Car share/work colleague/slagging me off

[ScribblerOnTheRoof]

Will try to keep this short, I haven't been unreasonable YET and would like some advice before/if I say anything.

Me and a guy in work both live in the same area which is a 30 minute drive from work so we car share. One week I drive, the next he drives.

A few weeks ago he crashed his car and it is a write off. No injuries thankfully.

Therefore we have been driving in to work in my car.

I am currently moving house and had to hand the keys into my old landlord on Monday by 5pm, my DP was really ill and on Sunday I realised I was not going to get things done on time, so I messaged my boss to ask if it was possible to have the Monday off, she said yes.

I sent a text to car share guy to explain (this was around 3pm on Sunday) I wouldn't be in so could he arrange a lift with family. He replied with "ok".

On the Mondat I received a text from another work colleague who told me that car share guy had said I had "let him down".

Monday night I was feeling as little queezy, woke up at 5am Tuesday morning vomitting and Diarohea. I text Car share guy around 6.30 to explain I wouldnt be in again but that he could borrow my car. He replied "by the time I get to you i will be late for work, Guess I'll just have to ring in sick".

Later on that evening he sent me another message asking if im in or not today so he can arrange a lift.

I feel he was unreasonable to slag me off to work, saying that when he buys a new car he wont be car sharing with me again as i'm too unreliable!!! it was one occasion! So who IBU here? Me for letting him down, or him?

What fairenuff said.

You need to get arrangements in place in advance of the problem occurring.

I wouldn't want a lift from him in the circs.

Yeah I founf the conversations a bit draining, and the constang oggling of women we pass. Vile

Isn't there an earlier bus you could get (was wondering if it's one an hour for instance)? I'd sooner get into work at 8.20 than share a car with an arsehole.

Unfortunately not. There is one at 8.01am which gets me into town at 9.20am. Plenty coming back in the afternoon

Really? I think the buses are being unreasonable then.

Yeah I founf the conversations a bit draining, and the constang oggling of women we pass. Vile

Yet you wanted to continue the car share arrangement

I think this is just sour grapes because he's dumped you. You have no right to blame him for your own situation. You're just pissed off because he had a moan about you at work when you weren't there and so now you want to moan about him.

It's all very childish and I think you're making a mountain out of a molehill tbh.

I will explain to the manager that he refuses to help me.

To echo what two other posters have said:

Adults are responsible for getting themselves to work.

Assuming he has an adult brain in his adult body, he can make his own way to work. You're not his keeper.

Assuming you have an adult brain in your adult body, you can make your own way to work. He is not your keeper.