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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give notice this way as a lodger?

79 replies

BibiBlocksberg · 02/10/2015 19:22

Renting a room atm, the landlady rents main house herself from an agency & sub lets to me.

There were problems from the start, no washing facilities as machine broken, en-suite toilet broken, window can't be closed properly as is also broken.

Wasn't told about these until i put deposit down & got keys.

Two days after moving in, roadworks were put in place which mean the road my room which backs on to said road is being used as a local rat run.

It's constantly loud & busy now, short break between 3.30 & 5.30am then back to living on the M25 (effectively)

I hate it, can't sleep properly, relax etc, also, requests for updates on when the broken items will be fixed have been met with agression & a row basically as if i'm really cheeky for asking (well, ll kept telling me these items are in process of being done but then nothing happens)

Anyway, cut a long story short, i've found a much nicer place & will be movig out next friday.

Full month's rent is due today but can only give her one more weeks rent & will tell her to keep two weeks deposit she has already, effectively making it three weeks notice.

I know she will go mad as her rent is due on Monday, got to go tell her i'm going in a minute.....bricking it.

So, am i being totally unreasonable (no written agreement or anything & can't remember if notice period was verbally agreed) stupid i know, was very stressful time for me then)

OP posts:
Starkswillriseagain · 02/10/2015 22:03

Just tell her you've taken money off for the amenities being unfixed.

It's her issue she's short, she's subletting illegally and treating you abysmally. She's also being unfair on the LL not telling him/her about issues, what if something could worsen in damage over time? Plus the extra wear and tear.

I'd just tell her straight, you are leaving in a week, you are staying with friends because you aren't paying rent for something that's not as advertised. You are happy to take it up with the landlord and estate agent and expect your deposit back before you leave, or will be contacting LL directly to get it. Take pictures now while living there so you have proof.

She will get in a fuck ton of trouble for what she's doing or she'll do it again and again to other people, some of which may be too passive to move.

Honestly, I'd leave right now if you have someone to stay with. Don't give her a penny more.

wowfudge · 02/10/2015 22:08

Just a thought, but is there anyone you work with who could give you practical help if she gets shitty with you? Such as storing your stuff at their place for a few days. Far from ideal I know, but could help.

Original poster
BibiBlocksberg · 02/10/2015 22:12

No, no one else to stay with at this point which is why i was thinking of paying for the week - i have to live somewhere anyway for which i will i have to pay so figured may as well be here.

I know what you're saying stark, haven't got the guts to front her out like that tbh.

OP posts:
Cloppysow · 02/10/2015 22:22

I'd disappear in the middle of the night tonight and find a B&B for the weeks rent you're going to pay her but then i'm a chicken.

Original poster
BibiBlocksberg · 02/10/2015 22:26

That's what my ultimate worry is wowfudge that she'll kick off & me out.

Not sure about storing stuff, that may be easier, only have 1.5 car loads to shift/store anyway. Don't fancy living in my car for a week though :)

fastdaytears - your comment made me laugh, true though, i see your deposit & i raise you a broken loo, washing machine & window :)

offered to get a plumber in myself last night, met with angry opposition as waiting for a mysterious part that's been on order for a month....

Thanks again for support all, feel much calmer being able to put my churning thoughts in writing.

OP posts:
Original poster
BibiBlocksberg · 02/10/2015 22:34

:) Cloppysow - that sums up my conundrum, fellow chicken here :)

Thought about that earlier but it makes no sense to me to go through the upheaval of going to a b&b at similar cost (seaside town prices) when i can just move my stuff next Friday.

It comes down to two choices i feel 1) tell her the truth (ie unhappy living here due to broken stuff, traffic) which i think will be met with 'tough shit, you owe me a month, pay up' sort of attitude or 2) tell her i have to go as can't afford to stay - will still attract anger but not as much?

OP posts:
DontMindMe1 · 02/10/2015 22:39

second option - and don't leave for a week with your stuff unattended, she could very easily damage it in revenge.

Janeymoo50 · 02/10/2015 22:43

Cut your losses. Go.

Original poster
BibiBlocksberg · 02/10/2015 22:45

Thanks Don'tMindMe1, haven't got much worth damaging so not too worried there.

Nothing she can sell for much money either, sometimes living a minimalist life has its advantages :)

OP posts:
LikeASoulWithoutAMind · 02/10/2015 22:46

I'd take the B&B option if the cost is similar. Just pack up and leave.

wowfudge · 02/10/2015 23:18

What you could do if you were worried about being turfed out before next Friday is change the barrel on the lock on your door - replace it with the original when you move out. They cost about £10 and it's not difficult to do.

Actually I'm now thinking you could just tell her you can't afford it so you're moving somewhere cheaper. What can she say to that? If it's queried say you've had some unexpected bills.

Original poster
BibiBlocksberg · 02/10/2015 23:34

Not likely to start on the locks, thanks for idea though wowfudge.

Good point about not being able to afford it any longer - think i'm overthinking this too much.

I don't have to give a ton of detail do i? Just tell in am, i'm sorry for the short notice, have been trying to raise full month but can't manage it, here is a weeks money, i'll be gone next Friday.

Or words to that effect, not thinking straight anymore...too many thoughts for one day :)

OP posts:
PiperChapstick · 03/10/2015 00:01

If you had a tenancy agreement you couldn't use the deposit to make up unpaid rent. However I think in the circumstances and the fact no agreement is in place, you'll get away with it - it's not quite the 'right thing' to do but if you need out you need out!

VimFuego101 · 03/10/2015 00:52

I would call Shelter to check what your rights are here. I would also tread very carefully with giving her notice and then leaving your stuff unattended. You could pay her a week's notice, then she could change the locks, and as a lodger rather than a tenant, there would be little you could do.

amarmai · 03/10/2015 00:54

get a friend to help and pitch your stuff out of the broken window and do a moonlit flit ! stop feeling guilty- she's the one who is guilty.

Original poster
BibiBlocksberg · 03/10/2015 01:02

Yes, that is a point re the locks, i gather from my googling the subject she has to let me have my stuff back though, if that's in the form of bin bags outside the door then so be it.

Still searching for a reason to give her as to why i suddenly can't pay her any more than a week....

Cheapest place i've found for b&b is £150 for a week which is more than my weeks rent, damn this expensive town.

OP posts:
amarmai · 03/10/2015 01:53

maybe you lost your job? B&B s are cheaper off season-maybe bargain them down.

Imustgodowntotheseaagain · 03/10/2015 06:13

Maybe you had an unexpexted 500 quid bill on the car and can't get a loan off your benevolent uncle for the rent till Friday? I would not give her the week's notice either. I'd wait till friday, pack my car, pay the week just gone and run away.

Pseudo341 · 03/10/2015 06:32

She may be legally obliged to give you your stuff back but from the sound of it she's legally obliged not to sublet so I don't think she'll give a shit about the law if you piss her off. I seriously wouldn't risk telling her you're going before you've got your stuff out. Can you stay somewhere cheaper out of town for a week maybe?

ivykaty44 · 03/10/2015 06:38

Tell ll you give her till Friday to get the washing machine and look fixed and then you will talk about rent for the following month as these items need to be fixed

Stellar67 · 03/10/2015 06:43

Try Airbnb? LL sounds awful.

blueistheonlycolourwefeel · 03/10/2015 07:20

I don't understand why you're so worried about what excuse to give her? I appreciate you're worried she will kick you out, but why is the excuse going to change that?
And why are you so worried about how it's going to effect her? She sounds horrible. It's not your issue if she can't pay her rent when she's not bothered to mend all the broken things!

Original poster
BibiBlocksberg · 03/10/2015 08:02

Fixated on the excuse as need to go into the house in a min and she will likely ask me where the money is (she wanted me to give her cash on thursday evening, i said i'd prefer to bank transfer it blah blah)

That was when i was still planning on staying for another month, new place only confirmed Friday am.

Anyway, waffling again, very soon this morning, she will ask me where her money is & i still don't know what i will say to that.

Need to keep things civil until i can find somewhere else to stay.

Air B&B is a good idea, will have a look at that now thanks

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 03/10/2015 10:03

Just stall her until Friday. It doesn't matter what excuse you use, she wouldn't be short of the rent amount if she hadn't spent the deposit (the bloody nerve of her!)
Don't pay for this week, you're entitled to your deposit back but you're very unlikely to see a penny of it.
You're having a cash flow crisis, no cash until Friday. Then just walk out the door in Friday without a backward glance.

dustarr73 · 03/10/2015 10:17

If you ring a b and b and say you are looking for a week let as you are between flats,they will do you a deal.Do you have any male friends to go round wtht you as you are packing up.She will be unlikely to start wiht witnesses.And do you know what i would ring the LL as she will only do this to someone else.

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