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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Both children fucking awake!!

53 replies

floatyflo · 14/10/2015 01:44

1.30 am and both my children (5yrs and 18m) are awake again! I'm sick to death of this. Why don't they sleep through?? They both want me but my OH works nights so I'm trying to split myself between them buts it's fucking impossible. Fed. Up.

OP posts:
Original poster
floatyflo · 14/10/2015 09:05

You aredoing neither them nor yourself any favours by not sleep training

You're assumption that I haven't tried various techniques and training amuses me. Grin

ipushed Flowers for you. Sometimes some perspective is helpful. I am very lucky .

OP posts:
Bubblesinthesummer · 14/10/2015 09:06

maybe AIBU isn't the best place for this type of post.

True. AIBU is not the place to post for support really or empathy. It is called Am I being Unreasonable Wink

Original poster
floatyflo · 14/10/2015 09:12

I needed a little outlet last night. Just to know I wasnt the only up. Ds5 can be more forgiven. He has is due surgery to remove his adenoids soon as he just cannot breather through his nose. He wakes him and he gets uncomfortable. He comes into my bed in the middle of night and generally goes straight back to sleep. But when Dd wakes up, I tuck her back in, find hher comforter, etc, but as soon as I leave the room she screams. Wakes ds back up. So I put him back into bed, tell him I won't be long and go to settle Dd back down. But the only way I've can do this is to sit on the floor by her door for a bit. But ds is clingy and won't stay in bed and as soon as she is drifting back off he comes up the hallway to see where I am and wakes her back up again. I can't put Dd in the bed too because there just isn't enough room and they keep each other awake. Last night Dd was awake until 4am!! I kept putting her back into bed and tried to sleep between getting up but she was just dotting about as if it were morning!
Sorry for a jumbled post. I've had about 3 hours sleep as I was up until half 12 finishing a college assignment.

OP posts:
Bubblesinthesummer · 14/10/2015 09:14

I've had about 3 hours

Me too Flowers for you.

Original poster
floatyflo · 14/10/2015 09:15

Okay, AIBU to be mad at the kids for their nightly tag team approach to keeping me awake? Probably.

AIBU to be now be feeling sorry for myself. Probably.

AIBU to not remember it is a phase and this too shall pass. Most definitely

OP posts:
Shutthatdoor · 14/10/2015 09:22

Don't be too hard on yourself floaty.

It is a phase, btw that doesn't always help when you are in the middle it though it can be tough.

Shutthatdoor · 14/10/2015 09:23

*but not btw

milkmilklemonade12 · 14/10/2015 09:25

No you should be able to come onto a bloody parenting forum and have a whinge about your kids because they're depriving you of much needed sleep fgs. I appreciate its AIBU but the OP probably posted for traffic, company and the feeling that at that low moment, she wasn't completely alone.

OP, YANBU if you said you wanted to throw the pair of them out the window Grin we've all felt like it, and some nights it's just horrific.

I think having a partner on nights is worse sometimes because they get home and need to sleep; I work nights and it's shattering. Would definitely rather be doing that than staying up all night with my DC though Wink

Original poster
floatyflo · 14/10/2015 09:32

Oh Lord. I didn't really consider where I was posting. Does it matter?? I'm surprised I didn't post in the litter box or something considering how bleary eyed I was.

OP posts:
milkmilklemonade12 · 14/10/2015 09:34

It doesn't matter flo

Brew I'm sorry you had a rubbish night.

Original poster
floatyflo · 14/10/2015 09:35

I think having a partner on nights is worse

It definitely doesn't help. He only works around the corner. I felt like sticking Dd in the buggy and wheeling her round to him - 'I think she wants you dp. Night!'

OP posts:
Shutthatdoor · 14/10/2015 09:41

(Oh Lord. I didn't really consider where I was posting. Does it matter?? I'm surprised I didn't post in the litter box or something considering how bleary eyed I was.*

No it doesn't, but when you post AIBU you have to be prepared for people saying you are Wink

I find chat good in the small hours of the morning Wink

Shutthatdoor · 14/10/2015 09:43

Sorry bold fail

HaydeeofMonteCristo · 14/10/2015 09:46

Having a partner on nights must make things hard, as you can't just "not give in" to kids wanting you - you are the only one there!

Reading that 5 year old has had surgery will mean that usual routines go out of the window I guess.

Otherwise, with a 5 year old they can understand, so usual rewards/stickers for staying in bed or whatever method you use to get them to behave well at other times can be used. It's the same as any other behaviour really, apart from when there something unusual like surgery or they have a nightmare etc. Shouldn't be all the time though.

With the baby (20 months, but what I'm going to say has been true for months), we found a grow bag has made all the difference between our two kids. DD still woke up for years because she always pushed the covers off, and I stupidly didn't persevere with putting her in a growbag (she hated it). DS sleeps through if he is in his growbag, but if someone forgets to put him in (babysitter or whoever) he wakes at night. He is a good sleeper once he is down though, which has been luck. He was crap at first but only until a couple of months when he had his tongue tie snipped.

Original poster
floatyflo · 14/10/2015 10:00

No it doesn't, but when you post AIBU you have to be prepared for people saying you are

Id just like to highlight I haven't actually said I'm not prepared. In fact I like AIBU for the 'yes that's not great but pull yourself together' attitude. In fact ipushed basically said yabu and I'm happy to agree. Yes I am. I'm very lucky to have two healthy children and that last night we were warm, and safe and well albeit fucking tired

OP posts:
Ipushedmygrannyaffabus · 14/10/2015 12:46

Nothing I said last night was going to help OP in her situation last night - which I actually pointed out must be a difficult one. The only thing that could change was her view of the situation, and I just pointed out that whilst it must be horrendous to be sleep deprived, there are many who would give their eye teeth to be in that situation.
Yes, I worried after I posted it that it was a bit "you MUST be grateful for every shitty bit of parenthood" which wasn't what I meant but I think the OP has been sensible enough not to take it like that.

Ipushedmygrannyaffabus · 14/10/2015 12:59

And I hope you all get a better nights sleep tonight! :)

keely79 · 14/10/2015 14:55

Could you try waking your children up just before you go to bed to use the toilet? Our 3 year old was waking up every night and coming into our bed - we started waking him around 10.30pm to use the toilet, and that seemed to reset his body clock so he now sleeps through after that....

MrsTedCrilly · 14/10/2015 15:00

It's hard OP! My little one was comatose on both calpol and nurofen for his teething the other night, and it was the first night in ages he hasn't grumbled once through the night.. I'd forgotten what it was like to have a deep sleep with no interruptions.. Bliss! Back to the usual now though Grin I hope it passes for you soon.

colourdilemma · 14/10/2015 15:04

Ipushed - I have been where you are and where the op is. They're both crap. And for what it's worth, in the depths of one or the other, I have wished I was in the other kind of crap, not really, obviously, but just wanting to escape the current misery.

Op I hope yours sleep soon. I feel your pain.

Iwantakitchen · 14/10/2015 15:08

If you think they may be waking each other up - because of the noise - you could try something like the Sound Sleeper, it's an app and it makes a white noise like a hoover/hairdryer. It does help covering the sound they are making so the other child might not wake up. You can control the volume.

JapaneseSlipper · 14/10/2015 15:09

Ipushed, your sweetness shines through in your posts. Wishing you all the best, I hope you get your much-wanted baby xx

theDuchessInTheDodgeCharger · 14/10/2015 15:14

wishing you good luck OP
I've been there and it's hell, and it does pass, but when you're in the middle of it , it doesn't help to hear this said.
as for the person advocating sleep training, that was very stupid. sleep training sometimes often doesn't work, some kids just are like that and you're not making a rod for your own back by making your life less hard and letting them sleep with you or whatever else.
if it had been me I would have been furious reading this, and the OP was just desperate for sympathy.

Ilovesleep21 · 14/10/2015 15:58

Lack of sleep is pretty standard in our house. My biggest saviour was the gentle sleep book by Sarah ockwell-smith. The Gentle Sleep Book: For calm babies, toddlers and pre-schoolers www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0349405204/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_Z0Mhwb9596VKG

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/10/2015 16:08

Yes, I worried after I posted it that it was a bit "you MUST be grateful for every shitty bit of parenthood" which wasn't what I meant but I think the OP has been sensible enough not to take it like that. I think some people react to it because there is a constant bombardment, if you are a mother, of expectations. For your behaviour, for your parenting, for your choices. While all the while you must have a saccharine smile plastered all over your soft-focus face. Ipushed you just got the sharp end of that. Grin

I love DD more than anything. When I spent two years dealing with her lack of sleep I didn't feel 'grateful'.