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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that the parent who used makeup to attempt to disguise their child's hand, foot and mouth...

30 replies

CesareBorgiasUnicornMask · 12/10/2015 17:44

And then sent them in to nursery, can just FOTTFSOFATFOSM.

I mean SERIOUSLY. We got told last week by the nursery that there had been an 'incident', and to be on the lookout for signs of infection, then a friend who works there told me what had actually happened (though of course not which child) and I am Shock. Nursery policy is 48 hours after the spots appear AND the child has to be well in themselves. Apparently this little one was coughing and spluttering everywhere and it was the first day the spots had appeared.

DS now has it and I'm going down with it. I know the child was infectious before it was showing but who the hell does that?!

Just argh!

OP posts:
Seeyounearertime · 12/10/2015 17:46

FOTTFSOFATFOSM

Strangely, this isnt listed on the acronyms page..... Shock

Original poster
CesareBorgiasUnicornMask · 12/10/2015 17:47

Fuck of to the far side of fuck and then fuck off some more.

(translation, not you, Seeyou)

OP posts:
Fayrazzled · 12/10/2015 17:51

I think the parent's behaviour is poor, but my understanding of the medical advice is that there is generally no need to exclude a child for HFMD so your nursery should not have that policy:

patient.info/health/school-exclusion-times

www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/353953/Guidance_on_infection_control_in_schools_11_Sept.pdf

Annoying, especially since HFMD is very contagious but that is the official advice

Original poster
CesareBorgiasUnicornMask · 12/10/2015 17:53

Ah interesting - I thought nurseries were free to set their own infection control policies...

OP posts:
SweepTheHalls · 12/10/2015 17:55

Our nursery had a policy of until the last spot was gone...... Best part of 3 weeks off with a healthy, happy child and full nursery fees!

apinchofsugar · 12/10/2015 18:14

I hope Karma get the parents and strike them (them, not the poor child) with a mouth ulcer infection, you know, the kind that leaves you in agony for a couple of weeks. And a bladder infection whilst Karma's at it.

I am already beyond fed up with parents who bring their sick kids and contaminate others without any regard for anyone else (the "small cough" you are dragging sent my youngest in hospital for 3 days, thanks), but MAKE-UP!

Agreed, FOTTFSOFATFOSM!

I hope you are both ok! Flowers

Plumm · 12/10/2015 18:15

Our advice came from our doctor and DD ended up having a week off (might have been until the last spot had gone - can't quite remember now)

But, yes, that's terrible behaviour!

Pico2 · 12/10/2015 18:18

Wouldn't it be painful to have makeup applied to hf&m spots? What a horrible thing to do to a small child.

PlayingSolitaire · 12/10/2015 18:21

OP- you have my deepest sympathies. I had HF&M last year and it was very unpleasant.

As for the parent putting make up on their child to cover up an illness (even one that possibly shouldn't end up with enforced time off) that is seriously weird and wrong.

DrSeuss · 12/10/2015 18:32

That is appalling behaviour.

Is there any chance that it was someone who really had to work, eg someone who doesn't get paid if they miss a few days? A single parent on limited income? I could forgive that more easily.

Original poster
CesareBorgiasUnicornMask · 12/10/2015 18:42

I don't know DrSeuss - friend works in a different part of the nursery and wouldn't ever say anything identifying or personal anyway. I'm assuming so though as I cannot imagine why you'd do that unless you felt you had no choice.

DS is bouncy and happy - just slightly leprous looking. On the other hand I feel like I'm going to faint and have a pounding headache and a mouth full of ulcers. Oh and I can't go back to uni until the spots/ulcers have gone as apparently diseased medical students are inexplicably unwelcome on wards with very sick and immune compromised people, so I'm also going to be missing at least a week of teaching, if not more Angry.

OP posts:
milkmilklemonade12 · 12/10/2015 18:50

Oh God OP, HFM is bloody medieval. DH caught it from DS and was off work for 3 weeks he got so poorly with it!

Disguising an illness with makeup for me is I'm afraid, rather neglectful (and I usually cringe at people who throw this accusation out willy nilly!)

I understand everyone has to work... But come on. That really is, so very wrong. DS had one or two spots that opened up; makeup on them could have infected him Sad

How did the parent react at being found out?

GreatFuckability · 12/10/2015 18:56

Its a shit thing to do. but its also pretty U of your friend to be divulging that information to you, i know s/he didn't give details of who, but still.

experiencedhider · 12/10/2015 19:12

Ugh-HFM gave me post viral complications for months. I think there is a lot of send them in and hope for the best in nursery because of work pressure, but actively covering up infection seems on a more sinister level.

TheUnwillingNarcheska · 12/10/2015 19:12

Ds1 aged 12 has just had this but a very mild dose. The mouth ulcers were horrific and he was in a lot of pain Sad

I kept him off school because he was in pain, not because he was infectious.

NHS website says it is usually nurseries that set their policy to exclude the child until they are better because the nappy changing area is a likely place to spread the infection.

To try to cover up that a child has an illness though it despicable. Angry

WinterIsNeverReallyComing · 12/10/2015 19:31

DS had HFandM when he was just over a year, he was really poorly with it and couldn't eat for several days. I then caught it and it was absolutely shocking. I think it does affect adults worse, but it was awful, so painful. My mouth was particularly bad. So although the NHS doesn't state that children should be kept out of schools, nurseries etc, I would disagree. It is apparently 'mild', but it can really vary person to person, and it's definitely very contagious. As for using make up on a child to hide it, if I was the nursery I would be terminating their place. So inconsiderate and selfish.

BondJayneBond · 12/10/2015 19:42

Aside from the obvious unreasonableness of sending a sick child into nursery, how on earth did the parents think no-one would notice that the child had make-up covering the spots?

Marcipex · 12/10/2015 19:44

The place I work doesnt exclude for Hand foot and mouth.
I don't agree with it, but that is the policy.

Labtest7 · 12/10/2015 19:50

My daughter was diagnosed with leukaemia in nursery and didn't finish treatment 'til year 2. In year one a child had hand foot and mouth and was still attending so I called the ward where my my daughter was treated to ask advice. I was told it was fine to still send her to school.

milkmilklemonade12 · 12/10/2015 20:52

Glad someone else agrees that it's quite sinister to use make up on an ill child!

Also think the nursery should terminate the place. That's not acceptable.

Juniper4004 · 12/10/2015 21:35

I took my DD to the GP with suspected H,F&M and he said the childminder couldn't refuse to take her. He printed off a load of leaflets from Public Health England saying the same thing.

Childminder wasn't fussed about DD going, by the way, and she wasn't ill with it. Interesting that a nursery can set an exclusion if it's not backed up by PHE.

MassaAttack · 12/10/2015 22:08

OT, sorry, but how common is H,F&M? I've honestly only heard about it on MN.

carabos · 12/10/2015 22:21

Agree with massa. I have two adult sons and I had never heard of HFM or "slapped cheek" Hmm until very recently on here. I have asked younger friends with small children about both these diseases and so far haven't managed to find anyone in rl who has even heard of them never mind experienced them.

Blankiefan · 12/10/2015 22:22

The problem with HF&M is that it's most contagious before the child is ill / before spots appear. So - it's a bit pointless excluding for it.

I had it earlier this year but luckily dd didn't or instead of working from home for a week, I'd have lost a weeks annual leave for no-one's benefit. I reality she probably gave me it but didn't show herself so was probably contagious. It's just not realistic to keep to them home when they're perfectly well because they "might" be contagious. But it all amounts to emotional exclusion policy rather than pragmatically doing something to avoid spreading. It (which just isn't possible)

The make up thing is very wrong.

NewBallsPlease00 · 12/10/2015 22:24

Our nursery is hardcore on illness and won't give calpol etc at all, butvthey follow nhs guidelines which state no exclusion required
Common sense should prevail if a child seems unwell/happy in self butvthey will already be contagious

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