To think my husband is an arse for this?

[Vedamakesthebesttoast]

So tonight am fuming with one of my husband little quirks, we've been married four years and only now has he decided that of course it's obvious why wouldn't I have know this all along..... So came down from settling our one year old twins to bed to a bombsite of a kitchen after a hectic day running around after two teething sick children who are clingy and won't nap to find that the only dishes I'd managed to clean in the whole feckon day which were sat on the draining board and the basin from the sink sat on top of them..... Ergo they are now dirty again and need rehashed before I even start cleaning all the other crap that's accumulated..... Asked do why it was there and he said he was cleaning his hands.... ? Wtf? Why do you have to take the basin out of the sink and make other stuff dirty and give me more work to do? Apparently you shouldn't wash your hands into the basin.... Does anyone else do this??? What's the problem if you're that worried about it with just washing your hands and then emptying the feckin basin?? I'm pretty sure the bottom of the basin is more unhygienic to be randomly set around the kitchen than leaving residual hand washing water in it...

It's been a long day and now I'm just pissed, can anyone talk some sense into me? I'm not about to have a barney with him over it but just a bit incredulous at the logic of my supposedly intelligent other half

Off to do the rest of the dishes (and the original ones again)

Hummph

You couldn't do the washing up? ALL day? Because your kids are 'clingy'?

And now this is somehow your husbands fault? Get a grip, put the kids down for ten minutes and wash up?

Ok so the basin as far as I see it is clean on the inside and I'm happy that with hot soapy water and then a rinse is clean after both dishes washing and hand washing.... However the bottom of it sinks in the sink all day and has water sitting around it which can fester... Who washes the bottom of the basin after ever load of washing or hand wash?

We don't have a dishwasher or the space for One its a small kitchen.... Next house wish list....

He is great with the twins and was home early to help with them despite massive stress at work so brownie points there....

Only issue is dirty ohm stuff with his weird sense of hygiene that I just see as counter productive... If he's trying to be hygienic what's the point is it just dirties other stuff in the process (and gives me more work) see logic re bottom of basin above....

Maybe I am being unreasonable... Just baffled that in four years of marriage he can still come of with a 'but this is total truth of the universe' look like I'm a numbskull for not seeing the wisdom in his actions when as far as I see it his logic sucks the lamas ass!

Thank you, reality! You're about the only one making any sense whatsoever.

Now everyone IS "jumping down the husband's throat".

Lol realitycheque the whole point is I had done the dishes he dirtied the clean ones I'd done earlier

Ah, another cross post. Thanks for the basin explanation, ha! and also for defending your husband against the vipers.....

I think my issue with basins is that I think they're incredibly unhygienic, for the reasons you've described above.

Zippy doodad the irony is I never used the feckin things before we lived together, he has always firmly been in the basin camp! Maybe I'm just too much of a basin outsider to understand the ins and outs of the basin etiquette

Ha Dixie I wasn't even thinking dc I was thinking dh

Was trying to work out whether you meant the husband or the basin, dixie.

Even in AIBU ,LTB might have been a bit extreme in this situation.

Veda - "doing" the dishes includes putting the fuckers back in the cupboard. Away from splashback from hand washing.

It's not difficult to take ten minutes out from the daytime TV clingy kids.

1 yr old twins who don't like being put down are hard work OP. Your priority is them, not some washing up so ignore the 'why couldn't you find time to do the washing up' brigade especially as that's not the issue and he can bloody do it anyway.

Back to the real problem and your DPs weird attitude to washing his hands on the basin. He is BU, of course .

Ouch, reality, think you're being a little mean now...

She was being mean the first time, Zippidy. It was what she meant by the last sentence in that first post.

eh? He 'helps' with bedtime... what is he the bloody babysitter .... They are his kids too...

Ha reality.. Daytime TV? You've never had twins....

Normally I would agree and doing the dishes does mean putting them away but as I'd said it was a tough day and even on the best of days I don't get to watch daytime TV... Chance would be a fine thing
Ta zippidy

Ooh yes Veda does make the best toast

From a hygiene point of view, the basin is a bad thing, but it doesn't half reduce the crockery breakage rate if you are a bit of a butterfingers.

The bottom of our basin is v skanky, I'll admit. But Dh would never think of moving it out of the sink to wash his hands, and there is a couple of inches spare down the side for me to aim my handwashing runoff.

Shen you tip out the water after doing the dishes you turn the basin upside down and clean the bottom of it and leave it upside down propped up to dry.
Otherwise it gets so manky and gross on the bottom.
Then for hand washing or potato washing or whatever you just lift it onto the worktop.

Arsicles s especially cut really thick with real butter slathered all over it and honey drizzled ontop....... When does your flight get in I'll stick the toaster on :)

Still don't understand why he didn't do the dishes, have I missed something?

Regardless of who's had a stressful day or whose turn it is to do what, DH and I share all jobs until everything is done so we can sit down together in the evenings. Seems the fairest way to me.

Life is too short for this.

I am constantly in awe of MNers who have DHs who even think about dishes! Mine has hardly ever washed up. We do have a dishwasher so only hand wash every now and again. He hardly ever loads the d/w, but won't hesitate to slag off the boys if they don't do the d/w 'for Mum'.

He and therefore the boys, who all copy their Dad, is also quite happy for me to spend several hours cooking Sunday roast [or any other dinner for that matter], eat whilst complaining about various things like the consistency of the gravy, the quality of the roast potatoes and why I hadn't mashed the turnips completely; then will leave the table as soon as he has finished [ie I am still eating] - they will all then get up and go into the other room, leaving me to finish dinner alone and looking at a table of dirty dishes.

I then have to call everyone back [several times] to get them to clear up, but then they all go off again, leaving me to spend another hour clearing up the mess and reloading the d/w.

In this respect - they are all ars*s!