Sex AIBU

[NCNancy]

Warning may be TMI!

Started dating a new guy and we have slept together a couple of times. The first time we spent ageeeesss heavy petting etc then loads of oral. We tried having PIVsex but as soon as he put the condom on he lost his errection, tried to restart things but he couldn't get going again. Never happened to me before so I was confused, he reassured me it always happens to him as he has a mental thing about using condoms.

Next time we have sex again, huge build up and loads of oral but then tells me he doesn't wanna hav PIV sex as he is really tired and wants it to be really good, not like last time, doesnt want to dissapoint me etc.

We had a bit of another day and he says he would prefer if we didnt do PIV until we decide to be in a relationship and I use BC so he doesnt have to use the condom. While I am not overly bothered about not having PIV sex (not a huge issue for me for the time being) I can't help thinking he is being unreasonable.

I prefer to use condoms and would ideally never go back on any other kind of BC due to poor experiences in the past with my health.

Any I cant help feel he IB somewhat U. Also is this normal?

Ha, Helena, you're about a decade younger than me, there must have been at least one other version between the trials we took part in, and what you heard about!

Any progress on that method that blocks the vas deferens, but is soluble (with the right stuff), supposedly widely trialled in India? Or is that another five years away?

(Apologies for derail, OP. )

I don't think that this looks promising for you. Ideally you would have penetrative sex BEFORE commencing a long term relationship, because what if he's no good at it?

Hey everyone thanks for the replies, good to get a varied bunch of opinions.
I'm kind of leaning towards what introvert in the last post I'm not sure I want to wait weeks/months before we decide to commit to have PIV with him.
We had a little chat about things yesterday and he said he is going to buy some extra thin condoms as he thinks that may help. I tend to think it's a mental thing about condoms in general but we'll just have to see I suppose.
I havent told him about my past experiences with BC so can't say how he'll react to that? We also agreed to both get checked out asap.

He ought to practice by masturbating wearing a condom. Make sure it's a good fit - they come in all sizes and shapes nowadays, he can even get them made bespoke (although I've forgotten the name of the websie). Or, pop a cock ring on him and see if that works.