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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Another kids party one!!

70 replies

kappadelta · 13/10/2015 10:06

DD brought home an invite to another girls party in her class last night. Unfortunately it's the same date and time as my DD's and the invites are going into school in the morning.
What would you do?

OP posts:

jorahmormont · 13/10/2015 11:19

Broken how heartbreaking for your DD :( those parents should be ashamed of themselves for letting their kids dictate which party they'd rather go to. Hope your DD had a lovely time when she did go out for her birthday.

OP You should definitely invoice her for the ink. A little note on every invitation saying "Sorry for the late notice of the change, blame Mrs _ the rude so-and-so".

Jaxsbum · 13/10/2015 11:26

i do hope you are not inviting the other child

Original poster

kappadelta · 13/10/2015 11:26

Jorah - I like it ??
On another note my DH now says no to inviting the other child ??

OP posts:

DoJo · 13/10/2015 11:31

It's not the other child's fault that her mother didn't handle this whole thing better - I think as you invited her the first time, then you should invite her to the new one, otherwise you are effectively punishing her for something outside of her control. Plus, having the moral high ground can only help if you do find yourself in a position to confront the mother over the whole situation.

eddielizzard · 13/10/2015 11:32

good to change the date.

umm would i invite the other girl? probably not, although bridges would definitely be burnt then. but i guess they already are...

PatriciaHolm · 13/10/2015 11:33

If the invites went home in school bags, it's possible the other mum didn't see yours until after hers went out - I can't count how many invites I've fished out of bags days after they've been handed out.

If you invited the other girl previously, invite her now. She's 5, don't drag her into any petty squabbles.

eddielizzard · 13/10/2015 11:35

yes, on reflection, invite the other child. is not her fault. although i doubt the mum will rsvp. but you will have moral high ground.

CrapBag · 13/10/2015 11:39

You are definitely a bigger person than most OP, like the rude mum who knew about the clash.

Well, your DD isn't invited to this girls party, I'd be inclined not to invite her to the new one.

How shitty though that the others are accepting the other invite even though they had yours first. That's really poor behaviour too.

I hope tour new party goes well.

I've looked at the birthday list for DDs month, there are 6 with birthdays that month. One is the day before DD but I'm friends with the mum so we can arrange around each other. Hoping we don't have this situation as well in years to come!

NinaSimoneful · 13/10/2015 11:40

Yes I think do invite the other child if you can. (I presume you can because you had originally invited her.) As PPs have said it could be a genuine mistake on the mother's part - slim chance perhaps but possible - but even if it wasn't, not the child's fault she has an overbearing, competitive and rather sly mother.

WipsGlitter · 13/10/2015 11:44

I would contact the other mum and ask about sharing a party.

NinaSimoneful · 13/10/2015 11:46

Oh wait, I didn't see that your DD wasn't invited to this party. Either because mum knew about the party and knew your DD had a previous engagement or else because your DD isn't considered to be close enough to the other girl to get an invite.

That would slightly complicate things for me. If my DD had nothing to do on her actual birthday because we moved the date of her party to accommodate someone else's party. I'd stick by my previous decision to invite the other child but I'd be thoroughly annoyed with the mum of an invite to get DDs party didn't materialise.

thelittleredhen · 13/10/2015 11:48

I'd not print them off in case they get mixed up with the others.

I'd text the 3 that have RSPV'd or ring and tell them about the change of date and that if it causes any awkwardness (such as they now being able to make the other girl's party obviously because you've changed the date of yours) would they like to come over for a special birthday tea at your house on that date?

I'd then get some of those cheap notecards and write (or print and stick) a message saying about the change of date as it clashed with another party and that you do hope they can make it.

I would invite the other girl.

NinaSimoneful · 13/10/2015 11:48

if an invite to her DDs party... Sorry for not checking the post before posting

thelittleredhen · 13/10/2015 11:48

And definitely ask about sharing a party next year!

Floggingmolly · 13/10/2015 12:10

Have the children who'd already accepted your invite cancelled to go to the other one?

Original poster

kappadelta · 13/10/2015 12:18

Flogging - I had nobody who had accepted cancel on me.

OP posts:

Oysterbabe · 13/10/2015 12:41

Fyi, everyone hates reverse threads, they're stupid and confusing.

Dancergirl · 13/10/2015 12:43

On another note my DH now says no to inviting the other child ??

No, invite her. Be the better person and avoid all the childish politics.

Glad you got it sorted, definitely don't do a joint party, they are a nightmare.

Original poster

kappadelta · 13/10/2015 13:13

Oyster - thanks for that.

OP posts:

diddl · 13/10/2015 13:18

Hope it all works out OK, OP.

I was going to say that if they don't have many friends in common I'd just leave things be.

I'd still invite the other girl if your daughter wants to.

It's her party!

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