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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that his DB should gift him a small amount from his large inheritance

70 replies

Muckogy · 01/10/2015 14:19

My colleague is not doing well financially. His brother and DW received a large inheritance of over £110,000 (from her side of the family). they were well off already. my colleague was telling me about it and was delighted for them. i said little but thought it was a bit mean that he didn't receive even a small sum from his DB. my colleague had to give a 3rd of his godfather's inheritance to his 2 DBs when he was younger. any thoughts?

OP posts:
Blowninonabreeze · 01/10/2015 14:49

I received a similar inheritance a few years ago.

It's been invested to help towards school costs when the DC reach secondary school age.

It never occurred to me (or DH) that Dh's sister (or her colleagues!!) might expect to receive some of it!

WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 01/10/2015 14:50

No chance. My sil inherited large sums twice. Her and my db have been able to give up work. It's never crossed my mind that I should have some.

WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 01/10/2015 14:52

And when I inherited some money recently I haven't even shared it with dh. Never mind his siblings.

MissBattleaxe · 01/10/2015 14:54

I inherited some money and there's not a chance in hell I would give my horrible BIL a penny. Of course I shared it with DH though! It's all one pot.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 01/10/2015 15:09

It's his wife's inheritance, not his, no I wouldn't expect her to hand over money to her BIL.

Tiggeryoubastard · 01/10/2015 15:13

Would you honestly expect to work hard all your life to leave something to someone not in your family, that you possibly don't even know?

TheWoodenSpoonOfMischief · 01/10/2015 15:23

There's nothing wrong with the op pondering this. I'm sure she's thinking if she was in this situation then that's what she'd do.
I would gladly help out family if needed to if I was in a similar situation but I wouldn't expect my dh to give any of his inheritance to my brothers. However, dh is the kind of person who would.

MarshaBrady · 01/10/2015 15:27

No chance, it's from her side of the family.

BojackHorseman · 01/10/2015 15:32

Absolutely no way.

diddl · 01/10/2015 15:34

His brother might not even see any of it!

Drew64 · 01/10/2015 15:34

No, it was his brothers DW inheritance and nothing to do with him

Septembersunrays · 01/10/2015 15:35

I would never ever want a penny of my familys money going to my sil!

its her families money.

if we all got on and she was on hard ish times, I would try and gift her something small, particularity depending on circns of why he had to give up his godfathers inheritance.

MissMarpleCat · 01/10/2015 15:35

My siblings wouldn't do it for me, but I would do it for them.

Gottagetmoving · 01/10/2015 15:36

It would be up to the wife whether any money should be given away.
Your colleague should not even expect it if it was his DB who inherited the money.
It would be NICE if they gave him some but no reason they should.

FunkyPeacock · 01/10/2015 15:38

My DH inherited a significant amount of money when my FIL died. It never crossed my mind that my DH should give some of this money to my brother

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 01/10/2015 15:38

Tell you what, if my DM died and left me some money (although the thought of my DM having anything to leave apart from 20 Benson and her collection of Primark handbags) and my DH said 'can we give some to my brother cos he's skint...' Shock

No. That would never happen.

FunkyPeacock · 01/10/2015 15:39

and I certainly wouldn't expect my brother to give me any money if his DW inherited a lump sum!

Seventhcircleofbumholes · 01/10/2015 15:43

I thought you were going to say they'd inherited about £2 million and were being stingy not giving away a few thousand. TBH, £110,000 isn't that much money when you consider cost of living and house prices so I'm not sure it's a big enough sum to be thinking about giving portions of it away.

Moreover, they may appear 'well-off' but this is all relative and you don't know if they've got credit cards, cars on finance, big mortgage etc. so may not be able to spare any of it.

beefthief · 01/10/2015 15:46

You're too bloody nosy imo

laffymeal · 01/10/2015 15:48

YABU. It's none of your business how your colleague's DB spends his WIFE's money.

DurhamDurham · 01/10/2015 15:58

I've never worked in an office where we discussed our family finances....except to moan about being broke at the end of the month that is.....and that seemed to be the norm.

sleeponeday · 01/10/2015 16:24

I don't get this at all. It's nothing to do with your colleague - it's his in-laws that the money is from. I also don't get why he had to give some of his godfather's inheritance to his siblings, either. Presumably they also had godparents? (And how do you know this, if he's simply delighted for them and doesn't feel entitled to any on this occasion?)

I'd be really pissed off if I left my kids our assets, and our DD was told by her DH's family that she had to hand over a chunk to his siblings. That money is mine to leave where I want, and I want it for my kids and grandchildren, and while if they want to donate some to anyone or anything else that would be their choice, being made to feel they "owe" it in that manner is not okay.

Spartans · 01/10/2015 16:47

Sorry but I wouldn't be giving dh sister any cut of any inheritance a may get. I would be pissed off if dh asked.

If dh got some inheritance and felt he should give his sister some, I would say that's up to him.

I think it's pretty wrong for your friend to think of this as his brothers money or feel shit about not getting any himself.

MissBattleaxe · 01/10/2015 16:51

Actually the colleague/friend wasn't expecting any of it. He was delighted for them. It was the OP who thought he ought to get some.

MoonSandwich · 01/10/2015 17:11

I don't see anything wrong with the OPs OP, she is just musing and is not planning on saying or doing anything. Confused

I agree with everyone else though and it wouldn't cross my mind that any of the SILs inheritance would go to your colleague.

I want any money I leave to my kids to go to them or their children.