AIBU to feed my fussy 6 year old the same meals every week

[Agadooo]

My 6 year old is v fussy n doesn't like most things so have now got in a rut making him the same things I know he'll eat every week-margarita pizza, breaded chicken with sweet corn n a few oven chips, breaded fish with sweetcorn and a few oven chips, pieces of chicken stir fried with baby corn cobs in a wrap, beans on toast, macaroni cheese and spaghetti bolognaise. Won't eat shepherds pie, fish pie, noodles, rice, chilli-I'm a bad mother aren't I ??? I serve it up n he tries a tiny spoon n says he doesn't like it and if I say he has to eat it, he'll want to please me n force down couple mouthfuls ??

TheUnwilling Yes you're right of course and another thing some adults seem to think that just because a baby was weaned on certain foods, they'll remain the same.

Well they grow physically and mentally becoming an independent 'personality' it's just part of growing up, having different tastes. Of course it should be allowed. We wouldn't want our children to remain 8 month olds would we?

Totally disagreeFratelli. My 10yr old DS has SED and there is no way, if I didn't cook what I know he 'might' eat, he would eat it if he's hungry. When he was younger, I tried the "you'll eat if you're hungry" thing and it didn't work.....he starved himself and had massive meltdowns.

OP DS might eat....
Toad in the hole but will leave the sausages and only eat cheesy mash with perhaps two pieces of carrot along with half a jug of gravy and ketchup.

Pasta no sauce with ketchup

Some baked beans and the White of a fried egg.

Some tomato soup (only Heinz and has to see can for proof) with about four rounds of bread.

Chips but only thin chips with pizza but only if it's plain (no herbs on) margarita from the CoOp basic range.

If I make lasagne, he would scrape everything off it and eat the sheet of pasta.

He eats garlic bread

Super noodles.

Nutella on toast

CoOp only fudge yoghurt with fudge bits in.

At all other times, I feed him up on cereal.....usually Krave or coco pops but he might eat weetabix or porridge about one every three months after constant begging.

He eats cold canned sweetcorn and apple and cucumber like it's going out of fashion.

YANBU Most kids grow out of this uber fussy stage. My 11 yr old did. She is still not adventurous but eats most meals. Keep doing what you're doing but keep making other foods available. Try self service on some days. I think the key is don't make a fuss about it or it'll be a battle when you want to encourage enjoyment of foods.

well, the "go hungry option" doesn't actually work in our house as we then have a child waking up at 5 looking for a massive bowl of porridge.

My five year old has become fussy bit we are trying to negotiate our way around it without making it into an issue, and we've managed to defuse the drama a bit

I made my son write down a list of food he likes and promised to have more of them. we discussed the meals I do well and the ones he really hates - I hated lamb and had to eat that every week growing up. But I make him whatever I decide, obviously....I just know what to avoid.

I've told him that the dinner ladies know not to give him his favourite sandwiches if he hasn't eaten his meal the night before. He's too biddable to even try asking. And it makes the issue less of a big deal at night as he's at least had one hot meal that day.

And I do offer pudding IF EATEN even if only a bit of it or a yogurt.

I take the uneaten meal and leave it on the side, if hunger hits, it gets reheated and handed to him. right up to bedtime.

If nothing gets eaten at all, I give him a single dry piece of toast to avoid that scenario of being woken early.

If a child is hungry he/she will eat BUT a fussy eater would rather starve IMO.
As a child around 7 years old at the time my DM once tried to force me to eat a steak and kidney pie, I managed to get out of eating it by spitting each mouthful into a tissue then duly flushed down the loo. Btw she ended up with food poisoning from it, as did poor dsis, karma
I don't have an ED but feel that issues with food can be created if too much fuss is made.
Op, just feed him the foods you know he'll eat and with no fuss add something extra to his plate or to the side.

My OH was a very limited eater as a kid, he went through 6 months of nothing but canned chunky chicken on toast and crunchy nut cornflakes.

How he didn't get scurvy I've no idea. He refused to try fish until he was 27. But now loves lots most fish and eats plenty of good food. We eat out (or used to at least pre kiddo) at 3* restaurants and he'll try most things. His palate is very good and he knows what he likes and doesn't like. I think there is a difference between kids saying they don't like something without trying it or genuine dislike.

I have a fussy 11 year old, she does have Aspergers which doesn't help as she has sensory issues with food. She eats pizza 2 or 3 times a week, usually shop bought fresh pizza one night, home made another night and frozen another night , it does drive me nuts, she will eat fish cakes but that's about it, sometimes I can get a jacket potato ( but not the skin ) into her but it involves a lot of cheese and butter. Cold food is a bit easier, she will eat cheese sandwiches, yogurts, crisps and most fruit.

Have a look at the resistant eater thread which I posted the story of my youngest son on. Hopefully it will reassure you. Looking back My biggest regret is that I wasn't very able to stay calm not that my son wouldn't eat!
As an update he is now 24 fit healthy normal weight etc , able to join in albeit with limitations, in the social aspects of eating, but still has many nogo never tried foods.

I ate spaghetti on toast for most of my childhood, now at 30 I will eat anything!

SeasonalVag Without making it an issue WTAF??? It sounds like a huge issue to me and could be quite damaging to your ds. Involving the school as well. Leave him alone.

Still won't touch half the stuff mentioned on this thread, but My fussy 7yo recently started eating parsnips & broccoli. There is hope!

Won't eat soup or mashed potato so can't hide veggies in there but am gonna try french toast with beans, those veggie finger things in breadcrumbs that look like fish fingers with beans and he has agreed to try a recipe I showed him of a piece of salmon spread with tomato purée n topped with baby corn cob cooked in tin foil -shall report back. Thank you lots everybody-am feeling relaxed and positive (and looking forward to great british bake off final tomorrow so can salivate over cakes-my son doesn't even like cake, only biscuits-quite odd lol!)

I haven't involved the school at all! Haha!! Just a white lie to get him eating his evening meal, and it works. So what?

and there is no issue because it is simply not a cause of stress in our house - we dont fight over meal times - I take it away with a shrug if not eaten.

I'm pretty sure there are kids out there eating worse, honestly there are.

Stick with what you're doing (for now). But, perhaps have some very small serving bowls on the table too with other things in (like extra veg or salad), he might try it if he can help himself, even to three peas or carrots.

I nannied once (yonks ago) and the only way they would eat some veg was to be able to serve themselves during the meal (albeit tiny portions).

(but we also pretended we were the Waltons or Little House on the Prarie family and even dressed up in headscarfs and aprons to eat "supper" round the table and serve ourselves from bowls - the things we do eh!!).

So I think mostly people have said it all. My ds also had a lot of texture related food issues - he literally gags and throws up on very soft textured slimy foods (like cooked mushrooms). This is even when he was being bribed and really wanted to eat the food in order to get the prize.
Basically he likes really crunchy crispy textures so raw veggies are his fave and will happily consume raw celery, carrot, raw broccoli etc.

Before I worked this out he (and we) went through a phase where he would basically only eat things through the vehicle of breadcrumbs e.g. fishfingers, nuggets etc.

So my conclusion was that it was not just faddishness and once we got to the heart of the matter i.e. serve crispy things then was not exactly an unhealthy diet (home made goujons dead easy and time spent making it was saved on preparing raw veg ready about 30 secs flat !).

So I would recommend actually trying to understand with your son what is it that he doesn't like ... talk to him about the taste, texture in a very neutral way i.e. not "I'm trying to make you realise you should like these things" but more "I'm just interested to know what it is that makes it not nice for you". If it is something like texture then you can suggest that you create some options that meet the texture requirements (e.g. falafels are crispy) and introduce variety that way. My ds also loves salt and butter on things so I often say if you don't like it try it with some salt and butter and see if that makes the difference. I also liked the op idea of having something you do like and something you don't on the plate.

I should add that he is a little better now he's older (9) and peer pressure helps ... this is about going round to other people's houses and feeling like he needed to be polite and eat what he was given. And also tastebuds evolving. Some bribery and corruption does help at times ... it's about what your kids respond to ... all are different. My younger son does not care one iota about sanctions so threats are no good but the older will respond to them.

You obviously care enough to post so I think already you are doing great, your kid is healthy and growing and I think that honestly you'll be fine! Just don't worry too much, try to eat with your kids when you can so they see you eating interesting food and enjoying it and I'm sure all will work out in the end!

I don't know, I think all the breaded stuff sounds a bit unhealthy unless you are making it yourself. The shop bought breaded chicken tends to be somewhat processed and greasy ime.

I would try him out on new things as much as possible tbh, even if it is on the side of something he will eat. I also think I would try to introduce vegetables other than sweet corn.

I think a healthy pudding such as fruit or yoghurt is fine even if they haven't eaten the main.

On the topic of "supertasters", most fussy adults I know have murdered their tastebuds by smoking or a lifetime of salty, processed crap so I think this theory is unlikely to account for many.

I would have thought the people with the strongest sense of taste would be those who eat and enjoy everything, as they are getting the full benefit of the flavour.

The full benefit of the flavour is not what you want if the flavour isn't very nice!

Why won't he eat other foods? Was a breakthrough for me & my Ds when he said it was the texture & smells, not the taste as he hadn't tasted most things he was afraid he'd be sick so I got him hypnotised. He had stew and dumplings last weekend. 3 mths ago wouldn't eat anything wet or soft

Thanks nevynevster xx this week I told him if he had my homemade fish pie for dinner on Monday he could have his favourite chicken dinner on Wednesday-he ate half a small portion ??