to think that his DB should gift him a small amount from his large inheritance

[Muckogy]

My colleague is not doing well financially. His brother and DW received a large inheritance of over £110,000 (from her side of the family). they were well off already. my colleague was telling me about it and was delighted for them. i said little but thought it was a bit mean that he didn't receive even a small sum from his DB. my colleague had to give a 3rd of his godfather's inheritance to his 2 DBs when he was younger. any thoughts?

Was it a random relative or one of SIL parents? Although it shouldn't make a difference, if it was an unexpected windfall it would be more normal to share it around than if it's your inheritance from your parents that you're sort of expecting one day.

That would be like my DH inheriting money and him not giving my DB some of it? It wouldn't even cross my mind that DH should give my DB any of his inheritance. That would be weird and also not mine to give away.

It is not his money to gift.

I don't think he should have been made to gift his godparents money though, it should have been his choice if he wanted.

Starks, The OP's colleague is not actually expecting a bean from his SIL's inheritance, but yes I agree that nobody should be "made" to share an inheritance unless expressly stated in the will.

I received an inheritance last year. Like hell would I have given any to DH's sister. Nothing to do with her.

YABU. I can't see anyone would do anything differently to what your colleges brother and SIL have done.

Is it just me, or does anyone else wonder what the hell all this entitlement around inheritances is about?? It really does seem to come down to "they've got it / I want it / so they should give it to me"

I get folk thinking it might be nice, but to actually expect it??

Pathetic

Well to be fair Puzzled, the OP's colleague seems to have a very good attitude. Although he is experiencing financial difficulty, he is happy for his DB and SIL and hasn't expected nor asked for a penny. It's only the OP who think they should give him some.

No if it's money from SIL's family then I don't really se any reason for her to share it with her husband's family. Sorry.

OP the real problem is that it looks like your colleague was pushed (bullied?) by family into giving some of an inheritance which was purely his own to his brothers. How old was he when that happened?

I have always viewed the relationship between god-parent and god-child as something strictly between the two of them. Not something which should involve others.

My older DB enjoyed a good relationship with his god-mother. If he inherited anything from her when she died then that is purely their business. None of mine.

I agree, MissBattleaxe - but wherever it's coming from it still boils down to an expectation about someone else's inheritance, which is what I just don't get

I had this after receiving a legacy myself when a young waster's eyes lit up (son of a friend). I was deluged in suggestions about investing in his so far unmentioned "new business" and out of sheer interest suggested he provide a business plan. All that appeared was a string of begging emails ...

Agree puzzled. Me and DH have a relative like that. Entitled doesn't begin to cover it!

I received a large inheritance (much more than £110k) recently. If dh's siblings suddenly thought I'd be giving them a sum I'd be flabbergasted. I'll be giving very nice Christmas presents this year though. I'm thinking spa weekends, laptops, fine jewellery and the like. They've no clue it's coming...

Ooh, I wouldn't.

I've already discussed with dh about how to hide our £35m Euromillions win (I can dream). I think people would be very speculative and it would provoke some jealousy if you suddenly started buying people expensive Christmas presents. Instead of being pleased with a laptop, someone might think, "How much have they got? They could've paid off my mortgage, the mean so-and-sos."

Nah, my family including in laws are lovely people. I'd tell them we had come into money though. They are far too well mannered to even ask how, or how much. They just wouldn't expect me to pay their mortgages, which they are perfectly capable of paying off themselves.

I should add that none of them are financially struggling.

OP You sound a bit pompous tbh. I wouldn't discuss my family's business with you.

So my dp's parents worked for over 40years and then pass away. He stand to inherit slightly more than in the OP. Why would my brother get anything. Not his parents and not mine either. Whatever he does with his inheritance is up to him and it's not my money to go handing out to my family.

Absolutely not, it's from her family, nothing to do with your colleagues family.

I think it's strange that you know a roughly what they inherited, it's the kind of thing people don't discuss with colleagues.
My DBIL inherited an absolute fortune. We were genuinely pleased for them, they had had an awful couple of years.
He did give some to his dnephews and dnieces, so our DC have benefitted.
It was a very generous and lovely surprise and completely unexpected.
We are a very close family.
If people want to give away some/all of their inheritance, they will do it of their own accord.

YABU I wouldn't give my SIL any money from my family inheritance regardless of her financial situation