To tell the school that I don't want DS to play rugby

[katemiddletonsothermum]

A number of issues here, so I'll be brief:

1. I've heard of a number of serious injuries recently, several of which have been life-changing for the players and families
2. DS isn't very good at rugby anyway. He plays like he's playing netball and, quite frankly, is more of a liability on the pitch than off it. He's only included in the team because the school has an inclusive policy and the school is very small so he's there to make up the numbers
3. I've watched a few matches and I don't like what I see (see point 1.)
4. A lot of my relatives have older boys and they seem to spend every other weekend in A&E with rugby related injuries. Fortunately they've been OK, but again, see point 1.

Damn it, I know IABU. If I tell the school that he's not to play rugby then he'll be singled out as being the "weird kid who stays on the sidelines or goes to the library" - and that's if the school agrees. I don't think they will agree to this and then I'll be the weird complaining parent who wants her son to be wrapped in cotton wool.

He's OK at other sports. OK as in he turns up, waves his arms around and runs up and down a bit. He'll never be in Team GB.

He's 8. There's 10 years of this and the rugby will only get more rough and more worrying.

What does your DS want?

At 8 they play tag rugby, which is non contact - no tackles, scrums etc. Not sure the school will agree and, yes, you will be that parent.

I think serious injuries in kids' rugby are really quite rare. I don't have stats but at that age I doubt it's more dangerous than football or climbing on a climbing frame.

What does your DS think? I do agree that no-one should be forced to play rugby at school, because of its physical element.

Aw it's hard to see your boy playing rugby as it is a contact sport. I think you would be unreasonable to make him different, though.

Rules for what can and cannot happen in under 10s rugby are very strict and have got even stricter with the new regulations. Most children do not get hurt. All sports can cause injuries. There are lots of positive things about rugby, too, and lots he could learn from being part of the team.

So I empathise but I think you need to put on a brave face and help him to enjoy it.

Tag rugby?

If he's volunteering to be in the team, then surely he must want to be?

I'd really like to know the answer to this one! My dad has a knee that twists all the way around to the back; my ex-boyfriend broke his mates collar bone so badly that he will never play any contact sport again; another friend broke his back - all rugby injuries. My ds is 11 weeks old and I'm already so determined that he is never going to play rugby! Not sure how to achieve it without being 'that mother' though- sorry!

At 8 years old, he will be tackling ( I think, it is a long time since DS was 8) but without rucks / mauls / scrums / lineouts & as he is tackling he should be wearing a gum shield.

How much coaching has he had, what level are they playing at?
At 8 I can't imagine there is much chance for him to be injured if they have been coached to tackle correctly, I assume there is coaching as he is on a team.

They will be playing small teams for short periods of time.

Yes, there are serious life changing injuries, but rarely in games of mini rugby. It is a fantastic sport (can you tell I'm a fan?) DS is 12 now and played for 6 years - we have had a couple of knocks & one trip to A&E with a thumb sprain.

My youngest is the same age, he plays tag rugby at school (though I believe that his age group would play contact Rugby at a proper club) so if its a tag rugby tournament then you are being a bit precious.

I hated watching my lads play contact Rugby and was v v glad when they all decided to commit to football instead (clash in training and matches meant one or the other not both). I wouldn't have stopped them playing if they wanted to though

I'm pretty sure the school won't want to ferry 8yos to A&E so I'm guessing it will be gentle!

DS plays at a club. Assumed he must be tackling to be a concern to you. If it is tag rugby YANBU.

I dread DS playing Rugby. DD I think would be ok but DS just doesn't seem suited to it.

I would probably ask for a copy of the risk assessment and coaching qualifications and insurances (after googling the specific terms for exactly what they are called). IF they are not doing it properly then this should prompt them to do it right, or they might just roll their eyes and decide DS isn't on the team any longer as a new boy has conveniently appeared or something. Either way is a win without him being 'the boy who isn't allowed by his mummy'.

YABU darn it!

DS2 is 8 and plays contact rugby at his club. If the school is still playing tag then I wouldn't worry about it.

At minis level everyone is going to be very careful.

Or move to another school where rugby isn't compulsory.....

Most state schools do very little rugby.

I don't think many 8 yos have the nouse to play rugby 'gently' - I know my friends lad bounces round and declares 'lets play rugby' then there are crashes and wails and my DC declaring they DON'T WANT TO.

He is far too impulsive and bullish and basically immature to play rugby in any sensible sort of way. And he is a pretty normal kid. They are wild little beings. Encouraging them to knock each other over seems like a crazy idea to me.

Rugby is compulsory at my DS's school. He's too young to play but I don't want him to play it either. YANBU

If it's being done safely (and you would bloody hope so if we are talking about 8 year olds!) then YABU.

OTOH I have absolutely no issue with withdrawing my children from activities if I think that their security has been unnecessarily compromised. I refused to have my DS participate in a martial arts type activity at school because I was not happy that it was being adequately supervised.

I'm not at all against risk sports (I'm a climber and DS is a BMX racer) but children who do risk sports need to do so willingly and in appropriate conditions.

My DS broke a finger in the school library (bend it backwards on a table) and also a toe when eating pancakes (dropped plate on toe).

Children will always find a way through the cotton wool

Surely they are just playing touch rugby? I fail to see the problem. Ds isn't the sportiest child but loves playing rugby.

Tag rugby?

If he's volunteering to be in the team, then surely he must want to be?

I know of two schools, one private and one state, where the attitude is, "Don't want to play rugby? Don't choose this school, then."

www.independent.co.uk/news/people/boris-johnson-takes-down-10-year-old-school-boy-during-rugby-match-a6694896.html

Have you been reading this?

At 8 he will be playing mini rugby. No real tackling. The most that should have changed so far this year is the introduction to shields, used without the words 'smash it' being uttered!

I think they play semi-contact rugby, ie they are being tackled: being grabbed by the knees and knocked to the ground.

DS doesn't volunteer for the team. The whole year group get to play and the team is mixed around on a weekly basis. With respect to the teacher, he only plays for about 10 mins and then on the the wing where he manages to avoid any contact with the ball and the other players.

DS doesn't like rugby and he doesn't like football either. I'm going to try to get him into a secondary school that doesn't play rugby so he'll moan constantly about having to play football, but I'd rather he had a broken ankle than a broken neck.

But to answer everyone who says that he's only 8 and it's only tag rugby...

He will get older. He will play full contact rugby. My issue won't go away but my worries will only get worse.

"He plays like he's playing netball"

Or do you mean he's good at finding space and using it, catching, passing and teamwork? All transferable skills to rugby.

He will get older. He will play full contact rugby. My issue won't go away but my worries will only get worse

Why won't he be going to secondary school? They might not even play rugby. This seems to be all about you rather than him...