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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to feed my fussy 6 year old the same meals every week

95 replies

Agadooo · 05/10/2015 20:50

My 6 year old is v fussy n doesn't like most things so have now got in a rut making him the same things I know he'll eat every week-margarita pizza, breaded chicken with sweet corn n a few oven chips, breaded fish with sweetcorn and a few oven chips, pieces of chicken stir fried with baby corn cobs in a wrap, beans on toast, macaroni cheese and spaghetti bolognaise. Won't eat shepherds pie, fish pie, noodles, rice, chilli-I'm a bad mother aren't I ??? I serve it up n he tries a tiny spoon n says he doesn't like it and if I say he has to eat it, he'll want to please me n force down couple mouthfuls ??

OP posts:

Iggly · 05/10/2015 21:47

Sweetcorn is not indigestible - it is the husks, you're right. My ds eats loads of it.

My two can be fussy at times and they're in a rut of the same.meals at the moment. But I've noticed that my Fussiest (she's 3) will cycle through stuff she likes/dislikes. So I keep trying every now and then.

Ds, who's 6, is less fussy since he started eating schools meals so tries more things.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 05/10/2015 21:48

There is absolutely nothing wrong with that diet. Outside of MN where all children eat quinoa and sweetcorn is an unacceptable source of high sugar that is a normal, healthy diverse diet.

And sweetcorn husks are supposed to be indigestible. You're supposed to eat insoluble fibre - otherwise you won't poo.

TheTigerIsOut · 05/10/2015 21:50

The only worrying thing I can see in his diet is that he is hardly having any vegetables. Is he having any suplements? That "you are what you eat" phrase is true, much more when it comes to children, as their bodies need those nutrients when they are growing up.

We couldn't afford for DS to be fussy, so we always aked him to have at least a spoon of everything he was served. if he liked it, fantastic, if he didn't , we just tried again in a few weeks time. And, very important, we never ever offered to cook him something different if he didn't like what was on his plate. It was that or nothing.

There are still many things he won't eat but as long as he has his 5 vegetables portions, two portions of protein a day and enough carbs, things are fine.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 05/10/2015 21:51

This by the way

if a child is hungry they will eat

is utter bollocks.

ouryve · 05/10/2015 21:54

DS1 has expanded his palate periodically via "challenges" with monetary rewards, gamerchick. I think that's run its course, though. In this current contraction phase, I know that all I can do is carry on serving boring, safe food until he begs for something else.

Both of mine will go hungry, or just raid the cupboard for crap, if served something they find unpalatable. DS1 would probably throw a few things for good measure and maybe take it out on his brother.

TheTigerIsOut · 05/10/2015 21:55

Yeah, some parents say that, but if you have a child that has been deciding what to have for dinner all their life, they will need to get extremely hungry in order to eat. Bad habits die hard.

mummytime · 05/10/2015 21:55

There are children who will not eat on the "eat that or go hungry" method.
There are children who if you try that will develop anxiety over eating, which means they eat even less.

Try to introduce different things as a "just try this", and try them several times. Thats a good way to get a bit more variety.
My DC sometimes will try new things when outside of home, which can be another technique.

Florriesma · 05/10/2015 21:55

Oh ok I stand corrected on sweetcorn however there still isn't enough variety of veg imo. And I'm normal no quinoa in this house.
I will say that if you cave in to his choice of diet he will get fed up of it and refuse to eat that too.

arethereanyleftatall · 05/10/2015 22:00

This works for me...
I ask dc what they want for dinner each evening - then they get that, alongside something healthy. So,
'Fish fingers' becomes - fish fingers plus rice plus a big pile of veg.
'Chips' becomes - chips plus grilled mackerel plus a big pile of veg
Etc etc
I'll have to change my strategy when they ask for fish fingers and chips.

hazeyjane · 05/10/2015 22:05

You'd be a bad mother to stick to the diet just mentioned!

No you wouldn't op, that is just daft.

Just give him healthy meals with no alternative. If a child is hungry they will eat. They're only fussy if you let them be fussy ime

This is horse manure.

gamerchick · 05/10/2015 22:07

The challenges are still a novelty here ouryve I'm way past the paying him stage though. He's just basting in the praise now. He really wants to eat different foods and be like the kids at school (he's nearly 9). I'll make the most of it while it lasts.

i know what you mean by safe foods. Sometimes just a full tummy does.

Original poster

Agadooo · 05/10/2015 22:07

Thanks everyone-yes I know he isn't getting enough veg ??- I hide some when he has spag Bol but guess that's only once a week-drinks lots of water and never been constipated which is good but I'll try some of your ideas of a small bit of something new alongside stuf I know he likes. He'll eat weetabix some mornings (but also fond of biscuits) ?? x

OP posts:

jemsywemsy · 05/10/2015 22:07

Once DS turned 5 we started using bribery and corruption to get him to eat something other than pasta. I know you're not supposed to but after 4 years of not making a fuss and just putting things in front of him, like the experts tell you, and his diet getting progressively narrower, we felt we had no choice. So he was to try 5 bites (because he's 5) of each meal, and he'd get 15 minutes on the iPad. 6 months on, while he's still not exactly a foodie, he will eat most things and we no longer have to bribe, just encourage him with a bit of praise. He's a stubborn little thing and we just had to use some leverage! We did it all very calmly and positively, no tension around the dinner table. The dinner ladies at school were amazed by the change in him.

Original poster

Agadooo · 05/10/2015 22:11

Sorry for the ??-tried to add some emojis but just come up as ??-weird!

OP posts:

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 05/10/2015 22:19

they will need to get extremely hungry in order to eat

Or they will develop disordered eating, anxiety and generally make mealtimes hell.

But it seems the new normal is to force children to eat vegetables by bribery, begging, extortion, forcing and apparently starving them. And that is healthy apparently.

gamerchick · 05/10/2015 22:22

Na just pizza in my case. Veg is fine as long as it's mashed up and spoon fed

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 05/10/2015 22:27

Sorry, I'm probably being a buzzkill. Don't mean to offend anyone and whatever works for you. It doesn't work for me so I'm bitter.

FWIW OP I think your meal plan is fine and they generally try new things of their own accord if left to it.

Crazypetlady · 05/10/2015 22:45

Hey O.P google cauliflower sauce for pasta may help you hide more veggies:) you aren't a bad mother.

gamerchick · 05/10/2015 22:46

Noo I'm not offended It's just like a parents most powerful instinct is to feed their child.. It can even override their own survival instinct which is right at the top. If you have a child who is hard to feed and regularly going to bed on an empty tummy then you go with what works or you're stressed out man.

Mine is my third kid so you would think I would know the score. Sometimes shit just happens.

gamerchick · 05/10/2015 22:48

I think spag Bol is one of the easiest things to hide stuff in. Grate a carrot and you can't even see it, handful of red lentils which just melt into it. Then there's the tomatoes. Have an experiment with a grater and see what you can squeeze into it.

SniffsandSneezes · 05/10/2015 22:51

My Mum went to the 'you'll get what you're given and be grateful' school of parenting, and I'm probably now as unfussy about food as they come. My DP on the other hand was an indulged fussy eater as a child and unfortunately it's followed him into adulthood!

Pandaremote · 06/10/2015 00:26

My DS favourite food is fish pie (with a mashed potato top) yet he hates mashed potato

You just can't win sometimes.

My friend who has no DC was about to point out to him that the topping was indeed mash potato and what a silly so and so he was, but I managed to rugby tackle her in time to stop her, using the medium of miming actions.

Senpai · 06/10/2015 04:00

The only people who think children will eat anything if they're hungry enough are people who are lucky enough not to have picky eaters.

DD is pretty adventurous with her food. But if she doesn't like it, she's perfectly happy skipping a meal. Some nights she'll eat all manner of veggies, some nights she'll only have toast. But I still always try new things with her and if she doesn't eat it, then toast and a banana it is for the night. Sometimes it takes a few times of seeing it and getting used to the textures before she'll happily eat it.

Does he at least drink a glass of milk with dinner? There's a ton of vitamins in there that are good for children.

I would just keep offering him new dinners and what you want to eat with the knowledge that if he doesn't like it after trying it, he can have beans and toast or whatever.

Senpai · 06/10/2015 04:09

If he likes chips, can you try cauliflower tater tots?

gimmedelicious.com/2014/07/24/skinny-baked-cauliflower-tots/

Or Zucchini/Green bean fries if he likes breaded textures?

www.budgetbytes.com/2012/07/baked-zucchini-fries/

I'd start getting creative with sneaking veggies in. Unless he has a strong dislike towards a certain one, there's plenty of ways to make them taste good. It doesn't just have to be steamed veggies in a pile on your plate (as an adult I hate eating them like that).

HellKitty · 06/10/2015 04:16

I used to make minestrone soup from scratch, about 8 different veg. Liquidised it and the DCs just thought it was a tomatoey sauce on their pasta. Job done.

FWIW my eldest DS was very picky. He suddenly went off cheese too at 3 because his then best friend hated it. No mash, no pastry and everything was examined. He's 17 now and eats EVERYTHING. Even things I won't touch!

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