To have no idea what to say to this girl?

[DrSeuss]

A Y11, doing her make up in the middle of a lesson when she thought I wouldn't see.

Apparently, I am unreasonable as there is no way she can concentrate with even slightly smudged eye liner!
Funny, sad, terrifying. Her appearance is so important that a tiny flaw renders her incapable of thinking about her studies? Or anything else?
I asked what she wants to do for a living (air stewardess). I put it to her that, while a certain standard of personal presentation is required for this job, other things might also be needed and she would hardly be able to slack off to apply make up!
I 'd ask her if the Pankhursts were big on mascara but the irony would be lost on her. She's a bright girl, lots of potential.

Please God don't let DD turn out like that in ten years time.

Christ you sound patronising.

Ooh goody! Abuse! And on my very first response! Is this a new Mumsnet record?

I think she was just whining. Can't concentrate with make up smudged? Don't wear it. As for potential. Not if she wont knuckle down. Makeup adjustment os for toilet breaks (and a modicum of privacy).

yep, definitely patronising.

YABU.

She was rude, but 15 and 16 year old girls can tend towards being unreasonable/vain/thoughtless and overly worried about their appearance. It's fairly standard and i'm surprised that you're so surprised tbh - have you not been teaching long?

I wouldn't even consider leaving the house at age 16 without eyeliner on. At 29, the 16 year old me seems like another person and wasn't early proof that I would turn into a vain, shallow airhead . I don't think you need to be too worried about her.

It sounds like a bolshy answer rather than a genuine sign of distress at her appearance genuinely rendering her unable to concentrate in class. I would be 99% certain that she was mouthing off, not confiding in you about her lack of self esteem.

Maybe, but it's a growing phenomenon, in my experience. A few years ago, the school I taught in got a beautiful, new all weather pitch. Some girls hated it because now they have to play sport outdoors and get frizzy hair! Another one had a bulging bag full of make up but no pen or books. We used to try to sneak make up and nail varnish past teachers but it was a very minor activity, not our whole world!

Also agree with the pp - very patronising.

'Funny, sad, terrifying'? It sounds like a bad line from one of those awful 'deep, thoughtful' pious type books. Cringey. And way ott for a description of fairly typical 15 year old girl worries.

Kids are allowed make up in school??? (Showing self up as old fart!).

Maybe she found your lesson boring?

Obviously I don't think 16 year olds should be doing their make-up in lessons, but your post here unfortunately suggests that you don't have a lot of respect for your students. They're young adults not children and this lack of respect is very likely to be reciprocated.

"abuse" used a bit too lightly on MN these days

anyway OP good point but people change such a lot around this age, if she's bright she'll have said it in a tongue in cheek way

I remember being escorted down the corridors to the labs to get my nail polish scrubbed off missing lessons for a bit of purple on my nails. Actually no that bit was worth sacrificing the purple for.

God I hated outside sports. Bloody cruelty on the schools part if you ask me.

OP I'm with you. YANBU

No make up allowed at DDs school. Of course they do wear it, but they couldn't complain that it was smudged!

Teenagers are a pretty vain lot though aren't they? Appearance is one of the few ways they can control a little bit of their world.

I wouldn't be despairing but you were right to pull her up on it. There's a time and a place and like it or not if she doesn't reign it in a bit she will get judged on it.

Air hostesses don't get to touch up their lippy while they run through the emergency exits, a barrister isn't going to reapply their eyeliner during a judge summarising a case and you won't get any understanding if you stop pouring a pint to powder your nose.

Manners innit

Actually as a parent of two girls in this age group, I am rather jaw dropped at just how much time and money they (and their friends) spend on their faces compared with myself and my peers at the same age.

If it's any comfort OP, my two both still got a good sweep of As and A*s and are now happily studying their A levels of choice in the Sixth Form of their choice.

Lol@ patronising.

Judging a 15 year old who is putting on make up in a lesson is not being patronising.

What? Teens are obsessed with their appearance and other trivial things? No. Way.

Next time, instead of focusing on her looks and patronizing her about what career she wants (because make up and good careers are not mutually exclusive), just tell her to put it away and work on her studies.

I 'd ask her if the Pankhursts were big on mascara but the irony would be lost on her

This is not patronising? In whose world?!

Are they allowed make at your school OP? That would be unusual for my local schools.

You do sound a bit superior - it's not the most outrageous transgression I've had to deal with- firm but kind is the way I deal with it by saying " you look prettier without it" type of thing?

State school or private?

I was like that at 15, and became a lawyer. I wouldn't lose sleep over it, OP, but you are within your rights to ask her politely to not do it again in your class.

Love it. The girl is disrespectful enough to ignore you and put in make up in the middle of the lesson and you are the bad guy for being patronizing and 'maybe your lesson was boring'.

I'm sure you can't capture everyone's interest all of the time, but you have a valid point - we cannot stop on the middle of the working day whenever we want to reapply make up. She does need to know that it's unacceptable.

nofunking in my opinion teachers should be superior to the pupils. I expect a bit of discipline and respect in a classroom.....but I might be the most old fashioned 30 year old I know. YANBU OP.