to suggest H moves into DDs bedroom?

[HookedOnHooking]

DD is off to university tomorrow so won't be there.

I don't sleep well. I thrash. I wake up. I have a dodgy back and my comfortable position is flat. But then I snore.
Obviously this irritates H and then he gets disturbed and wakes up and grumbles and gives off bad vibes which wakes me up.

The options are...

1. I kill him
2. He kills me
3. Someone moves out.

I don't think it should be me. I could sleep if I wasn't disturbed by his bad vibes.

No point in gp for snoring. It's because of the dodgy back.

I duspect DD might object if I took over her room completely. She'll be back in 9 weekss

Snoring isn't caused by a dodgy back.

Your back does not affect your nasal passages. There may be things that could help. It's not a foregone conclusion that sleeping on your back means you snore.

Why does he get up at 3am?

So don't take over it completely....just sleep in it. You can use your own room to get dressed etc.

Sorry but if you snore and thrash you should move tbh. Also if this has been going on 20 years why have you never spoken to a sleep clinic??

Why should he move rooms?

Dh sleeps on his back but doesn't snore btw. It's not a given.

I agree with everyone else. You should be the one moving rooms.

Humph. I see I could be being a smidgen unreasonable

My dh has a dodgy back and sleeps on his back, he doesn't snore.

You don't have to take the room over completely.

Well done for the attempts at coming over as reasonable

I agree. YABU and snoring isn't caused by a dodgy back. It's often much worse she the snorer sleeps on their back and that is entirely different from it being the cause. Go to your doctor. Snoring can be caused by a range of things and there may well be something that the doctor can do for you (and your DH).

My husband snores pretty epically - it's like a heard of vocal wildebeest with megaphones. He's over weight, which is the main cause in his case. He hasn't lost any weight over the years but I find that nasal sprays help to some extent with the racket, though not always. His snoring stops me being able to get to sleep so I always have to go to bed before him and it's often loud enough to wake me up in the night. I'd be furious if he suggested I move out of here room so that he gets a better nights sleep, even though it's often me that has to find somewhere else to sleep.

Go to a chiropractor for your bad back and once it's better, the snoring will deal with itself.

In our house whoever is causing the problem has to bugger off to the sofa bed. We keep spare bedding in a cupboard next to it so it's not too much faff to sort out

DH snores, twitches, fidgets, flails his arms and legs around and is generally an absolute pain in the arse. A full brass band could march through our bedroom and he wouldn't stir

I struggle with insomnia, so sleeping (or attempting to sleep) next to that every night is not a restful experience. Even when I do finally fall asleep a sparrow farting in the tree down the road is enough to wake me up

I'm lying there quietly, why should I have to move?

Are you overweight? Both snoring and a bad back could be caused by obesity and losing weight would help in that case. In the short term I agree you should move.

You are the problem so you leave.

Check your mattress and pillows, how old are they? If you invest in a really decent mattress and pillows (a decent memory foam one for instance) it may make a huge difference. I always thought I was an insomniac, awake every night for years until I got a new bed/mattress and pillow - now I sleep through the night!

Well dh is the snorer in our house and I sometimes go and slip in with dd (who has a double) or the spare bed. I am the one who moves...because I am the one not sleeping. Usually we do go to bed together, which I think is important.

You should move OP.

Why does a decent mattress cost £800? Mine cost about £250 and is firm and very comfortable.

Songofsixpence - you could be my wife, and I your husband.

I'm a husband who snores, and generally doesn't sleep well (though I have been improving). My wife can be woken up very easily.

Hence I've been sleeping in the spare room for the past 10 years.

It annoys the hell out of me - I've been to the ENT and been prescribed all sorts of things that have had little to no effect. I sleep on my side. I've got an MAD which does nothing. Tried accupressure rings. Nasal strips. I've managed to sleep on my side now (rather than on my front, as if I'm upside-down in a coffin). Though my doctor basically said last time "it's because you're overweight" (my BMI is 27, though I'm now losing weight), it's been going on for years, back when I was severely underweight.

But, though I am a snorer, again, why should he be the one to move? You claim he wakes you through "bad vibes", though you wake him first. You're the one with the problem (albeit not one you can control, or not one you've tried to take charge of yet).

Quick aside - yes, also tried nasal sprays (beconase and flixonase).

Oh, yeah, "bad vibes". Forgot to comment on that:

My DM decorated my old room to make it the nicer one and has moved into it. I am 36 with two kids and own home so not same situation, but just to illustrate that being the one who moves isn't always bad. She and df both annoy each other though,although I guess df is the worse one.

I agree with those who say as the snorer and thrasher you should move. Bad vibes does sound a bit fanciful tbh.

Sleeping with a snorer can feel like torture!