To think my husband is an arse for this?

[Vedamakesthebesttoast]

So tonight am fuming with one of my husband little quirks, we've been married four years and only now has he decided that of course it's obvious why wouldn't I have know this all along..... So came down from settling our one year old twins to bed to a bombsite of a kitchen after a hectic day running around after two teething sick children who are clingy and won't nap to find that the only dishes I'd managed to clean in the whole feckon day which were sat on the draining board and the basin from the sink sat on top of them..... Ergo they are now dirty again and need rehashed before I even start cleaning all the other crap that's accumulated..... Asked do why it was there and he said he was cleaning his hands.... ? Wtf? Why do you have to take the basin out of the sink and make other stuff dirty and give me more work to do? Apparently you shouldn't wash your hands into the basin.... Does anyone else do this??? What's the problem if you're that worried about it with just washing your hands and then emptying the feckin basin?? I'm pretty sure the bottom of the basin is more unhygienic to be randomly set around the kitchen than leaving residual hand washing water in it...

It's been a long day and now I'm just pissed, can anyone talk some sense into me? I'm not about to have a barney with him over it but just a bit incredulous at the logic of my supposedly intelligent other half

Off to do the rest of the dishes (and the original ones again)

Hummph

[beefthief]

80sMum any number of reasons that don't necessitate treating him like a child. PicTish is right, life is far too short.

[Grazia1984]

When I had one year old twins I was the one earning 10x the husband and getting home to find him washing up. That is the way to go. I recommend it....

[Arsicles]

Omg yes, honey! Get us some barmbrack too would you, it's all wanky bread with alfalfa sprouts round here . On my way

[SurlyCue]

MrsRossPoldark why on earth do you tolerate that? And why are you still doing the sunday roast and all the cleaning up for them if they are so disgustingly disrespectful and ungrateful?

[regenerationfez]

mrsross how old are your boys? From the dishwasher comment I'm guessing older than 4? You need to make them do the dishes. Their dad may be a lost cause but you are setting any future partners up for a lifetime of hassle at the hands of your sons who won't lift a finger because 'My mother did everything, so why can't you?'

[Fairenuff]

You get what you will tolerate MrsR. It might be ok for you but those sons of yours are going to make terrible husbands one day.

[Oswin]

Fucking hell realitycheque, bit rude aren't you. Two one year olds, both teething? Your gonna criticise the op for not getting washing up done.

[pictish]

Oh Realitycheque look at you getting all superior about washing the dishes. Bless you.

[mylaptopismylapdog]

Personally I think you are both doing alright,you have teething sick twins, one teething sick child would have caused major stress here and you are able to post and see both sides of the story.I think the twins are lucky.

[pictish]

Regeneration you'd make a five year old wash the dishes? Harsh times at chez Fez.

[Fairenuff]

Getting back to the thread - we call it a bowl. A washing up bowl.

A basin is a ceramic sink.

[SurlyCue]

Well i dont let make my two do the dishes because when ive let them in the past i have to re-do it again anyway. But at 6 and 10 they both 'cook' one night a week. (I'm talking easy peasy pasta bake/pizza/baked potato and i stand right beside them and do the hot lifting)

[MovingOnUpMovingOnOut]

[OutToGetYou]

Well, I don't think you should wash your hands in the kitchen sink at all, use the wash hand basin in the downstairs loo if you have one, or bathroom if not.

[pictish]

Will do outtogetyou we wash our hands at the kitchen sink and we get nothing but bad luck.

[MrsRossPoldark]

Going back to my post, and not taking away from OP - the boys [DS18, 16, 12, so not aged 5!] are better than their Dad - if I ask them to come back, they usually do though it might take me a couple of goes! DH just mumbles about needing to go and relax after eating and stays in his chair, but will happily remind the boys of their duties when it suits [including laundry duties, tidying up and walking the dog]! I shall change my post to

"DH is an arse!", so going back to OP YADNBU - yours is an arse too!

[roundaboutthetown]

Nothing to do with the reasonableness or otherwise of the OP's dh, but I loathe washing up bowls in sinks - disgusting things that trap dirt underneath themselves, creating extra housework, and make it so much harder to wash hands, wash lettuce, rinse vegetables or rinse something out. Another thing I intensely dislike are impractical ceramic sinks in kitchens and kitchen taps that you can only turn on with your hands, rather than a wrist. What happens when you have raw meat juice on your hands that you need to clean off? Bleurgh. And what's wrong with a metal sink? You can drop crockery in a metal sink without breaking the sink or the crockery.

Could anyone explain to me why you would want a washing up bowl sitting in your sink all day? My fil has a washing up bowl in his metal sink and I can discern no good reason for it whatever. What's more, one look at its underside and I want to heave. On that basis, the OP is right to be flabbergasted by her dh's behaviour, but having a washing up bowl in the sink in the first place seems to me to be the real error.

[WhataRacquet]

MrsRoss I have given up making roast dinners because it takes fecking ages and then it's eaten in 10 minutes and there's a pile of dishes and saucepans in the kitchen. Only roast dinner now is at Christmas but DS1 keeps asking me to make roast beef and wondering why I haven't fulfilled his request!

I don't understand washing up basins either! What is the sink for?

[OutToGetYou]

I prefer a bowl, but despite assertions to the contrary here it is cleaned on the underside every time the sink is used and is propped up so it doesn't sit flat in the sink getting manky.

[MrsRossPoldark]

aha! The basin thread resurrects - I know what the plastic basin is for!!

It's to hold all the dishes that didn't make it into the dishwasher! Otherwise, they'd sit scattered on the work surface until the d/w finishes, wouldn't they?! You see?

This way, occasionally I give in and handwash the leftover dishes but usually they sit in the basin until the next load is due to go in.

[SurlyCue]

I prefer a bowl, but despite assertions to the contrary here it is cleaned on the underside every time the sink is used and is propped up so it doesn't sit flat in the sink getting manky.

Same here.

[Binkybix]

I don't like washing up bowls, but don't feel as strongly as roundabout seems to

[roundaboutthetown]

Ah, so the bowl is there to be so annoying that you have to wash up, MrsRossPoldark? Except it doesn't work, as you use the dishwasher, anyway? Couldn't you have a dirty dish bowl next to the sink? Or put your dirty dishes directly in the sink, if you need them to be really annoying?

[roundaboutthetown]

Binkybix - if you saw fil's washing up bowl, you'd understand why!

[Isetan]

The only unreasonable thing here, is you cleaning up after him. Why do we insist in treating men like children?

If he doesn't have to suffer the consequences of his behaviour, he's less likely to modify it.