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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not go to my graduation?

40 replies

cakedup · 28/09/2015 10:49

I'm just not feeling it tbh. I got my degree, and I just don't see the point. I'm not particularly a pomp and ceremony kind of person. And it'll just be a minute of me 'collecting' my degree, then hours of listening to names being read out.

I'm also so relieved the degree is over and so eager to leave it all behind and move on. I don't regret doing it but I did find it really stressful as a 43 year old lone parent and not as fulfilling as I'd hoped. I graduated in July and it's not until December which makes it feel even more pointless. Also:

I'd rather spend the hat & gown money on something else

I didn't particularly get on with most of the crowd and after spending 3 years with these people, I don't particularly want to spend another day with them

I don't feel particularly proud as I set out to achieve a first and fell short by 2%

And you don't even get to throw your hat in the air!!! Against health and safety apparently.

But friends are telling me I might regret it.

Anyone here who didn't attend their graduation and have regrets? Or not?

OP posts:
DoJo · 28/09/2015 10:55

I attended mine, but don't think I would have regretted if it I hadn't - it was pretty boring and I mostly did it so that my parents (who had spent a lot of money on my university education) got the chance to come along and enjoy the day. I don't remember much about it and didn't even keep the official photos as I looked like a grinning loon.

Bluewombler2k · 28/09/2015 10:57

I didn't attend mine, hasn't affected my life one bit. I definitely don't regret not going, it's just one day and the 3 years work you put in is worth much more.

Twickerhun · 28/09/2015 10:59

I didn't hpto mind, some friends and I went out for a fancy afternoon tea instead. Thoes who did go said the ceremony was dull but they enjoyed the buzz of the eventX

Theycallmemellowjello · 28/09/2015 11:00

I attended my BA graduation, but not my masters or PhD. I was massively exhausted and hungover for my BA graduation, and we had to get all of our stuff out of halls on the same day, so I found the whole thing a total chore. Very long and boring, lots of Latin and lots of hanging around on a hot day in uncomfortable clothes. My parents loved it though! I have no regrets about not going to the others. I think that some people feel a great sense of pride and achievement in the formality of the graduation ceremony. That's great, but I think you'll know if you are the type to feel that. So if you're not fussed I probably wouldn't bother. The only thing is you might disappoint family members if they are that way inclined.

herderofcats · 28/09/2015 11:01

I didn't attend mine and have never regretted it.

Original poster
cakedup · 28/09/2015 11:03

Well yes, my dad might want to come, but I think he is already so proud of me for doing it. My mum would just want the photos so she can put it on her fb wall for her friends to see. But at 43 I'm kind of beyond disappointing family members!

OP posts:
FannyFifer · 28/09/2015 11:03

I didn't go. Not my thing
.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 28/09/2015 11:03

Of course you won't regret it. Mine took ages and the only bit I liked was the lunch afterwards, you can still do that bit Grin

TeaPleaseLouise · 28/09/2015 11:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jeee · 28/09/2015 11:06

I recently completed my PGCE, but didn't go to the ceremony. I was filling in the forms and writing various cheques out, when I realised that, actually, I didn't have to go. With the money I'd have spent for a long, boring day, with childcare issues aplenty, we went out for the day.

Bubble2bubble · 28/09/2015 11:08

I didn't go to mine and don't regret it. Dressing up and parading not really my thing....also I had accepted a job abroad which I would have had to turn down if I had gone to graduation.
My mum was disappointed but my sister had had an all singing, all dancing graduation from Cambridge a couple of years before and I honestly think mine would not have compared at all.
You put in the work, you have the piece of paper - for me that's it really.

Original poster
cakedup · 28/09/2015 11:08

DS (age 10) wants me to go but only because he's seen it in films and thinks it cool. If he actually came, he would die of boredom.

DS was with me the day I handed in my dissertation - my last assignment. I actually cried with relief! And I don't think I've ever seen him so proud of me. We spent the rest of the day together and he couldn't stop congratulating me and making me feel like a queen for the day. That's the day that made it all worth it and worth a billion graduation ceremonies.

OP posts:
Moomintroll85 · 28/09/2015 11:08

Congrats on your degree! I quite enjoyed both of mine though they are lonnng. I don't think you'd be missing, do something nice with your kid/s instead. Quite a few people on my course didn't come to ours but no one batted an eyelid.

You should still feel proud of yourself, I appreciate your frustration at missing out on a first by a few marks but you've still done really well!

Original poster
cakedup · 28/09/2015 11:10

My sister graduated some 15 years ago and did the whole graduation thing with photos etc. so at least my parents have that.

OP posts:
Mrsjayy · 28/09/2015 11:10

Dd isnt going to hers she cant get the day off she isnt that fussed really which is fair enoughv give yourvmum a photo copy of your degree she can post it on facebook Grin

Muckogy · 28/09/2015 11:10

i did not go to either of my postgrad grads. i needed the money that would have been spent both days for other more important things. i hate all that kind of shite and besides, my undergrad graduation day had been crap. i learnt my lesson and refused point blank to go.
i had gotten what i wanted - my first class honours final grade - and that's all that mattered to me.
YANBU.

Mrsjayy · 28/09/2015 11:11

Randm Vs in my post sorry

Original poster
cakedup · 28/09/2015 11:12

Thank you Moomintroll85. I know i'm being hard on myself, but I think because I sacrificed so much, especially with DS (not having as much time with him during the degree and being really stressed) i felt that I needed a first for it to be worth it! Silly though I know.

OP posts:
TerrorAustralis · 28/09/2015 11:12

I went to my undergrad one and it was boring. I didn't bother going to my post-grad one, and have no regrets.

But after your update I wonder if it might be nice for your son if you go. As long as he understands it will be Boring with a capital B, and there probably won't be any inspiring or witty speeches, and definitely no cap-throwing.

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 28/09/2015 11:12

I never understand why there are so many threads about this.
If you want to go- go. If you dont- dont.
I didn't for my last one.

tumpymummy · 28/09/2015 11:22

I understand about not wanting to go because you are a bit disappointed. I just missed out on a 2:1 by 1% and was so gutted. But my parents encouraged me to go as they were still proud so I went for them. I'm glad I did because now I just remember that I graduated, not the result really. It is an acheivement no matter what you get, so it could be a good thing to show your DS. So long as you explain that a lot of it will be boring.

Original poster
cakedup · 28/09/2015 11:27

sharonthewaspandthewineywall I've never come across a thread about this myself, but I'm sure my post is not original. I don't think using the experiences of others to help me reach a final decision is anything original either. I don't want to go, but I want to make sure I won't have any regrets, and I wonder how other people felt about it.

OP posts:
sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 28/09/2015 11:31

Really? Theres been blooming loads lately!

ladygracie · 28/09/2015 11:32

Sharon - I have never seen a thread about this before but surely we could say the same about a huge amount of threads. And it was hardly a cryptic title.
OP - I went to mine & they were really boring. Would not have regretted missing them I'm sure. The best part was the yummy family lunch afterwards.

ladygracie · 28/09/2015 11:33

Sorry cross posted with you. Oh, I must have missed them.