To tell the school that I don't want DS to play rugby

[katemiddletonsothermum]

A number of issues here, so I'll be brief:

1. I've heard of a number of serious injuries recently, several of which have been life-changing for the players and families
2. DS isn't very good at rugby anyway. He plays like he's playing netball and, quite frankly, is more of a liability on the pitch than off it. He's only included in the team because the school has an inclusive policy and the school is very small so he's there to make up the numbers
3. I've watched a few matches and I don't like what I see (see point 1.)
4. A lot of my relatives have older boys and they seem to spend every other weekend in A&E with rugby related injuries. Fortunately they've been OK, but again, see point 1.

Damn it, I know IABU. If I tell the school that he's not to play rugby then he'll be singled out as being the "weird kid who stays on the sidelines or goes to the library" - and that's if the school agrees. I don't think they will agree to this and then I'll be the weird complaining parent who wants her son to be wrapped in cotton wool.

He's OK at other sports. OK as in he turns up, waves his arms around and runs up and down a bit. He'll never be in Team GB.

He's 8. There's 10 years of this and the rugby will only get more rough and more worrying.

But does he like it?

YABVVU if he does!

If he is tackling he has to wear a gum shield.
If he is taught correctly, tackling is not being grabbed by the knees & knocked to the ground.
I'm getting the impression you actually don't know that much about what he is doing at rugby, there are very strict laws & coaching rules to follow because it is a contact sport. I would read up & if you feel the school are not following them, call them up on it.

My son plays rugby, does cyclo cross has never had a serious injury, my DD has broke her arm twice ( falling out of bed and playing in a playground.

Encouraging them to knock each other over seems like a crazy idea to me.

Do you know much about rugby?

If the rugby is a part of the PE lesson, I'm not sure I'd want to be that parent and make too much of a fuss. I might speak to the PE teacher and ask them what practical precautions they take.

But your op reads that all the boys are expected to play matches? Do they genuinely not have enough team members who want to play to make this viable, or are they trying to reduce the impact of the same pupils being out for matches all the time?

Tbh as your ds doesn't enjoy it at all, I see no harm in saying you don't want him participating in the sport outside PE lessons. Imo it nothing puts children off sport altogether more than being forced into playing matches for a sport they do not enjoy, especially if it doesn't come easily to them anyway.

Offer for him to be permanently on any other team if need be.

YAB a little bit U. You will be regarded as that mother! I totally get it, my lump of a DS has just started playing rugby outside school (after begging for years) and 2 matches in partially dislocated his shoulder, although it was due to him throwing in a v impressive diving tackle. Rather than giving up he is now begging me to let him back into practice/matches before his shoulder is fully healed!
Fwiw they should be teaching safe tackles - but accidents will happen.

If your son wants to play rugby he should of course be allowed to.

Chipped he will definitely be going to secondary school. I'm trying to get him into a secondary school that plays football as their main sport. But if I can't, then he will have to play rugby at the local secondary school.

carteblanche no he does not like rugby.

Re the netball comment, no, sadly he isn't that co-ordinated. He hops up and down, waving his arms around and doesn't do much else. Seriously, he isn't very good and he doesn't like it. If he doesn't play then I doubt whether the team would even notice.

Football can be just as bad.
When pfb DS1 was 13, three players were badly injured in one match. One boy got a broken arm, another a badly broken leg requiring surgery and DS had a throat injury.
It was a nasty game.

Could you perhaps have a chat to his sports teacher about your concerns? They might be able to reassure you about what measures they put in place to minimise injuries, and you could also raise the issues you have a result of some of the things that have worried you in matches you've watched.

I really don't think they'll be doing anything massively aggressive at that stage, particularly bearing in mind how risk averse schools are these days. I would imagine he's more likely to get mown down and injured running around the playground at break time - certainly that and basketball have been the cause of my DD's worst school injuries.

I can understand you wanting to find a secondary where rugby isn't a big thing, but I would really try and address you anxieties with it and allow him to continue with it at primary level.

YANBU. there's been a few articles recently about just how dangerous it is. It was chilling reading. I wouldn't let a child do it.

Soupdragon I know nothing about rugby, my DC don't have to play it. My friend's overenthusiastic DS though is what I meant about the knocking over thing. That is all he taken from his lessons. 'I'll show you how to play - bam- wail'. I don't think he is being taught according to any sort of rules tbh.

YANBU, when your DS doesn't like it either. DH is traumatised by school rugby.

"He hops up and down, waving his arms around and doesn't do much else"

That's not netball. But a predominantly girls sport isn't a good metaphor anyway if you want to describe someone who is not good at a different sport.

Everyday Sexism

He may not love playing rugby himself but that doesn't necessarily means he wants to be singled out as being the kid whose mum won't allow him play.

Football can be just as bad.

I agree. My Nephew has had a broken leg and dislocated knee from playing football.

My friends daughter has broken her wrist playing netball.

All sports carry an element of risk.

That's not netball

Waving my arms in the air and hopping about is pretty much exactly what I remember netball being like :o

Disclaimer: I was shit at netball.

I've never been completely sure what netball is.

Is it like static basketball?

I loathed most sports at school, but if my mum had written in and asked for me to be excused in case I got hurt i'd have been mortified

Me too.

Im not sure of the finer details but unlike basket ball you aren't allowed to run with the ball and you have set areas you can go on the pitch/court/field of torture.

I don't think you are being at all unreasonable. As a contact sport, Rugby is not a game for people who don't like playing it. And I say that as someone whose DDs love playing rugby and have played from age 4 all the way through secondary.

I would have given my right arm for a note excusing me from all sport at school . Fortunately I was good at forgery .