a good thing that the teacher's expectations of dd are high.

IguanaTail · 17/10/2015 12:17

I would ask about it because you don't know if the reason behind the decision.

Ultimately the school is in charge of how they manage her learning, in discussion with you of course. If you only feel they make 5% of difference I would be looking elsewhere though. Most schools make a much better job of it!

catfordbetty · 17/10/2015 13:09

Ultimately the school is in charge of how they manage her learning, in discussion with you of course. If you only feel they make 5% of difference I would be looking elsewhere though

Be careful, IguanaTail when I made this observation the OP decided it was "goading". (A useful accusation on MN which allows a poster to ignore any POV which differs from their own.)

Original poster

Welshmaenad · 17/10/2015 13:20

It's a tremendous school. I'm generally very happy. They'd probably agree, though, that dd achieves overwhelmingly because of her own effort.

OP posts:

TheoriginalLEM · 17/10/2015 14:15

I would handle it by saying that you are concerned that this might become a recurrance and that you are worried aobut it. That is probably all you need to say. I threw my toys but i have a good relationship with the teachers so did it in a jokey way that got my message across. It does feel like a big thing to you and it is, but it was probably a case of the teacher just not thinking, the ipads probably were only available in break time and that was the only opportunity to finish the work. It shouldnt be presented as a puishment and probably wasn;t but that doesnt change the fact that your child needs differ from the others. So my approach would be "im a bit worried that.... " rather than "she sholdnt have benn kept in..."

summerainbow · 17/10/2015 14:33

Never assume the class teacher knows what is wrong with child . you need to go in at the beginning of every year and have a chat.
go and explain to the teacher.what you have said on here.

Fiddlerontheroof · 17/10/2015 14:34

My daughter has CP, and sounds very similar to your dd, especially having the same grit and determination! Can I just say that your school sound fab, as so many parents of children with disabilities in mainstream struggle to get even an understanding of what is needed for their child....I had so many battles with my daughters first school, that in the end, it became easier to move her school to another mainstream school that completely understood her condition, than continue to fight for what she desperately needed with people who just didn't want to, or just couldn't understand, and I say that as a teacher myself!

So, it sounds like your school is well on board with things, so I would be personally a bit hesitant about going in over a one off. It's important she's treated completely equally with her peers too, and if the simple fact was, that work needed to be completed by them all...then I really wouldn't worry to much about it. On the other hand, if it was a regular thing, then yes, I would def be saying something.

Sometimes I think you have to pick your battles, and for me, this is one that I wouldn't lose any more sleep over xxx

ballerinabelle · 17/10/2015 17:29

I kind of agree with catford I'm sure your daughter is very bright but it's a bit insulting to the teaching profession to suggest they have such little impact on a child's education. I do hope you get it sorted though welsh but I would say that if it's just a one off then I wouldn't go in all guns blazing.

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