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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at this name stealing.

56 replies

Izzy82 · 28/09/2015 22:41

I can't decide if this is weird or not. My husband and his cousin have the same surname (let's say Smith) as their dads are brothers. Last year I had a son (let's say Joe).
Now... The cousin's wife is pregnant and if they have a son have said they will also call him Joe. So there will be 2 Joe smiths in one family. Is that weird or am I being precious?

OP posts:
BackInTheRealWorld · 28/09/2015 22:44

Precious. REALLY precious.
It's your husbands cousins child...that's not even very related!

Catsize · 28/09/2015 22:44

Depends how close they are really.

totalrecall1 · 28/09/2015 22:45

That would piss me off, but I can't see what you are going to be able to do about it. There are millions of names out there, it pretty pathetic to choose the same one

EatShitDerek · 28/09/2015 22:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 28/09/2015 22:47

Would they both be named after their shared grandpa?

TheTroubleWithAngels · 28/09/2015 22:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GrinAndTonic · 28/09/2015 22:48

My best friends brother has named his DS the same as her DS. Surnames are slightly different so now there is a Peter Smith and a Peter Smith Jones.
Family gatherings will be fun.

DonkeyOaty · 28/09/2015 22:49

Naw not weird and yep ye are being precious.

Nb in my family there are loads of Johns. Big John, Little John, Young John, John boy (we shout night John boy!) etc. Is nice acksherley.

OwlinaTree · 28/09/2015 22:50

How often to they see each other? It's a bit different if they go to the same school or live on the same street.

I would avoid choosing a name another family member I saw even semi regularly had already chosen. Not so with friends.

Original poster
Izzy82 · 28/09/2015 22:58

I haven't said anything to the mum (and wouldn't dream of doing so) I personally just think it's weird. No, they won't be named after a shared grandad- she just likes the name. We live close-ish and they will be in the same secondary school but not primary- one year apart in age.

OP posts:
LemonPied · 28/09/2015 23:00

My sister and my cousin have the same name. Susan for instance. So we have Big Susan and Little Susan.

catfordbetty · 28/09/2015 23:01

This is the problem of someone without enough to worry about.

Prettyeyedpiratesmile · 28/09/2015 23:02

I you're close then I think it's a bit Hmm and id be tempted to make a light hearted "oh you must have more imagination than to use the same name as us!" But if you're not close to them then I'd let it slide.

Original poster
Izzy82 · 28/09/2015 23:04

'This is the problem of someone without enough to worry about'

Is it really necessary to be quite so rude!

OP posts:
catfordbetty · 28/09/2015 23:05

That was me being polite.

ForChina · 28/09/2015 23:15

Well I think it's weird - perhaps you feel entitled to be rude to me too then, but it doesn't make you any more pleasant.

If it's any consolation, OP, everyone in your family will know you had yours first and will think they are a bit odd for copying.

CheesyNachos · 28/09/2015 23:18

To be honest I would not like it at all. Partic if they will be in the same school.

We have a 'family' name on both sides....... but it means that all the DCs have the same middle name. That is okay, and a nice link. Exact same first and last name? i'd not be too thrilled to be honest. I don't think it is being precious to not like that much. The children are unique. Can't they have different names?

MoonSandwich · 28/09/2015 23:33

It wouldn't bother me, although I wouldn't do it myselfSmile I think it's quite cute actually.

if it's quite a popular name then I expect that your BIL and his wife had already chosen it before you had your child. I doubt they have copied you. If they had then that would be weird but otherwise it's just a coincidence.

FanOfSpam · 28/09/2015 23:35

YABU - Joe Smith is quite possibly the most uninspired name I have ever heard.

BikeRunSki · 28/09/2015 23:37

Previous. I gave 3 sets of cousins (who are also cousins to each other) called Joe and Chris; two sets have the same surname. But it is a very unusual surname.

Original ? Never!

brokenhearted55a · 28/09/2015 23:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 28/09/2015 23:39

It's not stealing, it's a name! You can't own a name.

Mrsfrumble · 28/09/2015 23:40

It's not necessarily "copying" though, is it? Unless it's a very unusual name that the cousin and his wife had never heard of before OP named her child, it's more likely that it's a name they've liked for ages and are planning to use it in spite of OP having got there first, not because of it.

Pranmasghost · 28/09/2015 23:41

My Grandad was Jim Smith and on his honeymoon in 1920 he signed the register as Mr and Mrs J Smith. The landlady insisted on seeing the marriage certificate and still gave them a room with twin beds!

TPel · 28/09/2015 23:41

At least they didn't give the dog the same name Grin