To wonder how to manage people asking questions ?

[UnlikelyPilgramage]

Sorry for vague title!

DD(4) started school this year. I am a single parent but actually chose to go down this route: as such, DD is the result of fertility treatment with donated sperm.

I have always been honest with her about this but we also know that while it isn't a secret it is private. If DD wishes to share when she's older that's fine.

I have had a lot of questions about DDs father - I have so far fudged things by saying 'oh, she doesn't have a dad!' with a smile. However, a couple of school gate mums have asked - curiously rather than nosily - what happened to him. I have simply kept things vague, along the lines of 'we don't see him' and so on.

Any ideas on how I can deflect the questions without resorting to rudeness? They aren't horrible women at all: I just feel the circumstances surrounding DDs conception aren't mine to share.

Thanks :)

They are being incredibly rude though there is a single mum that I talk too who has a son in ds class ds is in yr4 they have been in the same class since nursery as far as I know he doesn't see his dad no idea why none of my bloody business.

I can't recount every conversation but I promise you they are absolutely not rude, and I am a stickler for manners :)

Some great suggestions on this thread, many thanks for them.

"He's never been a part of our lives" - I know that's what a mum of one of my dds school friends says if the father of her son is ever mentioned. I've no idea how her son was conceived. I tend not to ask questions because I don't want any asked of me but that seems to cover all eventualities for her.

Oh dear, I would probably be one of the nosy people. I just find people's circumstances interesting. Probably my Asperger's is showing.

I wonder if your attempts to fudge the issue up til now have had the effect of making it seem all the more intriguing? If I asked something anodyne like, 'What does DD's dad do?' and you said 'oh, she doesn't have a dad!' with a smile, I would tend to think, wtf does that mean then?

There have been some good suggestions on this thread though. I like 'He's not/was never on the scene' or something like, 'Oh, I've always been a single parent.'

Apologies on behalf of all us nosy folk!