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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To keep these clothes that weren't charged for?

465 replies

MinecraftWonder · 29/09/2015 20:03

Yesterday I went shopping and picked up a new coat each for the dc (at Matalan if it's relevant)- total cost was £45.

I got to the till, went in my bag and didn't have my purse
So I apologised, said i'd nip home and the man on the till put them behind the counter for me.

Returned a couple of hours later and picked up some packs of pants by the till when I was queuing, which were a fiver. Handed them over and asked for the coats behind the till that had been put by for me (this was a woman). She put everything in a bag for me, I paid with my card and out I went.

Anyway, it's only tonight I've pulled them out of the bag along with the receipt - and I have a receipt for £5.05 (the pants and a 5p bag charge). The coats weren't charged for. I didn't even check the amount at the checkout, just stuck my card in and paid.

WWYD? I feel really guilty even though it wasn't my fault. I don't know if the second person who served me just made a mistake or thought maybe they were already paid for (but why would they be?!). They've not got security tags on so one of them must have taken them off.

So keep and look at it as good luck or be honest and go back and pay for them? Opinion is currently divided in my house!

OP posts:

Whatthefucknameisntalreadytake · 30/09/2015 20:08

I would pay for them if it were me. Not because I'm saintly but because I believe in karma and so I'd be scared of bad shit happening to me if I didn't do the right thing. Op you do seem determined not to pay for them regardless of anything so it is a bit curious that you started this thread as though paying for them was an option you were considering, when it became apparent quite quickly that you had no intention of doing that.

Sapele · 30/09/2015 20:11

I didn't intend to imply that you are being financially abused. It was a question. I can't work out your motives because you won't discuss them, so I am shooting in the dark trying to work them out.

It's Ok. You don't have to tell us why you won't do it. That's for you to know.

I'm not unhinged I'm also not that desperate that I really care about your life. But I care about the issue you have raised and will discuss it if I want to till the cows come home.

You can go and do something else if you like, honestly.

AnnaMarlowe · 30/09/2015 20:15

From your previous post OP:

I don't for one minute believe that everyone who's posted would do as they've said and return them/go in and pay. It's easy to give it the big morality I am when you're talking hypothetically.

So liars and hypocrites then.

I'm going to step away from this thread now.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/09/2015 20:15

Eveysdad - I have handed in a tenner found in the street at the police station. As I said earlier on in this thread, I went back into Sainsburys to pay for a Cadburys Fudge that had ended up under my handbag in the trolley and got overlooked at the checkout. I've also rung Tesco when they've accidentally delivered a bag of someone else's shopping - on a couple of occasions they told me to keep it, and on another then sent the driver back for it - that time it was 2 bottles of wine, in my Christmas food delivery, but I didn't think, way hey, free wine - I was honest.

I haven't ever been given too much money at the cashpoint (though I have been given too much change and have handed back the overpayment), but as a student I once forgot to wait for my cash at the cash machine, and didn't realise until way too late. It was only £10, but as a student, that was a fair sum of money to me, and I could ill-afford to lose it.

Luckily the next person at the cashpoint was honest (in the way you dismiss as impossible) and took the tenner into the bank, along with her cashpoint receipt - enabling them to pinpoint the transaction that had left the money in the machine and to pay it back into my account.

Regardless of your jaded and cynical,view, honesty does exist, and people do do the right thing.

Bearbehind · 30/09/2015 20:17

sapele there's no point.

The OP is unbelievably naive.

She thinks that continuing this on a public forum is funny and clever.

The reality is it's making it more and more likely she'll be found out.

OP, have you no idea how many people read this forum or what they might do for a living.....?

Think on.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/09/2015 20:18

The cynic in me is saying that some people on here want to believe that no-one is honest, because then they can be dishonest, and excuse it to themselves because everyone is doing it.

But if they started to believe that there are people who are honest, and would return the tenner or pay for the goods they hadn't been charged for, then their own dishonesty or potential dishonesty looks a bit shabby in comparison.

Original poster

MinecraftWonder · 30/09/2015 20:20

Bearbehind - no tbh. It really doesn't concern me at all.

Any Matalan workers here out of interest who feel the urge to report it? Or police officer that think their boss would be interested?

OP posts:

Sapele · 30/09/2015 20:20

SDTG, I'm liking your bank machine story because one time I passed an ATM which had a tenner sticking out. No one was around so I took it into the branch and gave it to them and they told me they could trace the account from my transaction, and return it.

I was a bit and wondered if it just went into their petty cash but I think I posted on here and was told it was true.

Maybe it was yours eh

The thing is, if I didn't plan to have an extra tenner than I don't really want it - or need it. I assume I won't find £10 walking down the street so I plan for not having it. Surely that's normal?

Which means it's no great sacrifice to give it back to the person who was expecting to have it. It's not like it costs me anything, not like I have lost out by returning it.

I may not have gained something but I certainly haven't lost anything, as it was never mine to lose.

Bearbehind · 30/09/2015 20:23

Any Matalan workers here out of interest who feel the urge to report it? Or police officer that think their boss would be interested?

Jesus- you are brazen- I really hope karma bites you on the arse- hard.

Original poster

MinecraftWonder · 30/09/2015 20:26

SDTG - I've no doubt that some (many maybe) who've posted really are as honest as they say.

I've also no doubt that there are many keyboard warriors on here who would find their morals suddenly shift if it happened to them. Opinions that people give in rl seem to be hugely reversed to those on mn (my experience and the pp who said only 3 out of 17 she asked wouldn't have had thoughts of keeping them).

So seeing as the pp quoted me - no, I don't believe that everyone is as honest as they say. Some will be - but not everyone on here.

OP posts:

Sapele · 30/09/2015 20:28

Thinking about keeping them doesn't make a person dishonest. Actually keeping them does.

Clear?

MoonSandwich · 30/09/2015 20:30

TskTsk Minecraft I think you are just having fun winding people up now. I'm waiting for you to post that you have already paid for the coats.

You say you started the thread to discuss the moral aspect but have said almost nothing about what you think about the morals of keeping the coats without paying for them. You said you were feeling really guilty in the OP but haven't mentioned any doubts in any subsequent posts. Curious.

Original poster

MinecraftWonder · 30/09/2015 20:32

I found £40 in an ATM in a shop a few months back. My heart skipped a beat for a split second before I kicked myself and turned and chased a woman half way down the road to give it to her.

I don't think many people's morals are as black and white as has been made out - different people will have different shades of grey for their own moral compass. Having £40 of cash from an actual person would have really, seriously bothered me.

This - not so much. Although despite what some have posted, I've still not decided yet whether i'll contact them.

OP posts:

kungfupannda · 30/09/2015 20:33

I may have told this story on MN before, but when I was newly qualified my firm had a long-standing client - a woman with 20+ year drug addiction and a record as long as your arm. I was heading to a cashpoint near by office and this client was begging next to it. I was dithering, because I didn't want her to recognise me and ask me for money - we weren't allowed to give clients money and I always felt like a bit of a dick saying so - like I was saying 'my mum won't let me.' The woman at the cashpoint was a young mum with a screaming baby in a pram, talking on the phone and sounding stressed. She took her bank card and then walked away without her cash. The client got up, got the cash and chased after the woman to return it.

When she came back I got my cash out and gave her some - the only time I ever did it. When I made some stupid comment about her doing such a nice thing, she shrugged and said 'I'm not a thief.' I remember thinking and then I went back to the office, looked in her most recent file, and sure enough - long record of prostitution offences, begging, drugs of all descriptions. No shoplifting, no fraud. No dishonesty whatsoever. I felt like a complete knob because I bet she could see me thinking 'yeah right.'

Sadly she died a couple of years later from a drug-related illness.

Original poster

MinecraftWonder · 30/09/2015 20:33

OR - it could be a massive reverse moon and i'm actually the cashier that's realised my fuck up

OP posts:

CurlyhairedAssassin · 30/09/2015 20:38

Haven't even bothered reading past the OP because I don't believe this happened for one moment. I don't believe that anyone just shoves a card in and doesn't take note of what it actually says on the display RIGHT NEXT TO where it tells you to put your pin number in. oP is joshing with us.

Sapele · 30/09/2015 20:39

Perhaps you are. So?

Although despite what some have posted, I've still not decided yet whether i'll contact them.

I don't really care what you do. It's hard to get emotionally invested in an OP who posts with so little grace or genuine feeling.

Do what you want.

MinecraftWonder · 30/09/2015 20:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Sapele · 30/09/2015 20:46

Nothing you have posted is stinging. I just can't be arsed any more.

And you have insulted me already, but it doesn't matter.

You're not the sort of person I want to spend any more of my time on.

MinecraftWonder · 30/09/2015 20:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Bearbehind · 30/09/2015 20:50

OP, regardless of what you decide to do about the coats, you've really shown your true colours on here and it's nothing to be proud of.

Sapele · 30/09/2015 20:51

I've already gone.

Spectre8 · 30/09/2015 20:52

YABU - go pay for them. You had the money to buy them so its not like you can't afford it. Despicable behaviors to know you haven't paid for something, mistakes happen in shops but it doesn't make it right to say well its their own fault.

KourtneyK · 30/09/2015 20:53

What Bear said, with bells on.

Prettyeyedpiratesmile · 30/09/2015 20:54

OP are you going to pay for them? Like I've said before I hold my hands up to say I'm with you on the "woohoo!! Reaction but I'm curious to know what you're going to do

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